Amatorum Permansum
by JusticeHouse
Summary: This story chronicles Jack and Elizabeth’s relationship and projects it forward from the episode Bob.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Not making any money.

**Author's Notes: **I noticed that although everybody seemed to like Elizabeth as a potential love interest for Jack there's not a whole lot of fic featuring her. I decided, shortly after the ep. aired that I would write a story about their relationship. I started this fic during the 5th season hiatus and have been working on it off and on since then.

I've really struggled with the storyline because of the awful way Season 5 played out. So I finally came to the conclusion that I should use as much or as little of the last few eps. as made sense. You see some familiar circumstances happening to the gang at APO, but by no means does this fic follow cannon (I would **_NEVER_** kill our SpyDaddy!).

I did however use the exact dialogue from _Bob_ in several scenes so credit must be given to Monica Breen and Alison Schapker. Although I did tweak some of it to fit my purposes.

I'm also going with Jack being recruited at 17, which means he would have graduated from High School a year early. All flashbacks are in italics. If you have questions about my timeline let me know and I can PM you with the exact dates I came up with.

**Chapter 1**

Jack stood in the drawing room, idly tapping the piano keys. He tried to stay focused on the mission at hand, but it was difficult with the hints of memories assailing him. He hadn't seen Elizabeth in over 15 years; he had stayed in contact, but they hadn't been in the same room together since that awful night.

He looked up at the sound of her voice, "Do you still play?"

Jack quickly schooled his features to a picture of nonchalance before answering, "No, gave it up years ago." He pulled off his glasses.

"You shouldn't have approached me here."

"I take it Joseph _still_ doesn't know what you do for a living." It was more of a statement than a question.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "How would it look for the British Ambassador to France to have a spook as his lover? Besides, this is where I get my best intelligence."

"I already talked to the Minister of Finance. He's a dimwit."

"What's this about, Jack?"

He got right to the point. "We believe someone operating within MI-6 is attempting to acquire a micropulse bomb."

"Well, that's outrageous. MI-6 would never sanction it," Elizabeth was shocked.

"I agree. More likely whoever it is represents some corrupt element."

"Are you suggestion we have a double agent?"

"Yes, but it goes much deeper than that. Have you ever heard of Prophet Five?" When she shook her head, Jack explained. "They appear to have infiltrated multiple intelligence agencies, not just MI-6."

"And you think that following this weapon will give us the key to finding out more? You want me to investigate my agency from the inside?" Elizabeth was skeptical, to say the least.

"I wouldn't be coming to you if it didn't also involve Sydney."

"Sydney? Is she all right?"

"She's fine; in fact you just met her."

Elizabeth nodded her head, finally realizing why the young woman had been vaguely familiar. She smiled and said, "Oh my goodness. It has been a long time. And unless that's a very convincing disguise . . ."

"I'm going to be a grandfather. A very _young _grandfather," he added, a little defensively.

"Jack . . . she's lovely." She paused before adding, "She looks like you."

Jack raised his eyebrows but made no comment. "The agent I told you about, Michael Vaughn, he was her fiancé."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. But, what you're asking me to do, to investigate my own agency – that's treason!"

"What's a little treason between old friends?" he asked, flippantly.

On the flight trip back, Jack was distracted. Distracted enough so that Sydney actually commented on it. "Dad, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You just seemed a million miles away. What were you thinking about?"

Jack hesitated before answering, "I was thinking about strategies to prevent the MPB from falling into the mole's hands."

Sydney frowned, "Is that all?"

"Yes."

"Elizabeth seems nice." Sydney switched subjects after a brief pause. When Jack didn't answer, she pressed him. "So how do you know her?"

There was a long silence, so long that she assumed her father wasn't going to answer. Then quietly, he said. "We first worked together when we were young recruits. Before I met your mother."

"And?" Sydney pushed a little more. She was eager to hear about her father and his life before her mother broke him.

"And what? We met on a joint task force between the CIA and MI-6."

"Care to give me some details? It's a long flight and I don't think I'll be getting to sleep any time soon with the little guy doing backflips!"

Jack's face softened at the mention of his grandchild. Sydney's baby was due in a couple of months and very active. He sighed and began relaying his history with Elizabeth Powell.

"I'd only been with the CIA for about 18 months when I was asked to be on a JTF that was coordinating with MI-6. I was going to college full time while working part-time for the CIA.

"They wanted me for my background in Game Theory; I was something of a prodigy. Intel had indicated that East Germany and Russia were allying in order to circumvent western interests.

"From what we could tell, they were trying to create the next generation of nuclear weapons. And since there was little to no communication between communist and western countries, we had no way of knowing if these were rogue agents or not."

'You worked with Elizabeth on the task force?" interjected Sydney.

Jack nodded. "She was a language expert and also had an interest in Game Theory. Our superiors tasked us to translate the chatter then create end games and counter measures. It took eight months for the team to come up with a scenario that Langley would approve."

**1966**

"Devlin, you take Bristow, Powell, and Sanderson to the East entrance. We'll be converging on the group from all sides. Take them in or take them down." Thomas Thornton was the task force leader and an uncompromising one.

_The compound was rather small considering what The Commune was planning. As Jack and the rest of the team headed up the East corridor, gunfire broke out ahead of them. They rushed forward, intent on helping their colleagues._

_In the midst of the gunfight, Jack saw several agents go down. The CIA had underestimated the size of the contingent based on the size of the compound. Jack had tried to warn them, explaining that the small size would be perfect for an ambush of this sort._

_When all was said and done, 10 of the 16-member task force had been killed. Devlin was the only team leader, with three other senior agents to survive. Jack and Elizabeth were low-level officers and of little consequence to The Commune._

_They were place in the same cell after they'd each been interrogated for several hours. They were under minimal guard, which gave the two young agents to opportunity to plan an escape._

_Ignoring the cuts and bruises that resulted from their questioning, they attacked the guards as they were attempting to transfer them to a new holding area. With the element of surprise on their side, they were able to easily take down the two guards._

_Grabbing the guns, they took off, skirting guards as they tried to find their comrades._

"_Jack," Elizabeth hissed, "this is insane! We'll never find them! We need to get out and contact Langley."_

"_By that time they could be taken somewhere else or worse, they could be dead! These guys do not fuck around!"_

_At that moment a door opened to reveal a guard hauling Ben Devlin out of his cell. Jack quickly took aim; the guard looked surprised as the bulled pierce his brain._

_Elizabeth rushed to Devlin's side as he collapsed from pain and hunger. "Sir, can you walk?"_

_Jack knew they didn't have a lot of time before someone realized what was happening. "Sir, do you know where the others are? We don't have much time."_

"_They killed Andrews and Callahan this morning," Devlin said, tiredly. "I think Foster is a few cells down."_

_The trio made their way down the corridor, checking cells as fast as they could. When they found Foster, he was in as bad a shape as Devlin. The two more able-bodied agents assisted their senior officers out of the building without incident. It was when they attempted to hotwire a car that they had a problem._

As Jack tried to reconfigure the wires, several guards opened fire. He threw his gun to Elizabeth hoping he could hold them off until the jeep started. As she finished her clip, the engine roared to life.

"Both Elizabeth and I received commendations from the State Department for meritorious services to the U.S. The task force continued to work toward finding and bringing the members of The Commune to justice. Which we did in just under a year," Jack finished.

"So you and Elizabeth became friends?"

"Elizabeth has been a wonderful friend over the years," he said softly.

Sydney sensed that there was something more to her father's relationship with Elizabeth Powell. However, she didn't pry any further. She mentally started to put the pieces together, calculating when her father met her mother and smiled to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"What happened in Brazil?" Jack asked.

"Oh, Rachel got food poisoning."

"Sorry." He turned to Sydney, "Marshall decrypted the transmission. The double agent is due to meet Basarov in Spain in 14 hours. I'm leaving now to surveille the exchange."

"You taking anyone with you?" questioned Sydney.

"My MI-6 contact is joining me."

Sydney raised her eyebrows but said nothing. Jack left the room wondering why he felt the need to explain himself to his daughter.

Several hours later, he and Elizabeth found themselves in a small abandoned warehouse.

"Well, this is charming."

Jack smiled, "I knew you'd like it. I could have spared you the trip, handled this alone."

"Someone from my agency is involved. You can't expect me to stand on the sidelines."

"I figured as much."

"Besides, I was looking forward to seeing you again. It's been too long, Jack," Elizabeth said quietly.

"I know," he looked away and began fiddling with the equipment. "Why don't you start with the cameras?"

As Jack handed her the camera and tripod, Elizabeth smiled, saying, "It's alright, I understand."

Sydney came on comms, "This is Phoenix. How are you doing?"

"We're almost set up."

Elizabeth checked the camera, "Connection's good."

"Phoenix, you should be getting visuals."

"Got it, Raptor. We're standing by."

Jack went to a weapons case and opened it. "We can tag the weapon with this tracker. Once they . . ."

Elizabeth's cell phone rang. She checked the caller then said, "Joseph."

"Where does he think you are?"

"Developing nations summit." She turned off the phone. "You were saying?"

"Once the weapon's in transport, we'll notify the CIA so they can recover it without tipping the double agent."

"Sounds good," she turned at the sound of a vehicle. "Looks like they're ahead of schedule."

They watched as Lukas Basarov got out of the truck and waved his assistant over to help uncover the weapon.

Looking concerned Sydney said, "Do you see that?"

"Yeah," said Marshall. "Given the size, I'm assuming it's got at least a twenty-mile blast radius.

Just then, another car pulled up. "I thought he was showing up alone," Jack stated.

"So did I," replied Elizabeth.

They looked on as Basarov was surrounded by a group of men. One approached him.

"That man – can you get a better image?" Sydney asked.

"Yeah, I'm on it." Marshall got to work as the man seemed to look right at the camera.

"Oh my God!" Sydney exclaimed. "That's Masari."

"Who?" Marshall asked.

"Dad, those are _not_ MI-6 agents. Repeat: _Those are **not** MI-6 agents_! That is Benjamin Masari!"

Marshall asked again, "Who's Masari?"

"Sudanese head of the RLF – terrorist squad responsible for bombing Western targets in Africa," Tom jumped in.

Jack turned to Elizabeth, "This is an ambush."

Outside, the men opened fire on Basarov.

"The bomb!" Elizabeth quickly loaded her weapon as she heard a noise. Another team of men closed in on them.

Sydney's video screen went to static. "Dad, can you hear me?"

"It's no good, Syd. They're jamming our signal," Marshall informed her.

Jack and Elizabeth were hauled to a large van and tossed inside. After several minutes, a pair of guards joined them. While Jack had been handcuffed, Elizabeth was not.

The two men sat on either side of Elizabeth, challenging Jack with their eyes. He struggled to remain impassive as they stroked her arms and thighs.

"You will tell us who you work for and what you were doing in that warehouse."

Neither spoke, waiting to see what the guards would do next. Jack cringed imperceptibly as the guard on Elizabeth's right fondled her breast. He simply couldn't contain himself as the other man attempted to unbutton her blouse.

Jack lunged forward, landing an elbow to the temple of the first guard. The other on was on him in a flash, but not before Elizabeth landed a solid blow to his stomach.

The two guards took a couple of shots at Jack until the van door opened and Masari stepped in.

"Leave him. There will be time enough for that when we get to the compound." He sat next to Jack, motioning for the others to Elizabeth's side. "You will tell me why you were in that warehouse."

"Fuck you," Jack spit out through a mouthful of blood.

Masari looked at him appraisingly then said, "Not my type. But your pretty little girlfriend . . ." He let the threat hang.

Jack started to speak, then caught Elizabeth's almost indiscernible shake of her head and kept his mouth shut. For the rest of the 30-minute ride, Masari tried to interrogate them to no avail.

Upon arrival, Jack and Elizabeth were separated, taken to two interrogation cells. Jack's refusals to answer any questions led to more and harsher beatings. He prayed that Elizabeth was not treated as cruelly. Finally, after several fruitless hours, Jack was thrown into a rather large stone cell, still handcuffed. He promptly fell into blissful unconsciousness.

While Jack was beaten, Elizabeth endured a different kind of torture: She was forced to watch the interrogation. Masari sat next to her whispering to her, trying to persuade her to answer the questions that Jack refused to. Wisely, she said nothing, fearing that if she opened her mouth at all she'd tell him everything he wanted to know and more.

At last it was over and she was led to a cell. There she discovered Jack curled up in the corner out cold. She went to him and carefully set his head in her lap, stroking his hair. Elizabeth knew it would be dangerous to let him sleep for too long, but couldn't bring herself to rouse him quite yet. She leaned back against the wall and thought back to their flirtation as young agents.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_The long hours trying to track down the men of the Commune for a second time was taking its toll on all the members of the JTF, but most especially on its youngest two. While the veterans were used to the grueling pace and perils of the missions, Jack and Elizabeth were profoundly affected by the losses on their first attempt to take down the terrorist group._

_One night not too long after the failed mission, they sat together, frustrated by the apparent disappearance of all members of the Commune. Jack threw his stack of papers down and rubbed the bridge of his nose._

"_I can't look at this shit anymore," he muttered angrily._

_Elizabeth looked over at him, seemingly nonplussed. "It will eventually lead us to the answers. We just have to be patient."_

"_I'm way beyond patience at this point. I'm hungry and tired, and still sore . . ."_

"_Sore?" Elizabeth interrupted._

"_Yeah," he looked mildly embarrassed to be admitting it. "I pulled a muscle in my back when we helped Devil and Foster."_

_She gave him a sidelong glace and stood abruptly. "Let's go."_

"_Where?"_

"_You'll see."_

_They ended up at her apartment where she insisted he relax on the couch while she made dinner. It was only some reheated lasagna but it helped them take their minds off of work._

_Jack tried not to fidget as they ate; the hard-backed chair doing nothing for his already aggravated lower back. Elizabeth noticed his discomfort but didn't say anything as he offered to help with the dishes._

_Afterwards, as they sat on her couch sipping, Elizabeth turned to Jack. "How did you hurt your back?"_

"_One of the goons who interrogated us slammed me into a corner of the table. And when we carried Devlin and Foster out, I felt something give in the same spot."_

"_Take off your shirt."_

_Jack looked at her blankly before a sense of comprehension arose. "I, uh . . ."_

"_Don't worry, I'm not trying to jump your bones."_

_He breathed a sigh of relief. Despite having a couple of girlfriends in high school and being one of the best looking guys in his class (according to the yearbook), Jack had never really gotten beyond "first base." And it wasn't that the girls weren't pretty, they were. But he never could connect with them. Oh, they nice enough, but Jack was so much more intelligent that he quickly lost interest._

_He unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off. "Why am I taking this off again?"_

"_You need a massage. If your back still hurts two weeks on, the muscles should be loosened."_

_Jack stretched out on the floor, accepting the pillow Elizabeth offered. "Now close your eyes and relax."_

_Elizabeth could still see the faint shape of the bruise that marred his back. She was gentle, trying not to make it any worse. It didn't take long for Jack to groan his appreciation._

"_Mmm . . . That feels great."_

_That was the last either of them spoke for the next 30 minutes. This was the most relief Jack had gotten from the pain since the original injury._

_He sat up, feeling refreshed and turned to thank Elizabeth. Their faces were mere inches apart, but Jack was frozen. It was Elizabeth who took the initiative and closed the gap between them._

_At first he didn't move, unsure of why she was kissing him. Then Jack faced her fully and ran his hands through her hair. After a few moments, they both came up for air, slightly flushed. They looked at each other for several long moments, before Jack finally spoke._

"_What was that for?"_

"_I've been wanting to do that for months," Elizabeth replied, cheekily._

_Jack had been fighting the same feelings. He enjoyed Elizabeth's company more that he had any other woman's. But there were rules against fraternization between agents (although they were broken all the time). "Elizabeth," he began._

"_No, you don't have to say anything. It won't happen again." She pulled away, embarrassed, and stood._

_Jack was perplexed. He hadn't gotten a word out of what he was feeling. He stood as well and took her hand._

"_Elizabeth, I've been wanting to kiss you almost since the first time I saw you." He tilted her chin up to force her to look at him. "All I wanted to saw was that we should be very careful around the office."_

_A smile lit up her face and Elizabeth leaned in to claim his lips again._

Jack began coming around, aware that his head was no longer on the cold concrete floor. He opened his eyes to find Elizabeth staring back at him.

"Welcome back," she said, a hint of tears in her eyes.

"How long was I out," he asked, sitting up.

"About an hour. Anything feel broken?"

He shook his head and immediately regretted it. Jack lifted a hand to the back of his head and felt the dried blood. He cheek also felt swollen; everything else felt bruised, but functional.

They sat in silence for a long while. Jack was once again regretting putting someone he cared for in danger. Elizabeth continued to dwell on their past and what they'd given up together.

When she could stand the quiet no longer, she turned to him, curious. "Why didn't you ever remarry? Or at the very least date? I'm sure there were plenty of women who would have been thrilled!"

He looked at her in disbelief. "You're kidding, right? No woman wanted anything to do with me. Why would they?"

"Jack! You're a good man, not to mention handsome. Why wouldn't woman want to date you?"

He was quiet for several minutes before answering. "Do you not know what I've done these last 15 years? I am _not_ a good man; I've done things that are unforgivable."

Elizabeth broke in, "We all do things we're not proud of in this line of work. I've heard what people have said about you, but I know you. You could have made someone very happy."

"I wouldn't date, let alone remarry, because I didn't want to bring anyone else into my hell. And after Irina . . ."

"You didn't trust yourself not to be fooled again. You seem to forget, I was there; not always in person, but I was there. Seven years after she betrayed you and you were _still_ grieving the loss!"

At that moment, they heard a key grinding in the lock. The door opened, revealing Benjamin Masari and several of his henchmen.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten about us," Jack said, nonchalantly.

"I imagine for you this cell seems somewhat inhuman. You Westerners, so accustomed to your indulgence," Masari replied.

"Why are we here?" asked Jack.

"You were transmitting a video feed when you were found. Where was it going?"

Neither responded for a brief moment. Then Elizabeth decided to brave an answer, "Holiday photos. Costa del Sol in winter. As you say, we do like our little indulgences."

Masari motioned to his guards to take Elizabeth. Jack jumped to his feet. "Do not _touch_ her!"

The guards forced Elizabeth to a low table. They placed her elbows on the table, making her hand lay flat.

"If you want to spare her, answer me!" demanded Masari. He cocked his gun, pointing it at her hand. "Where was the transmission going?"

Elizabeth shook her head at Jack. She put on a brave face despite her fear; she didn't want Jack feeling guilty, though she knew he would.

"Take me." There was just an edge of desperation in Jack's voice.

Elizabeth interjected, "I'm not easily frightened."

"You should be." Masari shot Elizabeth's left hand.

As she screamed in agony, she fell away from the table. In spite of his handcuffs, Jack managed to deliver two hard blows to his guards. Unfortunately, it didn't take much for the guards to subdue and hold a gun on him.

"The right one," intoned Masari.

The guards coerced Elizabeth back to the table, her right hand pressed to the table this time.

"If you want to spare her, answer me." When didn't answer, Masari cocked his gun. "Perhaps we should try this again. Who do you work for?"

"Wait."

"Don't tell him," Elizabeth begged.

"Clearly you don't work with your hands, huh?" Masari was surprised at the woman's resilience.

Another guard entered the room and whispered to Masari. The guard handed him a phone and Masari left the room, taking all of the guards with him.

Elizabeth collapsed against Jack, breathing heavily. She was afraid to speak, lest she break down completely. Wordlessly, she handed him the keys she'd managed to lift off one of the guards.

"You couldn't get the ones to the door, too?"

She managed a wan smile, "I was a little preoccupied."

As Jack shed the handcuff, he gripped Elizabeth's hand gently, examining her injury. It was a clean shot, thank God. He ripped some cloth from her shirt and wound it around the wound. When he was done, he put his arm around her. She leaned in, craving his tender touch.

"Just rest," he murmured.

She closed her eyes and inhaled the faint scent of cologne that still lingered on him. Within a few moments she was fast asleep.

Several hours later found Dixon and Tom storming the cell where Jack and Elizabeth were being held. While Jack was surprised and slightly discomfited by their appearance, he kept his arms around Elizabeth.

"She needs medical attention," he asserted.

"You don't look so good yourself," Tom said. He asked Elizabeth, "You okay?"

"Yeah," she replied quietly.

"An extraction team is standing by. I'll call for them," Dixon said.

Both teams made it out intact. Rachel managed to disarm the MPB and release Sark from his bonds; he was subsequently let go. Jack ignored all of this, concentrating on Elizabeth.

She lay on a stretcher, her hand now properly bandaged. He stood beside her, unsure of what to say or do. Finally he settled on, " I've spoken with the driver. There's a plane waiting in Tunis. You'll be in a London hospital by nightfall."

"Wish Sydney well for me."

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth." Jack was unwilling to say for what; it went far beyond her current physical injury.

"Don't be."

Before the medic wheeled her away, he took her hand. Elizabeth gripped him tightly, trying to reassure him. And then she was whisked away to the ambulance.

Almost ten hours later found Jack sitting in his darkened apartment, starting at his piano. Despite what he told Elizabeth, he did still play on occasion. He just generally didn't have the time or the inclination.

The phone ringing startled him. "Hello?"

"Dad, it's me. How are you? How's Elizabeth?"

"Elizabeth will be fine, with some surgery."

"Are you sure you don't need anything? I could stop by on my way home," Sydney offered.

"I'm fine. I'm just exhausted."

"That's understandable."

"Why don't we meet for breakfast? I'll come by and pick you up," suggested Jack.

"That'd be great," she paused, trying to keep the tears from welling up. "Dad . . . if anything had happened, and I couldn't have been there . . ."

"Sydney," Jack interrupted, "you did exactly what I would have wanted. You and the baby are _all _that matter."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

"Sleep well."

Jack hung up the phone and move to the piano. It had been awhile since he'd felt the urge to play. His fingers quickly remembered the tune, and he found himself playing several pieces before realizing how late it was.

His reconnecting with Elizabeth had made him realize what he'd been missing. Before getting in bed, Jack made a promise to himself that he would make more time to play in the future.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** I forgot to say that from here on in I'll be updating once a week, usually on Fridays.

**Chapter 4**

It had been six weeks since Tunisia and they continued to work toward resolving who had really been after the MPB. Jack hadn't heard from Elizabeth, nor had he expected to. It was his fault she'd been hurt so badly, both during the mission and when they'd been involved so many years ago.

Now he rolled over to look at the digital display on the clock, trying to figure out what had awakened him in the first place. Then he heard it again: a series of knocks at his apartment door. He couldn't imagine who it was; APO would have called, as would Sydney. Unless something was wrong. Hastily, Jack untangled himself from the bedclothes and went to the door.

He looked through the peephole before opening it in surprise. "Elizabeth? What . . . what are you doing here?"

"I had no where else to go. Can I come in?"

"Of course," he stepped back, taking her back for her. He turned on a lamp before gesturing to the couch. "Can I get you something to drink?"

She shook her head and Jack caught a glimpse of her face. "Tough mission?" He pointed at the bruises marring her cheek and chin as he sat next to her.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Joseph found out."

Jack was silent for a moment. "And he did that to you? Why?"

Elizabeth ignored the question. "He wasn't supposed to be there. We weren't even invited. That's why I assumed it was safe, why I chose it for my first mission back.

"It was supposed to be a simple brush pass, but my contact requested that we meet. He said he had sensitive information that he didn't want to commit to paper or disc.

"Joseph walked in as we were finishing up. At first he assume I was having an affair, that I was cheating on him. I think he has some suspicions after I came home from a summit meeting with a bullet hole in my hand."

"I didn't picture Joseph as a violent man," Jack said mildly, inwardly seething.

"Neither did I. He was enraged when I explained that I worked for MI-6. Accused me of using him to get my intel. I _never_ did," she added for Jack's benefit. "I went where my superiors sent me. I actually tried to stay away from any mission that involved me using him as a cover."

"Why did he hit you?"

"I really don't know, nor do I care. After the second punch, I retaliated; I left him unconscious in the study of the governor's mansion. Jack, I can't go back."

"You can stay with me for as long as you need. Should you contact MI-6?"

"Already done. I told them I was taking some more time off because of Joseph's discovery."

Jack nodded. "Let me get you some ice." He needed to move, to let out some of the restless fury he was feeling. He wanted to throttle Joseph Spencer, and since the man was not within arm's length, he had to be content with slamming things around his small kitchen. Little consolation.

He brought the ice pack to Elizabeth and held it to her cheek, tenderly.

"Are you quite through making all that racket?" she asked. "My head is killing me."

"I'm sorry. It's just that I'd like to get my hands on that bastard."

"You can't blame him for being angry. After all, how did you react when you found out about Irina?"

"That's completely different! She was using me to gather intel for an enemy country. You couldn't tell Joseph you work for MI-6 for his own safety."

"I lied to a man who was in love with me," Elizabeth took the pack from him.

Jack wasn't sure what to say. She seemed to imply that she didn't love Joseph, but they'd been together for years. "Come on," he said, "you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

"I can't put you out like that," she protested.

"It's fine. And you've had a rough night. You can't use the comfort. Let me go change the sheets."

"Jack, you're already going out of your way. Besides, it's not like I haven't slept in your bed before."

He smiled self-consciously. "That was a long time ago when things were different. When we were different people."

"Not everything changes," Elizabeth responded.

Later, after he'd gotten Elizabeth settled in his bed, Jack lay on the couch, his mind wandering. He thought again of his days as a young agent, working with Elizabeth. Little did he know that she was doing the same.

**1966-1981**

Over the next ten months, Jack and Elizabeth worked with Langley and MI-6, attempting to capture the rogue communist agents. All the while, they were secretly dating. It was policy that agents from different agencies wait at least two months after joint assignments ended before dating.

_Jack and Elizabeth didn't consider themselves a truly serious couple at first. They went out on a few dates here and there (when they got away from the office). They rarely went beyond kissing and when they did, eventually one of them stopped before they could have any regrets._

_Occasionally, they slept at each other's places. Jack often serenaded Elizabeth, accompanying himself on the baby grand he'd stuffed into his apartment. Music was indulgence he allowed himself. He enjoyed sharing his talent and love of music with Elizabeth. It wasn't something he did with just anyone. In fact, she was the only person outside his family who knew about his passion for playing and singing._

_One night, they were able to get away from the agency for dinner and a movie (having to leave word about where they could be reached). Jack took her to see Casablanca, which was playing at a local drive-in. For most of the movie, he sat with his arm around her shoulder. As Rick urged Ilsa to get on the plane, though, Jack turned to Elizabeth and placed his lips against hers._

_They were both breathless when he finally pulled away. She ran a hand down his face, staring into his expressive brown eyes. Elizabeth knew she had lost her heart from the moment they'd first kissed; looking into his eyes now, she could imagine he felt the same way._

_At the restaurant, a place with an Irish flare, they sat discussing the movie, comparing it to their own lives. As their food arrived, Jack reached across the table and took her hand, gently rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. They exchanged heated looks throughout the meal and by the time the check came, Jack was quite ready to relieve the sexual tension if Elizabeth was willing._

"_Elizabeth . . ."_

"_Jack . . ."_

_They spoke at the same time and laughed. Jack ran his hand through his reddish-brown hair. He wasn't good at expressing his feelings. But for her he was willing to make the attempt._

"_Can I go first?" he asked. When she nodded, he started again. "I . . . I wanted . . . to tell you . . ."_

_An agent from the CIA cut Jack off, "Bristow, Powell. You're needed back at HQ. We've received intel that we need you to review."_

_They sighed. Elizabeth had been sure that Jack was going to reveal something big. Jack wasn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed. In any case he had a reprieve in which he might better prepare himself._

_Finally a break came and the JTF was able to track down and eliminate the rogue agents. Elizabeth would be staying through the end of the summer to tie up any loose ends. Jack would be returning to college full time in the fall._

_They were growing closer despite Elizabeth's looming departure. She knew she was in love with him, but didn't wasn't to force the issue. He thought he was in love with her but was afraid to say it in so many words._

_His own parents had been cold, rather stoic people; not good role models for expressing emotions. It had been rare that they showed any emotions, but they'd raised him with a strict Catholic upbringing; guilt had been one emotion they'd allowed him. It had been with great relief that Jack had been able to leave home at 17. He still, however, had difficulty in expressing his emotions freely._

_So it was that Elizabeth left LA the day before Jack registered for his classes. There were promises to keep in touch, but no bold declarations of feelings._

_Over the fall semester, Jack and Elizabeth faithfully wrote to each other. But over the winter session, Jack 's letters began mentioning a woman he'd met in an English Lit class he'd needed to take. He and Laura found themselves in the same General Psych class in the spring._

_Jack's letters began to wane. Elizabeth heard little from until the summer of 1969. He and Laura were to be wed in late July. His letter was so full of joy that Elizabeth couldn't be angry with him. She did, however, spend the night crying over a lost love._

_The next Elizabeth heard from Jack, he'd gotten his Master's Degree and had been promoted in the CIA. He was in demand for his original thinking, and expert execution of his plans._

_About a year later, he wrote to tell her that Laura had had a baby girl, Sydney Anne. Unfortunately, he'd been on a mission with his superior, Arvin Sloan when Laura had given birth. But he'd now been allowed two weeks off to be with his girls._

_In 1976, they were once again placed together on a joint task force. This time they were sent to the Middle East in an attempt to gather intel on Muammar al-Gaddifi. They were to pose as arms dealers and infiltrate the camp. If possible, they were to take him out._

_After the mission was completed, Jack and Elizabeth made time to go to dinner. They reminisced about their first mission together, their relationship, and discussed their current lives. He, of course, whipped out photos of Sydney. Jack bragged about how smart and beautiful she was. They then parted ways, promising to continue writing._

_Over the next four years, Jack sent Elizabeth sporadic updates. She always replies, but she usually didn't have anything exciting to report. She was also rising in the ranks of MI-6, but hadn't found love as he had._

_Then in November of 1980, rumors started flying about Jack's wife. Word trickled in that she'd been killed in a car crash; then that she was a Russian spy, a double agent. Soon, Jack had been taken into custody, suspected of collaborating with the woman now known as Irina Derevko._

_When Jack was released after six months, Elizabeth immediately wrote to him. She wanted to know how he was, if there was anything she could do to help. The reply she got was stilted, so unlike the Jack she knew. He said he was fine, Sydney was fine, and he was grateful that the CIA was allowing him to continue working for them._

_Over the next several years, Elizabeth continued writing to Jack a few times a year. His letters were always clipped, emotionless. But she kept trying to reach the man that he had been when she first knew him._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The next morning, Jack awoke to the smells of coffee brewing and bacon sizzling. He stretched and padded into the kitchen to see Elizabeth manning the stove.

"You don't need to cook for me," he said.

"I know. But I thought I'd make up for kicking you out of your bed last night," she explained.

"Let me take a look at your face. Are you in pain?" He tilted her head to he could see her injuries more clearly.

"I've had much worse, you know that."

"And that means I can't be concerned?" he asked mildly.

Elizabeth's response was cut off by the phone. Jack walked to the other room to answer so all she could hear was some low mumbling. Then the receiver was slammed down. She heard Jack stalk down the hall and bash the bedroom door closed.

Concerned, she followed and knocked on the door before entering. When there was no reply, Elizabeth gave him fair warning and entered anyway. Jack had pulled out a suit and tie, but wasn't moving. He was just staring.

"Jack?" She lay a hand on his back and could feel him trembling. "What's wrong? Who was on the phone?"

His silence scared her; she'd never seen him quite like this. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. "Talk to me Jack! Please let me help."

"I have to go into APO. Sydney's been kidnapped by Prophet Five. They want to know Nadia Santos' whereabouts. They think Sydney knows."

"I thought you told me that Agent Santos had succumbed to the Rambaldi infection?"

Jack seemed to snap out of his daze then. "I have to go."

"I'll go with you. I'm sure you can use another agent on this." Elizabeth didn't miss the fat that Jack hadn't answered her question. Eventually he'd let her in.

He nodded briefly and she grabbed her bag, heading to the bathroom to change.

Thirty minutes later found them in the briefing room at APO, remarkably fast for downtown LA. Dixon was running the meeting, as he had been the one to receive the transmission.

"Whoever sent the recording used a voice synthesizer. Marshall is currently attempting to track down the point of origin, but it's been pinged off several dozen servers.

"We've been informed that Prophet Five is holding Sydney captive. Right now, they are interrogating her, trying to find out Nadia's location."

"But, she's at St. Catherine's, isn't she? I mean, that's where we have her monitored right? Why would anyone need an unconscious woman, anyway?" Marshall rambled.

Jack stood up at this point. "You're forgetting that she's the Passenger."

"What exactly is going on, Jack?" asked Dixon.

"Prophet Five is trying to make Rambaldi's prophecy a reality." After the collective gasp, he continued. "They need the Passenger and the Chosen One for that to happen. I believe that they think the baby plays a role in this as well.

"I found St. Catherine's as a place for Nadia's initial recovery and safety. I planted intel with certain people that she had been taken off life support and subsequently died. It was another way to ensure her safety.

"I don't know how they discovered that Nadia is still alive, but Sydney doesn't know where she's hidden."

The room was silent for a moment. Then Tom spoke up, "Do _you_ know where Agent Santos is?"

"Not any more. I told the priests to move her every four to six weeks, although I do have means of contacting them."

"How do we proceed, Jack?" Dixon wanted to know.

"I want a list of known Prophet Five members and their last known locations. I want a list of anyone who's ever dealt with Prophet Five. We'll reconvene in two hours."

Despite have six people researching, their investigation turned up little. Only one new name: Doctor James Burris, no location on him, and a mysterious contact known only as Koehlinski. Koehlinski had contracted with Prophet Five to carry out several missions, but there were no particulars.

Jack decided to send out a team to capture Kelly Peyton while she was still in Singapore. Tom, Rachel, and Dixon were dispatched with strict instructions to bring her in alive.

Later that evening, Elizabeth found Jack sitting in his office. Though his eyes were closed, she knew he wasn't asleep. She stood behind him and began rubbing his neck gently. "What can I do?"

"I'm fine."

"Jack, you're not fine. Your pregnant daughter has been kidnapped. I want to help you! I know that we haven't been as close as we once were, but I _still_ care for you."

He pulled away without answering. Elizabeth was stung. Despite their years apart, she thought they still had a connection. She started to leave when Jack stood suddenly and grabbed her wrist.

"You leaving again?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Just a reminder that flashbacks are in italics.

**Chapter 6**

**1987**

_By chance, Jack and Elizabeth ran into each other in East Germany while both were trying to gather intel on Tiernan O'Rourke. O'Rourke was a dangerous member of the IRA who was currently hiding out in a country that had very little to do with Western society. _

_It was the first time they'd seen each other since Irina Derevko's betrayal had been revealed. Elizabeth was shocked at the changes she saw in Jack: Gone was the happy laid, back young man she'd met twenty years ago. In his place was a serious, staid CIA agent who didn't seem to smile._

_In spite of that, he did accept her invitation to dinner that evening. Jack waited for her to open the conversation; he hadn't been on a date since he married Laura . . . _Irina_. While he like Elizabeth, it was awkward being in this situation again._

"_How are you doing? Your letters never give me any details," she started off._

"_I'm fine. There really isn't anything else to tell . . ."_

_Elizabeth cut him off, "What about Sydney?"_

_There was a ghost of a smile on his lips as he withdrew her school picture from his wallet. "She's on the honor roll. She'll be thirteen in a few months."_

"_Oh, my. She's beautiful, Jack."_

"_But she inherited my ears; a constant source of sorrow for her, so I've heard."_

"_You've heard?"_

"_Sydney is not currently speaking to me," Jack tossed back a scotch, then quickly ordered another and repeated the gesture._

"_Ah, well, she's a teenager. They do things like that, so I'm told. I was an absolute terror . . ."  
_

_Jack stood, mumbling under his breath, "This was a bad idea."_

_Elizabeth followed him to the curb and, despite his protests, got into the cab he hailed. The ride to his hotel was spent in stony silence, but she dogged him all the way to his room. She pushed her way in and sat on one of the queen-sized beds._

"_Why are you running from me?"_

"_I'm not," Jack was standing at the window, his back to her. She could see how tense he was._

_Her voice was gentle as she began. "I know these last years can't have been easy on you. But you should know that I've always been here, waiting for you to ask for help. I'm your friend, Jack. And I want you to trust me with whatever is bothering you."_

_Jack had always felt comfortable with Elizabeth. From the moment they'd met, he never felt like he had to hide who he was; he could relax around her. Despite of the years they'd spent apart, he still felt the connection._

"_Sydney and I . . . are not as close as we once were."_

"_Why not?"_

"_She thinks it's my fault her mother died."_

"_What?!"_

"_Sydney believes I lost control of the car and her mother was killed as a result."_

"_Why in the name of God does she believe such a thing? Why haven't you told her the truth?" Elizabeth was outraged._

"_The alternative would be devastating. You want her to know her mother was a KGB spy? Sent here only to use me for intel on American interests? Do you really want me to tell my little girl that her mother, in all likelihood, never wanted her in the first place?" Jack's voice had risen with every word. He turned from the window and Elizabeth could see that he was shaking._

_She carefully chose her words before speaking. "Just because her mother is dead doesn't mean that you should become a scapegoat. You forget that I know how much you love your daughter. So much that you told me, not long before the accident, you were thinking of leaving the CIA."_

"_It's too late now. She hates that I'm away so much, she hates that I drink, she hates _me_!"_

_Elizabeth stood up and went to him, wrapping her arms around him. She felt the hitch in his breathing; she stroked his back, wanting to calm him. Instead, he nearly collapsed against her._

_She maneuvered them both to a bed and made Jack look at her. The man she saw was utterly broken, a shell of who he once was. There were unshed tears glistening in his eyes; he simply looked lost. Elizabeth put her arms around him again murmuring nonsense words in his ear._

_When his grief was spent at last, they lay down on the bed together. Jack spooned himself behind her tightly. He hadn't been this close to a woman since he'd been in CIA custody._

_Elizabeth turned her head slightly. "I'll help you get through this, Jack." When she felt him nuzzle her neck lightly, something he used to do when they dated, she felt relieved. Perhaps the Jack Bristow of old could be reached._

_The next morning, Elizabeth woke to find Jack gone from the bed. She was reassured by the sound of the shower running. She wanted to talk to him about repairing his relationship with Sydney. And for that to happen, she needed details about what had occurred in the aftermath of Irina Derevko's death and the subsequent revelation of her deception._

_Jack exited the bathroom wearing only his boxers. Elizabeth couldn't help but take not that he was in as good a shape as he ever was (though he had accumulated a few new scars). He quickly grabbed his jeans and a polo then pulled them on._

_She smiled slightly, "Sorry, I couldn't help myself."_

_He didn't answer, but started packing up his belongings. Elizabeth watched for several moments before getting up. She needed to keep him from leaving. "We should talk."_

"_About what? My pathetic excuse for a life? I'm not really in the mood."_

"_Remember what I said last night, Jack. I want to help you. _Let_ me help you. But you have to talk to me. Tell me what happened after Irina died."_

_Jack rounded on her. "You want to know what happened? The _day_ after the funeral I was hauled off to Camp Harris for interrogation. My little girl, who'd just lost her mother, had to watch me be taken away in handcuffs!_

"_I didn't see her again for six months! I didn't see anyone unless they were coming to question me. You know, they have very . . . inventive ways of making people talk._

"_Sydney was afraid of me when I came home. I took her awhile to overcome that fear. So I employed a nanny to help. I had to continue to work for the CIA, of course. I had to prove my loyalty, I still do. Which is why I have to take whatever missions they assign me."_

_Elizabeth was actually thankfully to see the hostility Jack was showing. He had seemed to be so emotionless these last few years. But she knew that he had to have been infuriated over what had been done to him._

"_Sydney . . . why is she so mad at you?"_

"_Why isn't she? She lost her mother and then her father left her with virtual strangers for months. She was too young to understand, and I still can't explain the circumstances!_

"_I go away for days, weeks at a time. And somehow I've lost the ability to communicate with my daughter."_

"_So you drink to forget the pain in your life." Elizabeth had put some pieces together. He'd downed two scotches in less than ten minutes last night _and_ he'd mentioned that Sydney hated his drinking._

_He looked at her, incredulously. "You think I'm an alcoholic? A danger to Sydney, to the CIA?"_

"_Not yet," she placated. "You've got plenty in your life to be angry about, but drinking yourself into oblivion won't change what has happened. Getting pissed every night will _not_ endear you to Sydney._

"_She still needs you; she's worried about you. She wouldn't be this upset about the drinking if she wasn't."_

_Jack sat down heavily and looked at Elizabeth. "Help me."_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**1987-1988**

_The rest of that day was spent making arrangements for them to keep in contact. Every other week Jack needed to check in with Elizabeth. He was supposed to at least attempt making conversation with Sydney and had to limit his alcohol consumption to once or twice a week. They also made plans to meet every six to eight weeks._

_The first few times they met were pretty routine. They had dinner and talked until the wee hours of the morning. He was starting to make some progress with Sydney; they were able to discuss school. But Jack hadn't cut back as much on his drinking. Still, Elizabeth was encouraging._

_When they met about six months after their initial assignation, they both realized something was changing. Elizabeth's feelings for Jack had never truly faded, but as she'd helped him cope, she found herself fighting to keep their relationship platonic._

_Jack, who had been in love with Elizabeth long ago and never admitted it, was becoming attracted to her more and more. Every time they met or spoke on the phone, he found himself wanting to take her in his arms._

_After dinner that night, he finally gave into the urge. He traced her cheek with a finger and her eyes fluttered shut at the sensation._

"_Jack . . . we shouldn't . . ."_

_He silenced her with his lips. When he finally pulled away, he said, "It's been too long . . ." He covered her mouth again._

_Soon, they'd collapsed onto the bed, shedding clothes along the way. Jack was a generous lover, making sure Elizabeth was satisfied before he even entered her._

_They spent the night making love, but Elizabeth sensed that Jack was still holding back. She kept her feelings to herself and they parted in the morning, a time set for their next contact._

_Jack continued to struggle with his drinking, and as a result his relationship with Sydney suffered. Many times he was drunk when he called Elizabeth, although he was always sober when they met. Yet, their routine continued; eat, talk, make love._

_Elizabeth, however, was growing increasingly frustrated. Jack, for whatever reason, seemed incapable of reducing his alcohol intake, let alone stop completely. He continued to try to reach Sydney on a more personal level, but she kept rebuffing him, so he returned to the bottle._

_One night, Jack showed up for their meeting completely drunk. It was the last straw for Elizabeth; she lit into him._

"_I can't do this anymore! I can't help you if you won't put any effort into this!"_

"_What do you think I've been doing this last year, Elizabeth? Do you think this is a game to me? A way for me to get into your pants?"_

"_I don't know anymore, Jack. What I do know is that for some reason you can't or won't give up the booze. And I love you too much to watch you kill yourself." She kissed his cheek, "I'll keep in touch."_

_It didn't register with Jack what Elizabeth had said until the door slammed. And yet, he stood, rooted to the spot. He finally realized just how badly he had fucked up: He had let the one person who gave a damn, who still cared about him, walk out of his life._

_It was the wake up call that Jack had needed. He quit drinking, cold turkey, that night. When he went home, he sat with Sydney and apologized for his drinking. Their relationship wouldn't change much; they didn't speak except on rare occasions. He was trying to keep her safe by not revealing too much about himself. She was still angry over her mother's death. Although she never knew it, Jack attended any major school event Sydney was a part of, including her graduation._

_A few weeks later, Jack wrote a letter to Elizabeth, trying to atone for his sins. He apologized for his behavior and thanked her for being there for him. He made no mention of her profession of love, his broken heart, or any hope of forgiveness._

_And yet, in her replay, all _was_ forgiven. Elizabeth would continue to write to him, hopeful of his progress with Sydney. She made no mention of love or _her_ broken heart either._

_So things remained the same; they were each other's confidantes. Elizabeth was one of the very few who knew the truth about Jack's work at SD-6. Jack was the first person she told about Joseph Spencer. But they didn't see each other until Jack requested they meet in Yorkshire._

Elizabeth stared at Jack. She hadn't imagined the hurt she heard in his voice; the look on his face confirmed it. She hadn't known how much her leaving had pained him. He had never said a word about it.

"I'm sorry," she said and turned her wrist so she could take his hand.

Jack was caught off guard. "What are you sorry for?"

"I shouldn't have left. You didn't need somebody else leaving you high and dry. I simply couldn't watch you drink yourself to death."

The office door opened and Marshall poked his head in. "Mr. Bristow, Ms. Powell, we've got a communication from the team in Singapore."

"Well? What is it?" Jack demanded.

"They've got Kelly Peyton in custody. They should be back in LA by morning. Uh, Mr. Bristow, if you don't mind me saying . . . you . . . well you look like you could use some sleep."

"I'm fine. I'll want to see Peyton as soon as she arrives . . ."

"And in the meantime, you could use the rest," insisted Elizabeth. She tugged on his hand and pulled him out the door. "We'll be back around seven."

Marshall was amazed. He'd never seen Jack Bristow so docile; not even Sydney could persuade him as easily.

At Jack's apartment, Elizabeth took over his kitchen. She made them a small meal of spaghetti. He mostly picked at it, but she didn't say anything.

When they settled on the couch, she reached for his hand. "We'll find her Jack. Sydney and the baby will be fine. And before you know it, you'll be a grandfather!"

Jack leaned against her, quiet for a long moment. He drew strength from her presence. "Thank you . . . for always being there. For being my friend, even when I wasn't worthy of it."

She kissed the corner of his mouth. "I care about you, Jack."

He thought for a minute and said, softly, "That night . . . the night you left . . . made me realize how badly I had screwed up, with Sydney, with you. And I knew I needed to fix it.

"You told me that you loved me. I wanted to, somehow, be deserving of that love . . ."

"Oh, Jack! You were . . . you are. Why do you think I've stuck by you all these years? I love you! I always have."

"But why? I've given you nothing but grief. I don't know why you put up with me! I'm damaged goods, Elizabeth."

"I know what kind of man you are. When you give your loyalty, your love, it runs deep and never falters. I thought you felt that for me once upon a time . . ."

Jack pressed his lips to hers. His actions would show her what he still couldn't quite put into words. Elizabeth ran her hands through his hair. He sighed into her mouth; while he hadn't been celibate these past years, rarely had his few liaisons included any tenderness.

She stood up, reaching for his hand. Elizabeth led him to the bedroom and pushed him down. She knelt beside him, taking in the exhaustion etched on his face. "Jack, as much as we both might want this . . ." she let the statement hang before continuing, "You need to sleep."

Elizabeth went to the bathroom to change. When she came back, Jack was sitting on the bed, now in his pajamas. She drew the covers back and maneuvered him underneath, placing another kiss on his lips before she turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I was going to sleep on the couch."

"Stay with me. We don't have to . . . I just want to have someone . . . to hold . . . I want you . . ."

Elizabeth took pity on Jack and slid in next to him. He pulled her close and she lay her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. They sighed contentedly and Elizabeth let out a small giggle. Jack dropped a kiss on the top of her head. Within a few minutes they were fast asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The shrill ringing of Jack's cell phone awoke them the next morning. It was Dixon, informing them that Peyton war in a holding cell, ready for questioning. Jack looked at the clock after hanging up; it was 7:30. He thought he would have been up hours ago.

When he looked at Elizabeth, she simply nodded. They dressed hurriedly, but not without some heated glances and touches. Still, they managed to make it in to APO shortly after 8 o'clock.

"Nobody has talked to her, Jack. She's all yours," Dixon greeted them.

Elizabeth saw a mask drop over Jack's face as headed to the interrogation room. She waited until he'd closed the door before going to the observation area. Dixon followed her and issued a warning.

"It's not going to be pretty in there. Are you sure you want to watch this?"

"I've seen plenty of rough interrogations, Mr. Dixon. I'll be fine."

He was silent for a moment. "Ms. Powell, I'm not questioning your abilities as an agent. However, you may not know Jack's reputation for his ingenious ways of getting people to talk.

"I consider Jack to be a friend and I've seen the looks you've been giving each other. Now I don't know your history with him, but you should know that if you become disturbed by what you see and reject him because of it . . ." he trailed off.

"There's nothing in the world that would make me leave Jack. Especially not now." Elizabeth turned her attention to Jack and Peyton.

He circled the table several times, not saying a word. He just stared at her. Finally, he sat across from her, still just looking. When he spoke at last, Jack's voice was low and measured.

"I will say this one time only. You need to give us a detailed summary of everything you know about Prophet Five. Contacts, members, assets, locations. And don't attempt an end around on me; it will only go even worse for you in the end."

Peyton spit in his face.

Jack pulled a handkerchief out, wiped his face, and pulled himself to his full height, towering over her. "Ms. Peyton, I am not a man to be trifled with under normal circumstances. My _very_ pregnant daughter has been kidnapped by your associates; you do _NOT_ want to jerk my chain."

He paused for a moment and sat before continuing, "You must understand that we have ways of finding your family. I'm sure you wouldn't want anything . . . untoward to happen to them. Especially your mother."

When the young woman gave an involuntary shudder, he proceeded. "You've never seen what the men at Camp Harris are capable of. Trust me when I say that the strongest of men have been broken there. Do you really think your untrained civilian relatives will have a chance in hell of surviving?"

The psychological games lasted for hours. Peyton refused to speak or when she did, it was with the fanaticism of a Rambaldi acolyte. Jack continued to up the ante; describing in detail what would happen to her mother, her sister, her brothers, nephews, and nieces (he was disgusted with himself for even implying that he would hurt innocent civilians, especially children).

After almost four hours, Peyton lost her cool, "Your daughter is merely a pawn for Rambaldi's greatest work. Nothing more than a vessel who will give birth to Milo Rambaldi' successor."

"So why question her about Nadia Santos? She was taken off life support several months ago. There was no cure for the Rambaldi infection."

"Your whore of a daughter must not be allowed to raise this child, neither should the Passenger. We know that Santos is alive and must be eliminated. Only one of the Derevko line will survive."

Jack leapt up, not wanting to allow Peyton to insult his daughter in such a manner. He quickly regained his self-control, keeping her from having the upper hand. Calmly and quietly, he asked, "Let's cut through this Rambaldi bullshit. Where is my daughter being held?"

Peyton stayed mute, so Jack moved behind her. He was not a man prone to violence against women, but after four long hours of nothing, he was done waiting. Without warning he grabbed her right arm and pulled it back; with his free hand, he put pressure on her shoulder. He pressed her close to the table and leaned in.

"How long do you think it will take before the bone snaps?" he asked.

"You think you frighten me? Koehlinski has done far worse than you could ever dream!"

In the end, though, it was all talk for Peyton. She broke after her right shoulder and elbow were dislocated. Sydney was being held in Vancouver. Dr. Burris had developed some experimental means of retrieving repressed or hidden memories for the mysterious Koehlinski. Now he was using it on Sydney to help them find out where Nadia was.

Jack exited the room, drained. This was never something he liked to do; rather it was something the CIA had forced upon him. Penance for marrying a KGB spy.

Dixon and Elizabeth met him at the door. Jack looked from one to the other and addressed Marcus, "You let her watch?!"

"She's a part of the team, Jack." Dixon had been impressed with Elizabeth's resolve. She hadn't flinched or turned away. In fact, as Jack had finished, she'd leapt to the door, intent on getting to his side.

Jack stalked away from the pair. Rationally, he knew Elizabeth had heard about the things he'd done over the years. But that was different from her actually seeing him in action."

"Jack!" He heard her calling him, but didn't stop until he reached his office. He hit the automatic blinds and stood in the middle of the room, clenching his fists. His anger over Elizabeth's viewing of the interrogation was overshadowed by his concern from Sydney. He needed to focus on a plan to recover his daughter.

He heard the door open and a faint waft of perfume told him it was Elizabeth. She cam up behind him and slipped her arms around him.

"I can't do this right now," he said softly. "I need to find Sydney."

"All right. What's the plan?" She pulled away and faced him. While she was a little stung by his reaction, she understood what his priorities were.

Jack didn't answer. His fists were still clenched and every muscle in his body was tense. Elizabeth took his hand, "Jack?"

"I just wish it would _STOP_!" he burst out.

She could see how tight a rein he was struggling to keep on his emotions. But everyone reaches their breaking point and this was Jack's. Without hesitation, Elizabeth took him in her arms again. He had to release his bottled up frustration, needed someone to comfort _him_ for once.

Jack's breathing was shallow and uneven. Elizabeth realized he was on the verge of a panic attack. Gently, she steered him to a chair.

"Slow, deep breaths," she ordered as she rubbed his back. "Everything's going to be all right. Sydney and the baby will be fine; they have to be with you watching out for them."

In no time, he was able to focus back on the situation. Elizabeth's soothing voice and hands a balm to his shattered heart. He sat quietly for several minutes; his mind was sifting through a multitude of options, some more viable than others. At last, his troubled mind landed on a plausible game plan.

"Tell the team to meet me in the conference room in 15 minutes."

"Here is an approximate layout of the building Marshall has rendered for us," Jack explained. "A triangular-shaped ski chalet, one floor with a basement, three major hallways that run to the apex where there is a set of stairs. We believe that Sydney is being held in the basement lab.

"Although it is a small space, I expect a large contingent of followers. We'll have three teams of seven inside the building and teams of five outside covering each of the sides.

"We'll converge on the staircase, check any and all rooms for Sydney or evidence against Prophet Five. We are looking specifically for these two members of the group." Joseph Erhman and Dr. Burris' pictures flashed on the screen. "However, no one is to escape our custody. Rambaldi followers are fanatics; we can't risk them forming a new cult.

"Leading the interior teams are myself, Agent Dixon, and Agent Grace. Here are your assignments; see your team leader for details. Wheels up in 90 minutes."

Jack met with Elizabeth privately. "You're using the same plan that we tried in Prague while attacking the Commune," she noted.

"Yes, but with much more man and fire power. You know, Elizabeth, you don't have to be a part of this operation. Particularly after the last one I dragged you on." He still felt guilty over not protecting her from Benjamin Masari.

"Jack, you and I both know how dangerous this business can be. I don't have any regrets about working with you. Now let's get ourselves ready."

He leaned over and placed a quick peck on her lips. "Thank you."

They landed in Vancouver around 6pm. It was pitch black as the teams approached the seemingly abandoned ski chalet. The perimeter teams took their positions while the three lead teams made their way to the building.

Once inside, they used their tranq guns to take out the opposition, systematically checking rooms as they went. Toward the end of Jack's hall, he saw a door open and a man exit.

"Federal agents, freeze!" he shouted.

The man turned into the light and Jack immediately recognized him. Unfortunately, he was too far away for the tranq to hit Dr. Burris. Jack charged up the hallway, yelling for his team to continue searching.

Behind him, Elizabeth had also identified Dr. Burris. She followed Jack as he chased Burris. They cornered him at the stairs, frantically trying to unlock the door to the basement.

"Where is my daughter?"

With two guns pointed at his head, the man didn't hesitate, "Down the stairs, on the left."

"Any other security devices?" Elizabeth asked.

"None." _It wasn't needed_, Burris thought, _Not with Koehlinski on the premises_.

"Open it," commanded Jack. Burris punched in the code and Jack pulled the trigger. The other man was out almost instantaneously.

Jack and Elizabeth ran full tilt down toward the lab. Inside, they found Sydney standing upright, but immobile; her arms, legs, and torso surrounded by metal clamps. She was clearly drugged.

"We're going to get you out of here, sweetheart," Jack murmured as he struggled with the clamps.

Elizabeth found the mechanism that controlled the clamps. She activated it and Sydney slumped into her father's arms. Tenderly, he lowered her down and began tapping her face in an attempt to revive her.

"Come on, sweetheart. Time to wake up. That's it," he encouraged as her eyes started to open. They needed her to at least be conscious as they made their way back out of the compound.

"Dad?"

"It's all right. We're going home not."

Sydney flung her arms around Jack. He levered them both off the floor, intent on getting the hell out of there. As he turned, Jack took in another horrifying sight. Irina Derevko had a knife to Elizabeth's throat.

"I don't think anyone will be leaving quite yet."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"You bitch!" snarled Jack.

"Careful, Jack. I've got a knife aimed at your paramour's lovely neck. You wouldn't want me to slip, would you?" Irina taunted.

"Why would you do this? Sydney is your daughter! I thought you at least cared about _her_!" Jack really didn't care about her motives; he only wanted to keep her talking so he could form a plan.

"Milo Rambaldi's reincarnation must be raised by true believers. The only way was to ensure that both parents were dead and no other part of the line survived."

"Surely you must have known we'd come after Sydney? That wouldn't rest until her kidnappers were found and destroyed?"

"Koehlinski does not care for the plans of others. Only Rambaldi matters . . ."

Irina kept up a rambling diatribe on the Rambaldi legend. Meanwhile, Jack continued to steady Sydney, reeling with Irina's unveiling of her code name. He frantically searched for a way out of this situation. His only solution was the 9mm he had tucked behind his back; a last resort he'd given himself.

Now he'd have to be exceptionally careful with his shot. Elizabeth was only slightly shorter than Irina and Irina kept moving them both. Jack shifted slightly, wanting Sydney to take more of her own weight. As she did, he subtly moved his left arm behind his back, reaching for the gun.

He caught Elizabeth's eye and began blinking rapidly, praying she'd get the message: _Drop your weight_. He saw comprehension dawn on her face when she realized what he was doing.

"You understand, don't you? Jack?" Irina was looking at him now.

"I'll never understand how I fell in love with a psychopath like you. Now!" Jack yelled to Elizabeth.

She rammed an elbow into Irina's stomach. As Elizabeth dropped, she felt the sting of the knife but the pressure quickly eased. Jack had whipped the gun from behind his back and pulled the trigger. He had an eerie sense of déja vu as the bullet pierced Irina's forehead, directly between her eyes.

Jack didn't hesitate as he pulled Sydney toward Elizabeth. Elizabeth was on her feet and ready to help get Sydney out of there. They hadn't taken more than a few steps before Sydney let out a low moan.

"What is it, sweetheart?" concern laced Jack's voice.

"I think . . . I think I'm . . . going . . . into labor," Sydney panted. "I've been having . . . contractions . . . all day."

"Damn it!" He looked around for someplace comfortable for Sydney to lie down.

"There's a bed in here, Jack," Elizabeth called from a small room behind the lab. She found a few towels and ran some hot water as Jack positioned Sydney on the bed.

The two older agents exchanged a look. They both trained as field med techs, but that did not include delivering babies. Jack had accompanied Sydney to a few Lamaze classes and had a working knowledge of what could be expected. Elizabeth had been at the delivery of her niece, but that was almost 20 years ago.

Jack sat by Sydney's head while Elizabeth stared at him. "I think it's best for everyone involved if I stay up here," he said, dryly.

"Me too," Sydney said through several gasps for breath.

"You're out numbered. Go scrub up."

"The things I do for you," Elizabeth huffed.

Jack whispered soothing words to his daughter as the pain hit her in waves. Elizabeth gave encouraging updates as the head and shoulders appeared. At last Elizabeth had the wriggling, crying baby in her arms.

"Congratulations! You have a son!" she exclaimed.

Jack kissed Sydney's temple. "What's his name?"

"Johnathon Michael." Sydney took her now clean son and cradled him, cooing.

Jack kissed her again and moved away, his emotions in turmoil. Sydney had named her son after him; he was in awe. Elizabeth came to his side and squeezed his hand.

"He's as handsome as his grandfather," she whispered.

He felt the tips of his ears get warm. "Thank you for helping. I don't think I could have done this without you." As Jack looked at her, he finally noticed the long, but shallow cut across her neck. His eyes turned cold, "Did Irina do that?" he motioned.

"It's fine. I'm fine, nothing to worry about."

Just then, Jack's earpiece crackled. "Beta Team Leader to all agents," Dixon's voice came through, "the building is now secure. We could use assistance in clearing multiple unconscious Prophet Five personnel.

"Beta Team Leader to Alpha Team Leader. Where the hell are you?"

"Dixon, follow the stairs down to the basement. We're in a lab with Sydney. We need the paramedics and have someone call ahead to the hospital to her OB/GYN," ordered Jack.

"Is Sydney in labor?"

"We're a little beyond that . . ."

Dixon appeared in the doorway. "Congratulations!" He slapped Jack on the back as he saw the bundle in Sydney's arms.

The paramedics examined Sydney and the baby, then hustled them to a waiting helicopter. With all the equipment, there was only room for one more person.

"Dad," Sydney reached for his hand.

"I'm coming sweetheart." Jack looked for Elizabeth, "I've got to go."

"I'll meet you at the hospital. Go, be with your daughter and grandson."

He leaned in for a quick kiss, "Thank you again. Come find us after you get taken care of."

It was late before Elizabeth managed to get to Jack and Sydney. When she got to their hospital room, Sydney was fast asleep. Jack was holding his namesake and, to her amazement, singing softly.

"_Quietly while you were asleep_

_The moon and I were talking_

_I asked that she'd always keep you protected_

_She promised you her light_

_That you so gracefully carry_

_You bring your light and shine like morning_

_And the wind pulls the clouds across the moon_

_Your light fills the darkest room_

_And I can see the miracle_

_That keeps us from falling_

_She promised all the sweetest gifts_

_That only the heavens could bestow_

_You bring your light and shine like morning_

_And as you so gracefully give_

_Her light as long as you live_

_I'll always remember this moment_"

"That was beautiful," she said as Jack finished.

Jack looked up in surprise. He hadn't intended for anyone to hear him and was slightly embarrassed. "He was fussy. I didn't want him to wake Sydney." He placed Johnathon Michael in his bassinet.

"How are they doing?"

"They're both perfect. The drug that Burris was using had no lasting effects on either of them. It didn't even reach JM's bloodstream."

"JM?" Elizabeth asked, amused.

"Well, Johnathon Michael is a big name for such a little guy . . ." Jack looked at the baby affectionately. Then his gaze flicked to Elizabeth's neck. "Are _you _ok?"

"Just a scratch; they didn't even need to cover it, see?" She opened her collar to show him.

He ran his hand over the wound lightly. "I'm sorry Irina hurt you."

She took his hand and held it to her lips. "It's far less than how badly she's hurt _you_. We're all in one piece, that's what really matters."

Sydney's eyes fluttered open just then. "Dad? Elizabeth? You're still here? Go home, get some rest."

"Are you sure, sweetheart? What about the baby?"

"We'll be fine, Dad. A lot of sleeping and eating is all that you'll miss," she smiled. "Those are two things that both of you should be doing."

"If you're sure . . ."

"I'm positive. And Elizabeth, thank you," she added as the older woman hugged her. Quietly, Sydney added, "Take care of him?"

"Of course."

Jack leaned over to kiss Sydney's cheek. "I love you. Both of you," he nodded to the crib.

"I love you, too. Now get out of here and let me rest," she chided.

He gathered his things and before leaving kissed his grandson's forehead softly. Jack took Elizabeth's headed for his apartment.

**Author's Note: **The song Jack sang was _The Sweetest Gift_ from the album _Unexpected Dreams: Songs From the Stars_. It's sung on this album by Ewan MacGregor, though originally it was done by Sade. Anyway, standard disclaimers apply.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Back at Jack's apartment, Elizabeth insisted on whipping up another quick dinner while Jack showered. He came out wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. They ate in silence, Jack quiet even for him.

Elizabeth let him have his space, knowing that the adrenaline had worn off. Now she could see that he was processing everything that happened. It didn't take long for his face to tighten in anger and remain that way for the rest of the meal.

After they'd taken their last bite, Elizabeth led Jack to the couch. She wanted to comfort him, reassure him. She knew how his mind worked and right now he was feeling extraordinarily guilty.

Jack was tense when she took his hand. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I . . ." he swallowed hard. "I came so close to losing everything. Sydney, the baby . . . you. I'm so tired of seeing the people I love get hurt."

Elizabeth froze, but Jack didn't seem to realize what his words implied. A part of her heart had always belonged to him, but she'd never been sure of his feelings. While he'd always been more than friends, he'd never said those three little words.

"Sydney has suffered so much thanks to me. If I had been a better father to her when she was a child, she wouldn't have been recruited to SD-6." He continued, "I could have saved her so much grief. And in just the past two months, you've had your hand shot and your neck slit, all because of me."

"You and Sydney are close now; she loves you. Have bad things happened to her? Yes. Could they have been prevented? Possibly. But Sydney relies on you. Especially now with Johnathon Michael. She'll need your help."

"Why in the world would she need my help? Sydney is smarter than to ask _me_ for parental advice."

"Sure she would. She's a single parent and agent like you were. You can help her make better decisions than you did." Elizabeth brushed off her injuries by not speaking of them.

"How do you always know the right thing to say?"

"I don't. Just ask Joseph," she chuckled mirthlessly.

"You two are complete opposites. I never understood why you were with him."

"No?"

"No."

"It was because I couldn't be with you, Jack."

He would never fathom what she saw in him. Why did she keep coming back to him? All he did was hurt her, starting with his marriage to Irina. Jack had come to realize how upset Elizabeth had been when he'd married.

Their relationship had had its ups and downs, but he'd consistently managed to push her away, to hurt her. He thought she'd gotten over him after his failed attempt at sobriety. They were friends; now Jack was surprised to hear her admit she'd been carrying a torch for him all these years.

Jack gave voice to his thoughts, "Why in God's name would you ever want to be with me?"

"You were the first man I fell in love with. I suppose my heart never disengaged. Even when my head told me otherwise." Elizabeth could see the disbelief written on Jack's face, "You have been my best friend. Despite not seeing you for long stretches of time, we always stayed in touch. I shared everything with you."

"That's more due to your insistence in writing."

"But you didn't have to answer me. Your loyalty and affection kept you writing. And I was glad that I could still count you as a friend."

Jack looked guilty now. "I didn't treat you like a friend; I never treated you like you deserved. Then you tried to help me, I treated you like shit."

"You were still in mourning. Your daughter wasn't speaking to you. The CIA was forcing you to commit horrible deeds in the name of patriotism and restitution. I don't blame you for not being able to handle a relationship.

"I'm not saying I wasn't hurt, but I understand where you were coming from. That's why I eventually moved on with Joseph. Although I think he knew he wasn't the one."

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I thought about you after you went back to England. I had hoped that we could've had a life together but you never said anything."

"Neither did you."

"I tried to," Jack protested, "after _Casablanca_. Do you remember? We were . . . disturbed, had to go back to HQ."

Elizabeth thought back. She did recall the date in question. Jack had seemed so anxious to tell her something. And then an agent had interrupted the moment. Something so insignificant at the time had changed the course of their lives.

"I was still getting over you when Irina approached me. I was more vulnerable than I realized, and lonely. I missed you."

With tears in her eyes, Elizabeth embraced Jack. "I wish things could have been different. I should have told you how I felt, maybe then . . ."

"You have always been the one constant in my life. You never stopped talking to me, even when you probably should have written me off for good. I would either be dead or insane right now without you in my life. You saved me from myself," Jack put his arms around Elizabeth, tentatively returning her embrace.

She tilted her head to look at him curiously. "Why did you finally stop drinking?"

"When you walked out that night despite being hurt, I became aware of what I was losing. You were the last person who was still talking to me that I actually cared about. Sydney was lost to me by that point. You were the only friend I had and I screwed it up.

"That night, I stopped drinking. I didn't touch another drop of alcohol until the day I found out Irina Derevko was still alive. When Sydney found me that afternoon at a bar, I promised myself that I would never become the man I was when she was a child.

"I have you to thank for that." He stroked her silky hair.

They stayed like that until Jack felt his eyelids grow heavy. A glance at Elizabeth showed that she was already asleep. Quietly, he picked her up and carried her to his bed. He curled up behind her, his arm around her waist. He dropped a light kiss on her check and whispered, "I love you."

The next few days became routine for them: visit with Sydney and JM in the morning; work at APO in the afternoon, dinner and conversation in the evening. The doctors had decided to keep Sydney and the baby for a week, just to make sure they were both truly healthy.

APO staffers were planning a combination Welcome Home Party/Baby Shower when they weren't busy tracking movements of Prophet Five members. They were searching, in particular, for Joseph Ehrmann. He and Arvin Sloane had dropped out of sight just before Sydney's abduction. Jack knew that neither Sydney nor Nadia would be safe with any Rambaldi acolytes still roaming free.

Two days before Sydney was scheduled to be released, Marshall saw some unusual chatter coming over the satellite transmission. The words _prophesy_, _Chosen One_, and _baby_ struck him as being noteworthy. The transmission appeared to originate in Uzbekistan, though it had been pinged through several locations. Since there had been Sloane in the country, a team was assembled to go after the two men.

With Prophet Five scattered across the continents, Jack felt that only a few agents were needed. He wanted Elizabeth to stay in LA and had a hell of a time convincing her.

"A four man team will be sufficient. I don't want you risking your life again. Stay with Sydney and JM; help them get settled in if I'm not back. Please, do this for me."

"Jack . . ." Elizabeth wanted to protest some more, but when she saw the look on his face, she relented. "Fine. I'll stay and watch Sydney. Just promise me you'll come back in one piece."

"Of course, " he replied.

A few hours later, Elizabeth saw the team off. Before Jack boarded, she kissed him thoroughly. He was a little taken aback, not used to public displays of affection. She didn't pull away until she admonished him, "Remember, you promised me."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"What is it with these Rambaldi freaks and dance clubs?" Tom asked, sarcastically.

"Maybe the prophecy entails teaching you white boys how to dance," returned Dixon.

They had traced Sloane and possibly Erhmann to a discotheque in Nurata. Apparently they were hole up in the basement, plotting their next move. Tom, Dixon, Weiss, and Jack were simply going to snatch the two men and bring them back for questioning. If there was any resistance, the orders were shoot to kill.

Jack was on edge. Something was telling him they were underestimating their position. Despite his prior assertion that four men would be enough, he was feeling uneasy as they approached the basement. He went in first, allowing the others to cover him.

At first he saw nothing; he motioned for the team to follow. When Jack turned back, he felt something collide with his gun arm. A second later he heard the sickening crack that told him that his should had been separated. Somehow, though, he maintained his grip on his gun.

Dropping into a crouch, he tried to locate his attacker. Seeing movement out of the corner of his eye, Jack swung his weapon in that direction and fired off two rounds. Dixon, Tom, and Weiss rushed in, guns brandished, but Jack was already on his feet, chasing an injured Arvin Sloane.

Tom and Weiss headed to the left, in search of Erhmann. Dixon followed after Jack, hoping to get to Sloane before Jack killed him.

Rounding the corner, he found Jack kicking the shit out of Arvin. Jack was bleeding from the mouth and nose and had a cut above his right eye. Though his arm hung at an odd angle, he still clutched his gun. Dixon hurried over when it appeared that Jack had no intentions of stopping his brutal attack. Dixon could hear him muttering under his breath, "Bastard! Hurt my daughter, my grandson! _Your_ daughter for Christ's sake! Dragging Elizabeth into this! I'll see you dead!"

"Jack! JACK!" Dixon grabbed his uninjured arm. "We've got him. Go see the medics."

When Jack moved away, Dixon got a good look at the damage he's inflicted on Sloane. His face was a bloody mess and it appeared that Jack had stomped on Arvin's left hand; Dixon surmised from his breathing and the force of Jack's kicks that he also had several broken ribs.

He hauled Sloane over his should and fireman-carried him back to the rendezvous point, not caring if he caused him any more pain. When Dixon arrived, he could see that Tom and Weiss had also met with success. Though their quarry wasn't quite as damaged, Erhmann was nevertheless handcuffed and unconscious.

Jack looked grim as he was tended to. The medic asked him if he wanted any pain medication before he set his shoulder.

Jack shook his head, "Just do it."

The medic shifted his weight and pulled the shoulder gently into place. Jack grunted, but made no other sound. The medic then tucked his arm into a sling.

The medics then did quick work-up of the two prisoners. They decided to keep them sedated for the long flight, ensuring a quieter and safer trip.

With traveling over the International Date Line twice, Jack's internal time clock was decidedly messed up. He was tired, testy, and in pain. All he wanted was to go home and rest.

Elizabeth met them at the airfield along with a squad of agents ready to take the prisoners into custody. With crimes they committed, there was no doubt that both men would spend the rest of their lives in jail, _if_ they weren't executed.

Elizabeth grabbed hold of Jack as he exited the plane. He winced as she gripped him tightly. He'd taken off the sling as soon as he was out of the medic's sight, so she couldn't have realized the extent of his injuries.

"Are you all right, Jack?" She ran her hands over his face, trying to reassure herself that was indeed in one piece. All she had been told was Jack had sustained some injuries.

"I'm fine. Nothing major, just a few cuts and bruises," though he let a small groan escape when he shifted out of her embrace.

"And a separated shoulder," Dixon threw in.

"Where's your sling?" she demanded.

"I took it off."

She could tell he wasn't in the mood to discuss it. "Fine. Let's go home."

Back at his apartment, Elizabeth helped him unpack, suggesting he shower before they ate. Jack merely grunted one or two word responses, but did hop in the shower. The hot water was magic on his sore muscles.

Elizabeth's concern went beyond Jack's injuries. She couldn't understand his reticence in talking to her. She thought they'd gotten past that.

They ate their meal in silence, Jack unwilling to speak with Elizabeth. It wasn't until they got in bed that she challenged him.

"What is going on, Jack? What happened in Uzbekistan? Or have _I_ done something?"

He started to roll away, but she pulled him back. "What do you want from me? I had a shitty mission! Can't you leave it at that?"

"It's more that a bad mission and you know it. What the hell happened, Jack?"

He pulled away again, putting his feet on the floor. At first Elizabeth though he was going to leave the room and not answer her. But the he started to speak, so softly that she almost couldn't hear him.

"You should leave. Go back to England. I'll only cause you more pain."

"I am _not_ leaving you again! How many times and in how many different ways can I tell you I love you! What has changed in the last two days?"

Jack flashed to the basement room where he'd caught up with Arvin:

He was caught by surprise when Arvin lashed out with a couple of quick jabs. Jack grabbed him by the throat, shoving him against the wall.

"_Give me one reason not to choke the life out of you right here," Jack growled._

"_Mpfm grvm."_

_Jack released his grip marginally._

"_Joseph Spencer."_

"_Who?" Jack tried to mask his surprise at hearing the name._

"_Don't play dumb, Jack. You know he's Elizabeth Powell's ex. And I know she's staying with you." Sloane's sibilant voice hissed in the semi-darkness._

_This time Jack didn't try to hide his rage at having Elizabeth dragged into his affairs. "Leave Elizabeth out of this, Arvin. What do you want?"_

"_Mr. Spencer was kind enough to share a list of places his ex-lover had visited over the last year. While she was in Lima, she recovered an artifact of Rambaldi's being held by an associate of mine._

"_Let's just say that my associate is none too pleased with your lady friend. Rambaldi's legacy must be realized. With Sydney and Nadia still alive and the artifact in the wrong hands, it can never happen. _

"_If I am given the death penalty, Mr. Spencer has a way of contacting my associate, who will, in turn, begin a manhunt for both your daughter and your lover. They won't rest until both are dead."_

_Jack had had enough; he hauled off and punched him several times in the face before throwing the smaller man to the ground, kicking him viciously._

"Jack?" Elizabeth touched his shoulder. "Where'd you go?"

"Can't you leave it alone?!" His fury at Sloane exploded at her. Jack was terrified for both Elizabeth and Sydney. He didn't doubt the little troll still had underground contacts that could harm the women he loved.

Jack was in a quandary. Arvin Sloane deserved to die for the crimes he'd committed. But if Sloane died then Sydney and Elizabeth would be in danger.

"Why are you so angry?"

"Why am I angry? I'm angry because every time I think I've made progress in ridding the world of Rambaldi freaks, something else pops up to bite me on the ass. All I've ever wanted was for Sydney to be safe. Somehow I've always managed to fuck that up. And now I've put you in danger, too!

"Just go back to England. You'll be better off without me ruining your life," his shoulders heaved with exertion.

Elizabeth moved off the bed to kneel in front of him. She placed her hands on his knees and rubbed his thighs gently. "I don't know what Arvin Sloane said to you, but nothing is going to make me leave you. I made that mistake once. Whatever happens, we can face it together."

"How did you know?"

"Did you beat any _other_ Rambaldi followers to a pulp in the last 48 hours?"

Jack rolled his eyes; her dry sense of humor matched his own at times. "What do you suggest?" He was calmer now, more rational; Elizabeth soothing hands helped to relax him.

"Well, it would probably be helpful if you told me exactly what Sloane told you."

Jack gave her the condensed version, leaving out some of the details. Including the fact that Joseph Spencer had been responsible for giving Sloane the list of her whereabouts.

"Do you know who Sloane's associate is?"

"No, only that it's someone you would have had contact with in Lima during the past year."

Elizabeth thought hard, but was unable to recall the name of anyone in particular from that mission. It had just been a grab and go. "I'll contact my superior at MI-6, I'm sure he can assist us," she paused an added, "How did Sloane know I was in Peru this year?"

When Jack wouldn't meet her eyes, she realized that he'd left something out. "Who told Sloane where I'd been?" she insisted.

"Joseph," he relented, quietly.

"But why?" Elizabeth was utterly perplexed.

"I'm not sure, other than being duped by you. I'm only thinking in his terms," he clarified at her look of resentment. "Why don't you contact MI-6? If we can identify this man, I'll lead a team to take him out."

She nodded and dialed her cell phone. "I won't be left behind on this one, Jack."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Thirty-six hours later, they were in Nicaragua. MI-6 had been keeping tabs on Juan Carlos Menendez after he'd been discovered in position of a Rambaldi artifact and they were able to easily track him down. Jack and Elizabeth had arranged to meet with him at a local open-air restaurant.

Menendez was already seated when Elizabeth took the chair next to him. She took by surprise when aimed her gun at his crotch. Jack sat down across from him.

"What is this?" the man sputtered.

"Unless you want to be pissing through a catheter the rest of your life, you'll answer our questions without making a scene," Jack threatened.

"What do you want to know?"

"Your deal with Arvin Sloane, who else knows about it?" asked Elizabeth.

"Sloane? I don't . . ."

Elizabeth cocked her gun.

"Alright! I haven't told anyone. Mr. Sloane told me to wait for Mr. Spencer to contact me before I should for a team."

"Were there any secondary measure for Mr. Spencer to take, a second-in-command for him to contact?" Jack wanted to know.

"No, nothing like that. He was only to contact me. Now, are we done?" Menendez blustered.

"Absolutely." Jack moved quickly, using the butt of his gun to know the man unconscious.

Elizabeth and Jack each go under one of Menedez's shoulders. They managed to get him to the plane, telling concerned patrons, "Ebrio." Elderly women shook their heads in disgust. Once on the plane, he began to stir and Jack took the opportunity to elbow the man's temple again, ensuring a hassle free flight. He then buckled him in, handcuffing his wrists and ankles.

As their flight took off, Elizabeth said, "Well that was painless."

"Speak for yourself."

"You didn't have to hit him again, Jack. Your arm hasn't even begun to heal and you're here taking out criminals," Elizabeth masked her concern with humor.

"I'm fine."

Elizabeth could feel him withdrawing again and she wasn't going to stand for it. Jack _was_ retreating; he hated that Elizabeth had seen his more violent side. It was bad enough that she'd been with him on several missions and seen his temper flare but he'd been even more horrified by her observing his interrogation of Kelly Peyton.

He was jerked back to the present when Elizabeth lay a hand on his injured shoulder, rubbing it gently. "Don't go away from me. You're thinking too hard about this. Tell me what's wrong?"

"I still don't understand how you can want to be with me, how you can love me. Especially after seeing my interrogation techniques."

Elizabeth realized they'd never actually discussed what she'd seen the day he'd questioned Peyton. He had been so angry when he'd seen her at the observation room door; but he'd also been caught up in finding a way to rescue his daughter.

"I've told you before, Jack. I love you because you're a good man. You always try to do the right thing, even if your methods may be flawed."

"Flawed?" he laughed mirthlessly. "That might be the understatement of the year. I'm a monster; you saw what I did to Peyton. And the fact of the matter is that I've done worse."

She had watched Jack during the interrogation. He didn't get pleasure out of torturing that woman. In fact, Elizabeth had seen shame in his eyes. He hated what he was doing, but even Elizabeth knew that it was the only way to get the information.

"Jack," she tried to tug him closer but he resisted. "You are not a monster. You take no satisfaction in the things you do. You know that violence is sometimes necessary, if unpleasant, part of our lives.

"You seem to forget how well I know you. I don't love you any less for the things you've done, because I know that deep inside you are a decent, gentle man who abhors the things he's done."

This time when she pulled him to her, he didn't resist; rather he leaned into her touch. "Thank you," he murmured.

Jack tried to stifle a yawn; the last few days were finally catching up with him and his arm was killing him. Elizabeth helped him lay down with his head in her lap and continued massaging his sore shoulder. When she saw that his eyes had finally shuttered closed, she leaned over and kissed his temple.

Jack was back in Agent Bristow mode as they delivered Juan Carlos into custody. But when they reached his car, Elizabeth grabbed the keys, noting the fatigue etched on his face.

Despite his weariness, the first thing Jack did when they reached his apartment was to call Sydney. When he got off the phone a few minutes later, he was smiling.

"Good news?"

"Sydney and JM are coming home tomorrow."

"That's wonderful. Are you going to pick them up at the hospital?"

"Around ten."

Elizabeth glanced at the clock; it was already after 11. "Let's get to bed, love. You've had a rough couple of days."

He lay awake until he heard her breathing even out and again told her sleeping form what he couldn't while she was awake, "I love you."

The next morning, Jack dressed casually and headed to the hospital. He and Elizabeth stopped at Sydney's apartment to grab the car seat for JM. They unself-consciously entered her hospital room holding hands.

Sydney was waiting for them, holding her son. She smiled as her father approached and kissed her cheek. "I didn't think you owned a pair of jeans," she teased.

He smiled back and hefted JM in his good arm. "How's my boy?" he whispered in the baby's ear. Then he started collecting their things.

The two women embraced and Sydney asked, "Is Dad all right? He looks pretty tired."

"He separated his shoulder, otherwise he's physically fine."

"But emotionally?"

"He's trying to process everything; he hates seeing you in danger. And now he feels even more protective with JM in the picture."

"Dad's opened up to you?" Sydney was surprised, her father was not known for being free with his emotions.

"Yes and no. I know him; we've been friends a long time. And sometimes I can get him to talk; sometimes he just needs me to be there."

Sydney studied the older woman. She could see the emotion in her eyes and hear it in her voice. "You care for my dad, don't you?"

"I do. I've been in love with him for the better part of 40 years," Elizabeth admitted freely.

"If you ladies are done talking about me, we can get moving," Jack interjected.

Sydney suppressed her laughter as she saw her father toting a diaper bag and bottle along with his grandson. "Do you want me to take him?"

"We're all set. Why don't you get yourself in that wheelchair and Elizabeth can wheel you to the car."

JM's first car ride was uneventful save for some fussing the last few blocks. Jack turned and made faces at him, much to Sydney's amusement. Once at her apartment, she fed and put him down for a nap.

As Jack putzed around deciding to put together the highchair, Sydney pulled Elizabeth aside for another chat. "Dad told me a little bit about your first mission, and how you first met. He didn't give me any details, but I got the impression that you were more than friends."

"Your father has been my best friend since we met. And yes, it's been more than platonic on occasion. But for most of the past few decades, all Jack needed was someone to talk to."

"Tell me about him, please. I was furious with him growing up, but I've realized how much he was hurt by Irina."

They sat and Elizabeth gave Sydney the condensed version of her relationship with Jack. She made sure to emphasize the fact that Jack never wanted to hurt his daughter. He had been, still was, afraid of doing the wrong thing because he no longer trusted his instincts.

"I tried to help him get sober, but he couldn't get past his arguments with you."

"But he did stop drinking. Right after my 14th birthday, Dad sat with me and told me that had quit drinking. He apologized for not being there," Sydney teared up as the memories came back to her. "I told him to shove his apology, that it was too late."

As Sydney's tears fell, Elizabeth embraced her. "Jack doesn't blame you. He loves you."

Jack walked by the bedroom ready to brag about his mechanical abilities. Instead he saw the two women. "Sydney, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Dad!" she burst out, throwing herself into his arms.

"For what, sweetheart?" Jack put his arms around her, patting her back.

"For being a brat. I shouldn't have treated you so badly."

"Sydney, you don't have to apologize. I _know_ I wasn't a good father. After Irina was extracted, I couldn't trust myself not to hurt you. In the end that's what I did anyway."

"I _do_ need to say I'm sorry, Dad. Talking with Elizabeth has shown me just a little of what you went through.

"Yes, you hurt me. I was a little girl; I missed mom and I missed you when you went away. The only way I could cope, as I got older was to treat you either like you didn't exist or like shit. It was easier for me that; I couldn't be hurt so badly by someone I didn't care about and who didn't care about me. I mean, you never came to any of the things I did at school!"

Jack was cut to the quick to hear Sydney talk about her childhood. "I _did _care about you. I loved you so much! All I wanted to do was keep you safe."

"I know that now, Dad. But I needed you to be there for me and half the time you were drunk or away."

"I'm not proud of who I was then . . . or for that matter now. One thing I am proud of is you. You've become an extraordinary woman . . . despite having me for a father. I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt you.

"And you may not have seen me, but I was at every important event in your life," he added.

Sydney clutched him to her. "You should have told me."

"When exactly would have been the right time to drop that bit of information into a conversation? Between falling out or during a critical mission?" He meant for his tone to be teasing, but from Sydney's expression he could tell he hadn't succeeded. "It was a joke. Not a good one apparently."

"I don't ever want to go back to the way things used to be. You hurt me the worst when you keep things from me."

"You know I can't tell you everything?" At her nod, Jack continued, "I've tried to be honest with you, but sometimes the parental instinct to protect overrides my scruples.

"Please understand that I never wanted to be an absentee father. I know what that feels like and I vowed that I'd never do that to a child of my own. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through."

"You're here for me now and I'm thankful for that. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last nine months without you. I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too, Sydney. You and JM."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Elizabeth and Jack spent a few more hours with Sydney and JM before heading back to his place. He reminded his daughter to cal him if she needed anything.

As they sat in his living room that evening, Elizabeth rested her head on Jack's shoulder. She sighed contentedly before asking, "Play something for me?"

Jack tried to play dumb, "I don't . . . I haven't played in years."

"You left me alone in your apartment for more than a day, Jack. I saw the piano."

He looked away, sheepishly. Not even Sydney knew that he still played. He kept the baby grand tucked away in his library.

"Please, Jack?"

Heaving a sigh, Jack took her hand and led her to the library. Other than the books stacked on top, there was nothing on the piano. Being self-taught, he had no need for sheet music; he couldn't read it anyway. Jack thought for a few minutes before playing, his gentle baritone joining the melody.

Like the sound of silence calling 

_I hear your voice and suddenly I'm falling_

_Lost in a dream_

_Like the echoes of our souls are meeting_

_You say those words, my heart stops beating_

_I wonder what it means_

_What could it be that comes over me_

_At times I can't move_

_At times I can hardly breathe_

_When you say you love me_

_The world goes still, so still inside and_

_When you say you love me_

_For a moment there's no one else alive_

_You're the one I've always thought of_

_I don't know how but I feel sheltered in your love_

_And when you're with me if I close my eyes_

_There are times I swear I feel like I can fly_

_For a moment in time_

_Somewhere between_

_The heavens and earth_

_I'm frozen in time_

_Oh when you say those words_

_When you say you love me_

_The world goes still so still inside and_

_When you say you love me_

_For a moment there's no one else alive_

_And this journey that we're on_

_How far we've come and I_

_Celebrate every moment_

_When you say you love me_

_That's all you have to say_

_I'll always feel this way_

_When you say you love me_

_The world goes still so still inside and_

_When you say you love me_

_For a moment there's no one else alive_

_When you say you love me_

_Do you know how I love you_

Elizabeth felt the tears spill down her cheeks as Jack finished. He hadn't looked at her as he played; now he met her eyes in expectation.

"That was exquisite. Thank you, Jack." She made no mention of his apparent declaration, hoping he understood her gratitude included his willingness to share his feelings.

He stood and used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "I'm glad you liked it. But I didn't mean to make you cry."

She dropped a light kiss on his lips. "It was perfect," she paused, "I'm going to shower, then I'll meet you in bed."

Jack blushed at the subtle invitation and stared at her retreating form. He quickly tidied up the library and kitchen while the shower ran. Then he headed to his room to change.

Elizabeth made her way to the bedroom and stopped in the doorway. Jack had just pulled on his pajama bottoms but was still shirtless. She let out an involuntary gasp as she digested the myriad of scars crisscrossing his back and torso.

He looked up at the small sound; he smiled when he saw her in the doorway wearing one of his dress shirts. Jack's face fell when he took in the appalled expression on Elizabeth's face.

"Oh God, Jack! What the hell happened to you?" She crossed the room to stand beside him.

Jack was used to living with the reminders of missions gone wrong. He never gave a thought to other people's reactions; no one other than agency physicians had seen the extent of the damage done to him. A multitude of gunshot and knife wounds, along with a few burn marks attested to his almost 40 years of service to the CIA.

He grabbed his shirt and was ready to pull it on when he felt Elizabeth's hands on his back. She ran them over the scars reverently, occasionally placing an open-mouthed kiss here and there. Jack shuddered and allowed her to explore his body.

She slowly circled him until they face one another. Elizabeth put both hands on his chest, content to feel his heart beating and enjoyed how it sped up almost imperceptibly at her touch.

Jack stared at her before cupping her cheeks and kissing her deeply. Elizabeth moaned her pleasure. He pulled away slightly, fingering the top button on her shirt. He slid the back of his hand along the scar that now marred her neck.

He placed a few of his own open-mouthed kisses on her slender neck. Jack searched Elizabeth's eyes for permission before opening the buttons on her shirt. He pushed it off her shoulders and stared in awe at her nude form.

And suddenly it hit him: how much he owed this wonderful woman. She had kept him sane during a period in his life when he'd been completely ostracized. She had accepted him without doubt or question and he was humbled.

Jack dropped to his knees and buried his face in Elizabeth's stomach. Somewhat confused, she ran her hands through his hair.

"Jack, sweetheart, what is it?" She felt the tears on her skin.

He took a few deep breaths before pushing himself to his feet and away from her. "I don't deserve you. You've been my friend for so long and I'm not worthy of even half of what you've given me. I've never come close to giving you what _you_ deserve."

"I don't know what's come over you. All I've ever wanted from you was to be your friend, to be a part of your life because I love you. I've never asked you for anything more than you could give me. But you, you think you need to . . . sacrifice yourself to me. I've only ever wanted to make you happy, to have your love!" Elizabeth was exasperated by Jack's self-loathing.

"You do make me happy, more than I thought I could be after Irina left. I'm grateful for everything you've done for me. And you do have my love," he added, "From the beginning, since the day you tried to help me reconnect with Sydney, through these years apart. I love you."

Elizabeth went weak in the knees. She had longed to hear those words from Jack but had stopped hoping many years ago. This was the first time he had said the words as plainly as he could. Still naked, she sank to the bed, tears streaming from her eyes.

Jack sat next to her and began kissing away those tears. "I should have told you before now. But I'm a coward; you're the only one I've trusted with my feelings other than Sydney. I . . . I didn't want to lose . . ."

She cut him off by sealing her lips over his. They fell back onto the bed, Jack's hand entwined in Elizabeth's short locks. She could feel his erection pressing against her thigh. Grinning wickedly, she slipped her hand beneath the waistband of his pants.

Groaning at the intimate contact, Jack began some exploration of his own. Taking his mouth from hers, he latched onto her nipple. His hands weren't idle either; one traced a path from the hollow of her throat to the cleft between her thighs.

In her pleasure, Elizabeth gripped him tighter. Jack took his mouth off her long enough to say, "Keep that up and I'm going to come in my shorts like a teenager."

She released him and allowed him to have his way with her. Quickly, Jack lowered his head between her legs, suckling on the nubbin of flesh at the apex of her thighs. It wasn't long before he had Elizabeth praising all manner of deities and saints.

"Better than I remembered," she said when she was able to speak.

Jack had a small smile on his face. "Still delicious," he teased.

"I want you inside me, now. It's been far too long." She looked at him hungrily as he shimmied out of his pajama bottoms.

Then he was inside her, moving in long, languorous strokes. When he felt himself getting close, he flipped them over so Elizabeth was on top controlling the pace. She sped up, feeling her release approach. As she felt him erupt, her own orgasm overtook her.

"Not bad for a grandfather, huh?" Jack asked as his breathing returned to normal.

"You were brilliant, love," she brushed his matted hair off his forehead. "I've missed this."

Jack searched her eyes, "Making love?"

"No . . . yes . . . Yes, I've missed making love with you, but I'm talking about being this close. Not worrying about a mission or Joseph or Sydney. Simply being us."

Jack kissed her, "I know I haven't felt this relaxed in years. I love you so much, for everything you've done for me." He tugged the bedspread over them.

They curled up together, completely content for the first time in decades.

Jack and Elizabeth were late getting into APO the next morning. They were greeted by Dixon who had some disturbing news for them.

"Erhmann and Sloane claim that the Rambaldi Prophesy is about to be fulfilled. They say they have high level operative ready to expose the 'Final Agenda' of Milo Rambaldi."

"Who are these operatives? Or do you think this might be a bluff on their part?" asked Jack.

"I'm no expert in Rambaldi; I'm not sure. That's why I wanted you to talk to them," Dixon replied.

Jack nodded. He would see Erhmann first as he wasn't sure he wouldn't beat Sloane to a pulp on sight. He'd try to make this interrogation more civil than the last one Elizabeth witnessed.

He sat down across from Erhmann and began without preamble. "I've been informed that there is more to Rambaldi's end game. Would you like to share?"

Erhmann cocked his head, "Why would an atheist like you be interested?"

"Call it curiosity or call it a matter of national security. I just want to know."

"Within a fortnight, the greatest among us shall treble her powers. Family will come to her aide and render the Final Agenda into completion."

"Would you care to translate that for us?"

"If you fools can't determine the truth when it's right in front of you . . . The devout will not divulge the secrets to non-believers."

Jack stood abruptly and left the room. All sessions were recorded and he was sure that Marshall was already attempting to decode the message. He now entered Sloane's holding room.

"Have you thought any more about our deal, Jack?"

"That _negotiation_," he spat the word, "is no longer valid, Arvin. Juan Carlos is in our custody. Now, you had better start talking. Explain this Final Agenda."

Sloane looked a little disconcerted at the news about Menendez. He recovered quickly, though. "Rambaldi will rise again. He will be cared for by the true believers, the sisters. All others must be sacrificed.

"Don't you see, Jack? Sydney and Nadia have played their parts. It's time for the child to play his."

With the threat to his grandson, Jack lost his temper. He punched Arvin and was satisfied to hear bones crunch. He left the little man clutching his face as blood spurted from his nose. So much for keeping this session civil.

Exiting the room, Jack saw Dixon wasting for him but there was no sign of Elizabeth. "Put a team on Sydney's apartment. I may move her and the baby to my apartment. I have extra security measures in place. Has Marshall come up with anything?"

"I haven't checked with him. Jack . . . have you considered the possibility . . . The wording seems to imply . . ." Dixon didn't want to voice what should have been the impossible.

"What?"

"Treble – three. Sisters, the greatest among them . . . don't you see? The Derevkos, Jack."

"Two are dead and one is in custody. There's another explanation," Jack didn't want to consider any of the Derevkos near JM or Sydney.

"You though Irina was dead before . . ."

"Twice, in fact."

"So the third time's the charm? Come on, Jack! You said that Irina shot Elena. Who's to say that wasn't planned? That they used Sevogda to get Nadia out of the way?"

"What about Vancouver? I shot her; there is no way . . ." Jack started to see the big picture. If all three Derevko women _were_ alive then Sydney and JM were in greater danger than he thought. "Bring Sydney and JM to APO. We'll set up a makeshift living area for them until we can get a handle on the situation."

"Sydney's gonna love this," Dixon muttered under his breath.

Jack ignored this comment. "Where's Elizabeth?"

"She got a call on her cell about 20 minutes ago. I haven't seen her since."

"All right. Let's get some people into a think tank on this. Marshall, Rachel, and Tom should look into the prophecy Erhmann and Sloane keep going on about. When Sydney arrives, she can join you in locating the Derevkos and/or their remains. Elizabeth and I will join you shortly."

With that, Jack went in search of Elizabeth. When he didn't find her in the office, he called her cell but didn't get an answer. Fighting the rising panic within him, Jack sped off to his apartment.

It was with looming dread that he searched the place. Elizabeth's clothes and bag were gone, but her cell was on the kitchen table. Knowing she never went anywhere without it, Jack realized it was a deliberate gesture. Accessing the Incoming Calls menu, he hit send on the last number dialed in.

**Author's Note:** The song Jack sang to Elizabeth was _When You Say You Love Me_ by Josh Groban off the album Closer. I don't own that either!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"You have reached the offices of the British Ambassador to France, how may I direct your call?"

"Sorry, wrong number." Jack ended the call.

It was obvious the Elizabeth had left her phone on purpose; she wanted Jack to know who had called her. But why hadn't she just told him? What did Joseph Spencer have on her that would make her up and leave without a word?

He accessed her outgoing calls now; desperate for any clue as to where she was going. He hit the send button again. This time he reached a voice message from Elizabeth.

"_Jack, love, Joseph has threatened to expose me as an MI-6 agent. He also is willing to name my immediate family members. I agreed to meet with him alone. He believes I haven't contacted anyone._

"_I'm sorry to burden you with this when there's still a threat from Rambaldi, but I can't allow my family to be harmed because of me. I know you understand._

"_I told you where I grew up. If you can make it, I'll see you soon. I'll understand if you can't come._"

Jack's head was spinning. Why now? Why would Joseph make a power play on his own, no orders from Sloane? And just as the Rambaldi Prophecy was kicking into high gear? The coincidences were staggering.

He made some phone calls, telling Dixon the bare minimum. Then he arranged for the jet to fly into Blackpool and a car to be ready for him to drive to Elizabeth's parents' country cottage. Jack gave Dixon explicit instructions not to come after him unless he hadn't heard from Jack in over 48 hours. He would leave Dixon instructions in a locker in the bus terminal adjacent to the airport.

Jack grabbed his bag, double-checking that he'd packed his guns and a garrôt. Satisfied that he had everything, he made his way to APO's airfield. He was only a few hours behind Elizabeth; he hoped he could make it to her in time.

Twelve hours later, Jack was finally approaching the cottage. He'd left the car a couple of miles down the road, needing any advantage he could conceive of. It wasn't yet six a.m. and the darkness of the early morning helped provide cover as he sidled up to the small building. He noted the helicopter; out of place in the small backyard.

"Who the hell are you?" Jack could hear Elizabeth's voice as he made his way to a window. "And where is Joseph?"

"Ah, yes. My dear, adopted father. He's . . . a bit tied up at the moment."

Jack's skin crawled as he recognized Julian Sark's voice. '_What in God's name is going on?_" He knew he had to be patient; if Sark was involved, there was probably a connection to the Rambaldi Agenda.

"I do, however have two lovely women I'd like you to meet. Ladies . . ."

"Ms. Powell. So glad we could me."

"Elizabeth Powell, Jack's new lover. We should talk sometime, compare notes."

Jack knew both of these voices as well. Anna Espinosa and Katya Derevko. He winced remembering his moment of weakness last year; sleeping with Katya had been done in a pique of revenge aimed a woman who clearly didn't give a rat's ass.

This turn of events was helping to verify Dixon's theory. If the other two sisters somehow emerged unscathed, he'd have proof. He continued listening; Elizabeth wasn't in immediate danger. Jack was ready to move the instant he felt otherwise.

"You must be Katya Derevko," Elizabeth was saying.

"So Jack _has_ mentioned me?"

"Only as the traitorous bitch who nearly killed his daughter."

There was the sound of a slap and Jack winced again.

Elizabeth's tone was conversational, "I'm sorry but I didn't catch either of your names."

"Oh dear, I've forgotten my manners. Julian Sark and this is Anna Espinosa."

"And would you care to explain what I'm doing here? What is Joseph involved in?"

"My _father_," Sark spat the word, " has helped to bankroll many of my ventures, though he thought he was investing in brilliant money making schemes. You see Joseph Spencer took me in when I was a lad. I had no family, he had no heir; it was perfect.

"He's proved useful over the years, most especially in getting you here. But he seems to have lost his spine now that we've gotten down to it. He doesn't seem to think Milo Rambaldi is on the side of right. He simply wanted to hurt and humiliate the woman whom he love and who'd, in return, scorned him after nearly ten years together.

"Father, why don't you come out and join us. Oh wait, let me help you."

Jack took a chance and peered in the window. Anna and Katya had their backs to him. There was a hallway to their right and Elizabeth was turned partially towards it but was facing the window. As Sark appeared, Joseph in tow, he ducked back down.

"Part of the money has been helping to hide Katya's sister, Elena. She will be in the country within a few hours. Then we'll be able to begin fulfilling the Final Agenda."

Elizabeth's head was reeling, though she was still unsure as to why she was involved. She needed to keep them talking, force them into revealing their ultimate goal. She could only hope that Jack had gotten her message and was on his way.

"I still don't understand what this has to do with me."

"You stupid whore," Katya answered. "Your fool of a lover would follow you to the ends of the Earth to keep you safe. When he comes, he will be taken care of, as will you. We can't have him interfering with our plans."

Inwardly, Elizabeth groaned. She'd led Jack straight into their custody. Aloud, she said, "Jack has no idea where I am. He's more concerned for his daughter and grandson." She tried to sound annoyed, "He won't come after me. His family is all that matters to him."

"Trouble in paradise?" Sark chuckled, "Don't worry, if he doesn't come soon, we'll simply find a more enticing prize."

Outside, Jack risked another look. Sark was standing next to Derevko and Espinosa while Spender was seated, hands tied, in a chair next to Elizabeth. Elizabeth caught sight of Jack; only through years of training did she not react.

Jack began formulating a plan; they needed a distraction to even up the numbers. He didn't trust Spencer and if the ambassador was on their side, he had no training.

He took out the smaller pistol from his side holster. Jack figured that firing off a few rounds would get someone's attention. If he could surprise one of them with the garrôt, Elizabeth might be able to take out another. Praying his plan would work, Jack crept to the front door and fired off six shots.

He dropped the gun and grabbed the garrôt. When Anna exited a few seconds later, he tugged the thin wire around her neck. As the woman struggled, he was vaguely aware of gunfire echoing from the small house.

Inside, Elizabeth had waited until Ann had left before attacking Katya Derevko. It wasn't a smart move as she had no weapon, but she knocked Derevko off balance, ruining her aim. Elizabeth took cover behind the loveseat when she saw Sark whip out his gun.

Thankfully, Derevko had dropped her small handgun and Elizabeth had managed to pick it up. She fired the weapon a few times then got up to chase the two fugitives out the back door. As she ran past Joseph, however, he stuck out his foot, tripping her. She swore as she heard the chopper take off.

Jack finally appeared, eyes frantically searching for Elizabeth. She was picking herself up off the floor, looking furious.

"You bastard," she rounded on Joseph. "What in the hell were you thinking?" Elizabeth landed a hard right hook.

Jack came over to her, quickly assessing her health. When he could see that she was well, he pulled her into a tight embrace. Then he turned his attention to Spencer. He hauled him up by his lapels, drew back his fist and proceeded to pummel the man. It only took a few moments before the Brit was unconscious.

"Feel better, Jack?" Elizabeth asked wryly.

"Much."

"I'll have MI-6 come round and take him into custody. They can extradite him to the U.S. if you'd like."

Jack nodded and took a quick inventory of the place while she made the call. Nothing stood out as particularly meaningful, though. He took some mental snapshots, hoping that his brain might unconsciously analyze what he saw that his waking mind could not. With a last glance he joined Elizabeth at the door.

"All set?" At her nod he put his arm around her waist.

"Thank you for coming," she said as they reached the rental car.

Jack's face tightened almost imperceptibly, remembering her words to Sark at the summerhouse. While Elizabeth noticed, she said nothing, unsure of his reaction. The ride to the airfield was filled with an off silence.

Once they had boarded the plane and were in the air, Jack finally spoke.

"You doubted that I'd come."

Her head snapped in his direction. "With everything that's going on with Rambaldi, with Sydney . . . I wouldn't have blamed you if you hadn't."

He relaxed slightly and Elizabeth realized what had been bothering him. "I was trying to throw Sark off. I didn't want him too confident about your arrival. And it was better if he didn't think he could use me against you."

"You still shouldn't have doubted me. I love you; I'd never abandon you like that."

"What about Sydney?"

"She's safe at APO with JM." At her look, Jack proceeded to fill Elizabeth in on the latest developments. When he was finished he tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a yawn.

Elizabeth tugged his head down into her lap. "It's a long trip back. We both could use the sleep."

With her hands running through his hair, it wasn't long before Jack was asleep. Elizabeth watched as the haggard lines disappeared from his face. She sighed and let her own eyes drift shut.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Jack and Elizabeth were jerked awake by what they thought was turbulence. A moment later, the pilot came over the intercom with bad news.

"Agents, we appear to have lost engine number three. I'm going to have to land in Ireland for repairs."

After an hour's waiting at Kilkenny airport, they were informed that it could take up to 36 hours before the aircraft would be flight ready. Needless to say, Jack was not pleased. When he started to protest the delay, Elizabeth pulled him aside.

"I've got a small cottage a couple of hours fro here. We can wait there, rest up, discuss our options now that we have more information on this Final Agenda."

The prospect of enduring the delay in an airport terminal was less than appealing. There was nothing that could speed up the process, he reasoned. They may as well take advantage of an opportunity to regroup.

Jack relinquished control of the rental car to Elizabeth. In his state of fatigue he couldn't be sure he would remember to stay on the left side of the road. Instead, he fiddled with the radio, finally finding an oldies station.

He smiled when he heard _Unchained Melody_. Elizabeth glanced at him and returned the smile. They both were remembering the night they'd danced in his apartment. As the car sped along the quiet Irish countryside, Jack drifted into a light sleep, caught up in memories.

**1967**

_Jack and Elizabeth sat in his small studio apartment finishing their dinner of Kung Pow chicken. It had been a quiet evening; their day had been long and fruitless. All they'd wanted was to relax with some music._

_As he started clearing dishes _Wild Thing _came on the radio. Jack began a silly dance as he made his way to the sink, singing along. Elizabeth grinned and joined him. _Then He Kissed Me _came on; Jack followed the suggestion of the song and kissed Elizabeth every time the lyric came up. _Daydream Believer, There's a Kind of Hush, _and_ Can't Take My Eyes Off of You _accompanied them as the cleaned the dishes. When the song changed to _Unchained Melody_ though, he tugged her close. They swayed to the music lost in each other's embrace._

_Eventually, hands started wandering and they made their way to Jack's bed. They were down their underwear before Elizabeth pulled away._

"_We can't. You know how much I want to . . ."_

"_I know. We should wait until this mission is over. See where things end up. You're so beautiful, Elizabeth. I can't help myself!" he half apologized._

"_Let's just curl up together. I could lay with you like this forever," she giggled. "Oh, God, I sound like some cheesy romance novel."_

"_That's alright, sweetheart. I like a little cheese now and then." Jack kissed her before spooning behind her. "And I like _you_."_

Jack awoke to his left arm tingling and twitching slightly. Every once in a while, usually when he was stressed, tired, or injured, symptoms of his torture session with Anthony Geiger recurred. He snuck a look at Elizabeth to see if she had noticed. Luckily, she hadn't realized he was even awake. He really did not want to explain the reason for the twitches; Jack hadn't told Elizabeth about Geiger at the time, not wanting to worry her unnecessarily.

When he thought he could trust his arm not to betray him, he spoke, "I didn't know you had a place in Ireland."

Elizabeth jumped. "Jesus, Jack. I though you were still asleep." She steadied her breathing and then answered his question. "I bought it a couple of years ago. It's a combination safe house/getaway."

"Sounds wonderful. Does this place have food?"

"Of course. We're about 20 minutes away. When we get there we can have one of our three course breakfasts!"

Thirty minutes later, they were side by side in the kitchen. Jack was making omelets and watching the toast while Elizabeth flipped pancakes and fried bacon. The tremor in his arm had subsided and he was looking forward to this late morning meal.

After they'd eaten and cleaned the dishes, Jack made a call to Dixon using the SAT phone. When Jack finished filling him in on what had transpired in Blackpool, Dixon swore. They still hadn't made any progress in locating any of the Derevkos. To make matters worse, Irina's body had disappeared from the morgue along with a vial of Rambaldi fluid.

Before he hung up, Jack issued a pair of instructions, "Keep looking. It's imperative that we find those women. And Dixon, get Will Tippin out of Witness Protection. With Anna and Arvin in custody, he's fairly safe. Bring him to APO; he can stay with Sydney for awhile."

In the small den, Elizabeth had set up a work area for them to brainstorm in. Pads of paper, pens, pencils, and a laptop were scattered on the low coffee table. When Jack came in looking disheartened, she went to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Irina's body is missing. So is some Rambaldi fluid."

Elizabeth got down to business, "Alright. We need to make a comprehensive list of anything and everything we know about Rambaldi, the prophecy, and the Derevko sisters. See if we can't start making some sense out of this."

"Well, we know they want Sydney and me out of the way so they can have complete access to JM," Jack began.

For the next several hours, they wrote, argued points, cross-referenced, and re-wrote until their eyes were crossed. At last, it came to Jack; what had been bothering him about the Powell summer home.

"There was a series of drawings on a photograph left behind by Sark and Derevko. It didn't make much sense at the time, but given that Irina and the elixir have been taken . . ."

"What is it? What do you remember?"

"It's crude, but I think the symbols meant that giving Irina the Rambaldi fluid could revive her." Jack picked up a pencil and began sketching.

As he worked on the last symbol, his hand and arm began to tremble. He tried to shake it off, but the trembling continued. Elizabeth looked at him with alarm,

"Sweetheart, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Just give me a minute." He got up and stretched his arm, rotating it, moving it in all directions. The tremors subsided but Elizabeth's concern did not.

"Would you like to tell me what that was all about?"

"Not really. We should have MI-6 send all the photos to APO for analysis." Jack was seated again, completing his drawing.

Gently, she took the pencil from him. Elizabeth placed on hand in his cheek and forced him to look at her. "I'm not really asking. I'm insisting."

Jack withdrew from her. It wasn't something he talked about; in fact the only time he _had_ was when he'd been forced to see Dr. Barnett. It was rare that he had these flare ups, so he pushed the entire incident to a dark corner of his mind where all the other horrible things in his life were compartmentalized.

He hated remembering the way he felt as Geiger tortured him: completely helpless. Jack knew Elizabeth wouldn't think any less of him; she'd actually sympathize with him, something he hadn't gotten much of from Dr. Barnett.

"Do you remember when we took out the Alliance, all 12 branches simultaneously?" Jack was at the window, staring out at the open fields.

"Yes, I was on the team in Basingstoke," she was a little confused. '_Five years ago?_' she thought.

"About a week before the operation, Arvin disappeared. Anthony Geiger was appointed his successor at SD-6. Geiger's main objective was to ferret out any moles."

"Anthony Geiger, dear God."

"After the Arianna Kane debacle, I was being watched closely. Sydney had been able to retrieve vital information off of the server that linked all 12 SD cells. We needed to confirm that the security code was current. I volunteered to go back in.

"As I was attempting to hack the computer, I was apprehended. Geiger had already deduced that I was a double agent; it wasn't a big leap to conclude that Sydney was one as well. He forced me to call Sydney, to tell her that she was needed at SD-6. I used a pass phrase we created to warn Sydney that I was compromised and not to come in.

"I was drugged and taken to the Conversation Room. I as there several hours before Geiger deigned to make an appearance. I honestly don't know half the shit I said to him or he to me. I was simply trying to keep him talking, not thinking about Sydney. But he hooked me up to electrodes."

Elizabeth shut her eyes, knowing what came next. She wasn't sure how Jack had managed. She cursed herself mentally; she'd seen the scars on his wrists and ankles while they made love, but hadn't made the connection.

"Geiger came back every 60 minutes, trying to get me to break; I couldn't do that. I was terrified for Sydney, but I couldn't let him know that."

"How many times?" Elizabeth asked, softly.

Jack looked at her. "Three. Right before the fourth, he told me he would enjoy inflicting the same kind of torture on Sydney. And there was nothing . . . _NOTHING_ I could do to stop it!" In his anger, he rammed his fist into the wall.

The torment in Jack's eyes was palatable and Elizabeth needed to be near him. She crossed the room and took his now injured hand. "How did you escape?"

"Sydney burst in and shot Geiger before he could administer the fatal shock. After the medics looked me over, I saw Sydney for a few minutes. She knows I was tortured, but I've never told her how badly."

She caressed his swollen knuckles, trying to give him some small comfort. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

He shrugged, "It wasn't worth mentioning."

"Are you out of your mind? Don't you know how much I would have wanted to be with you? I would have been there for you. You shouldn't have gone through that alone; you've gone through too much in your life by yourself. I just wish you'd have come to me more often."

Jack didn't respond; there wasn't anything _to_ say. From a young age he'd learned to be self-sufficient. With a father who worked all day and mother who cared only for herself, he'd had to be. As an adult he hadn't wanted to burden others with his problems. And after Irina was extracted, he'd kept even more to himself as a defense mechanism.

There were so many things he hadn't shred with Elizabeth, things that still haunted him deep in the recesses of his mind. Jack wasn't sure he could ever tell her of the hell he'd gone through the year he'd spent in solitary while Sydney was presumed dead.

"Jack? Where'd you go?"

He was jerked back to reality. "What?"

"You seemed a million miles away. What were you thinking about?"

"How much I love you," he fibbed.

"You're a liar. But it was a lovely untruth. I'll stop badgering you about Geiger. I know how difficult it was for you to tell me," she kissed the corner of his mouth. "Just remember that I love you; you can tell me anything."

They fell into bed that night too tired to do anything but sleep. Jack tried to stay on his side of the bed; he could tell he was in for a tough night. He could sometimes tell when the dreams would hit. And with all the crap from his past being dragged to the surface, tonight was ripe for a doozy. In spite of that, Jack let Elizabeth tug him close.

Hours later he woke both himself and Elizabeth as he flailed, yelling at an unseen attacker. It was several minutes before she could calm he down enough to realize where he was.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered.

Elizabeth looked at him with concern. Sweat had beaded on his forehead; his hair was matted down, he was breathing heavily, and he had an almost wild look in his eyes.

"Geiger?" she asked, softly.

"No." He got up and turned on a light, the absolute darkness of the room reminding him too much of Camp Harris.

"I know you don't like talking about what's happened to you, and I won't force you to. I only want you to heal from whatever traumas you've gone through. I'll listen to anything you choose to tell me."

Jack sat on the edge of the bed, facing her but with downcast eyes. "After Sydney disappeared a few years ago, I became obsessed with finding her. Despite the CIA's insistence that she was dead, despite all evidence to the contrary, I was convinced she was alive.

"Irina had the same suspicions, or so I thought. We worked together for a year trying to locate Sydney. I now realize that Irina's only intentions were to throw me off track. About a year after Sydney's disappearance, Robert Lindsey took me into custody for resisting authority.

**2002**

_Jack was dumped unceremoniously into an eight by eight cell. Robert Lindsey had personally led the team that had invaded his home. Since he could be held indefinitely under the Patriot Act, Lindsey had made up flimsy charges that had no evidential support._

_He knew exactly what he was being held for: They wanted to know where to find Irina. And because they had bonded in their search for Sydney, Jack refused to give her up. He had no illusions about how he'd be treated, but he and Irina had come into possession of a video that showed Sydney, alive. In it she was slitting the throat of a man named Andrien Lazarey. Jack need to know that some one was continuing the search for Sydney, especially now._

_It wasn't long before Lindsey and one of his goons paid him a visit. Jack was handcuffed to the table before Lindsey began. "Agent Bristow, I'm going to make this simple. You give us Derevko's location and you'll retain your freedom, if not your job. You choose not to cooperate . . . and well . . . let's just say life will be very unpleasant for you."_

"_I'm sure that line has worked on the petty crooks you're used to questioning. I'm neither petty nor a crook. So let me assure you I'm not intimidated by the likes of you." Jack knew his smart remarks would piss Lindsey off; he wasn't disappointed._

_Lindsey nodded to one of his cronies. The brute landed a couple of quick shots to Jack's kidneys and jaw. He spat blood, but remained mute._

"_Fine, you want to make this difficult, I'll be happy to oblige."_

_For the next few months, Jack endured daily beatings. He refused to speak at all, not responding to any sort of questioning. They were always careful not to break any bones (that would require to much of an explanation at the infirmary), but Jack was constantly a mass of bruised flesh._

_Then there was a lull; no visitors, no interrogations. Jack realized they were letting him heal which meant they had something worse in store. Unfortunately, he was right. Sometimes he hated being a game theorist._

_Over the following six months, Jack was subjected to both sleep and sensory deprivation. He was forced to stand for hours at a time in a brightly lit or pitch black room. Days would go by without any sleep, sometimes without food. After days or weeks of complete silence, music would be blasted into his cell._

_Despite battling fatigue, depression, and hallucinations, Jack still managed to keep Irina's whereabouts to himself. Eventually, Lindsey gave up on ever getting him to talk and Jack was moved to solitary. While he was questioned once a week, they no longer used extreme measures to elicit answers._

_Jack was grateful for the move to solitary; the soft lighting guaranteed that it would neither be blindingly bright nor pitch black. Loud noises had the tendency to alarm him, no matter how hard he fought to suppress his reaction. It was months after his release before he could sleep in a dark room or not startle at unexpected sounds._

_It was almost a year to the day of his confinement when Jack was informed that he had a visitor. He hadn't been allowed a razor and he'd let his hair grow; he felt like Hannibal Lector. _'Not that it really matters,'_ he mused. _'I'm not trying to impress anyone.'

_Before he could go into the glass visiting cage, he was stopped by one of the ranking guards. "Your daughter woke up in Hong Kong a few days ago with no memory of the past two years." Jack struggled to maintain a calm exterior. "After a day in the hospital she's apparently remembered some details of who and where she was being held. Somehow she's managed to finagle a visit with you. Bear in mind that you'll be monitored at all times."_

_Jack's legs nearly buckled at the sight of his daughter standing in front of him, unharmed. It was sensory overload in the extreme. After Sydney moved toward the glass, he was able to speak. "Sweetheart, you look so beautiful."_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Jack hadn't looked at Elizabeth directly the entire time he'd spoken. At some point, she'd taken his hand and was rubbing her thumb across his knuckles.

"A few days later I was released, my record expunged. Sydney had black mailed Lindsey with destroying plans for the drone."

Elizabeth knew it would do no good to chastise him again for not telling her. He hated not being in control and reliving that experience only served to highlight his lack of power. "Jack I'm so sorry."

He drew away from her, "Don't be. It was my own stupidity that landed me there in the first place. If I hadn't have been foolish enough to trust Irina Derevko again . . ."

"Your daughter's life was at stake . . ."

"Because of _her_! I should have known better. 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,'" he quoted sarcastically.

"You have got to stop blaming yourself! It is perfectly reasonable to assume that a mother would want to take care of her child, not put her in harm's way. You couldn't have known how badly Irina wanted the Rambaldi Prophecy fulfilled."

"She orchestrated the whole thing! Manipulated me into working with her when I should have realized how obsessed she was . . ."

"Stop it!" Elizabeth cut him off again, "For the _last_ time, you are _not_ God! You are not omnipotent; you're just a man. A wonderful, extraordinary man, but a man nonetheless. You didn't deserve what happened to you and you don't deserve to keep suffering. Stop punishing yourself."

Jack's whole body sagged and Elizabeth caught him in her arms. Tears were running unchecked down his face; he never allowed his emotions to show, never felt safe enough to do so. Now, in her embrace, he let out the anguish he'd felt while being held prisoner.

She held him until he was spent, then pulled him back under the covers, facing her. Elizabeth stroked her hands over his forehead and down his face; a soothing gesture that helped to lull him back to sleep.

"My poor, darling Jack. What other ghosts are haunting you?"

They got lucky and were able to leave Kilkenny late the next morning and arrived in LA around noon. They went straight to APO, eager to share Jack's theory about the Rambaldi fluid. Dixon greeted them somberly.

"More bad news. Elena Derevko was spotted in Lisbon. She was carrying some sort of package. We can only assume it's Rambaldi related. She's left the country and we're trying to get a bead on her."

"Elena," Jack said, flatly. "They have all three sisters now. All they have to do is give Irina the elixir. They're going to come after JM, which puts Sydney in danger as well.

"We have to find them. I will not have my family subjected to this . . . madness any more, damn it."

"Dad?" Sydney entered Dixon's office carrying her son. "Elizabeth, I'm glad you're safe. You both look tired, though."

Jack took the baby after hugging Sydney. Keeping his voice modulated, he told her what happened in Blackpool.

"So Sark is involved, too?" After he nodded, she went on, "Then why did you bring Will out of Witness Protection?"

"Sark only cares for himself, his agenda. Will no longer represents a threat to him. Will's safe here, I promise sweetheart.

"I want everyone in the conference room in 30 minutes. Detailed reports from both teams, any leads on where they could be hiding, how they plan to resurrect Milo Rambaldi."

Elizabeth and Jack walked with Sydney to her temporary quarters. Will Tippin sat on a small couch, staring at the TV.

"Will, Dad's here. And this is Elizabeth Powell, his . . ."

"Girlfriend?" Will supplied helpfully as Sydney trailed off. He'd noticed how the two older agents were holding hands.

Jack glared at him while Elizabeth and Sydney looked amused. "A pleasure to meet you," Elizabeth extended her hand.

Sydney put JM down for a nap and returned to find her father discussing the Rambaldi Prophecy with Will. At her stunned expression he said, "We need a fresh take on this, Sydney. Will knows nothing beyond the facts I've given him. He also has the least emotional involvement. I'd like him to join us at the briefing."

"You can't bring him into this mess! I've _already _screwed up his life enough! Will's an innocent civilian . . ."

"Syd," Will jumped in, "you're forgetting that I've actually been on a couple of missions with you. I'm not _totally_ useless and I'm not just a civilian at this point. Besides, I'm willing to do serious damage to anyone who'd hurt you or the little guy."

Jack hid a smile. He knew he'd done the right thing in bringing Will out of hiding. Sydney needed a friend; with Nadia and Vaughn dead or as good as, she needed someone to talk to. Will was a good man who truly cared about his daughter. He had earned Jack's respect after the mission involving 'The Circumference' nearly got him killed. And the young man had never wavered in his devotion to Sydney.

He glanced at his watch and realized the briefing was about to start. He motioned to the door, "We need to go. Will JM be all right?"

"He'll be fine. I'll bring the baby monitor just in case," Sydney replied. "But he should sleep for the next hour."

"_Should_ being the key word," laughed Will. "That boy is stubborn; he's definitely a Bristow."

In the conference room, the teams began laying out all of the intel they had acquired over the past 48 hours. It didn't add up to much: Two Derevko sisters were alive and had the third's boy ready to be reanimated via the Rambaldi fluid; they believed that Johnathon Michael was the reincarnation of Milo Rambaldi and should be raised by his followers; Elena had been seen in Portugal but was now headed for parts unknown.

"I know this might be a little on the nose, but . . ." Will began, "Milo Rambaldi was Italian, right? So couldn't the Derevkos be hiding there? I mean maybe they want to raise JM in the same country as Rambaldi."

"Will, we've got no proof of that. We can't act without some kind of . . ."

"Rachel interrupted Sydney, "Well, actually I was examining the locations where Rambaldi artifacts were found and, well take a look."

A map marked with the locations of the artifacts flashed on screen. Slowly two red lines connected the dots.

"Oh my God," breathed Sydney.

"Oh, that is so cool. It's so simple; I should have seen it. It's great!" Marshall exclaimed.

"'X' marks the spot," deadpanned Will.

Dixon squinted at the map. "Looks like Parma."

"Milo Rambaldi's birthplace," said Jack to Elizabeth.

"I did some research on the town after Rachel told me what she'd found. It seems that a monument was built to honor Rambaldi in the late 18th century and around the end of the First World War, a museum was also erected," explained Tom. "The locals say that when the time is right, Rambaldi will be restored to power and the museum will be home to his apostles."

"It's as good a place as any to start," Dixon said as the baby monitor crackled with JM's cry.

Sydney started to get up when Will patted her hand. I'll get him. You stay and finish."

Another 15 minutes and the mission had been specced out. It would be a full out tactical assault on the museum-cum-stronghold. Sydney had insisted on being part of the team despite Jack's protests, although he _was_ able to get her to concede to staying behind the scenes rather than going into the field. She would be his back up, relaying directions and disabling security systems.

They had two days before leaving; in the meantime, an advance team would surveille the village and report back to APO. The assault team refused to go home, wanting gather as much intelligence as possible. Jack arranged for cots to be set up and rotated shifts to sleep. He and Elizabeth spent most of their free time with Sydney, Will, and JM.

In spite of the impending mission, Sydney looked happier than she had in a long time. She and Will loved taking care of the baby together. Jack, however, had to stop himself from throttling Will when the younger man made an inappropriate remark about watching Sydney breast feed. Sydney only laughed hysterically.

There was no laughter the morning of the mission. The advance team had reported that while the villagers didn't appear to be armed, the museum was well fortified.

"This operation must go ff without a hitch. Make sure your comms are working and tuned to the correct frequency. Our technical support teams are vital on this. And remember, the Derevko sisters are to be taken dead or alive. Wheels up in 90 minutes," commanded Jack.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

It was unclear as to the villagers' true allegiances in regards to Rambaldi. Most appeared to be ordinary civilians and Jack did _not_ want to create an international incident by killing innocents. So the main target was gaining entry to the museum and accessing the archives.

Jack and Elizabeth were going in as Religious Studies professors from Trinity University in Dublin. They ostensibly wanted to research Rambaldi and what he stood for. Once they had access to the main computer system, Jack would attach an external hard drive, which would piggyback the system to Marshall.

From there, bypassing security would be relatively easy. They would be able to let the rest of the assault force enter the building undetected.

All seemed to be going well, Jack's Irish accent rivaled Elizabeth's and the curator was leading them to a private research room. As the man explained the facilities, Jack noticed the Rambaldi symbol tattooed on his wrist. Once they were alone, he turned to Elizabeth.

"That man is a Rambaldi follower. I saw the Eye of Rambaldi on his wrist. We've got to be careful; we have no way of knowing whether he's in league with the Derevkos."

She nodded and they proceeded to begin their 'research' on the computer terminal. As planned, the hard drive sent the signal straight to Marshall. Within minutes, all known security devices were deactivated.

Sydney had pulled up the schematics of the museum and was relaying directions to her father. Below the main section of the museum were underground rooms, a kind of living facility from what she could tell. Dixon and Tom's teams had entered the building and were making their way to Jack and Elizabeth; systematically, they destroyed any artifacts they came across. There would be no more evidence of the man's madness for anyone else to abuse.

"Dad!" Sydney's voice came over comms as he and Elizabeth approached the entrance to the living quarters.

"What is it, Sydney?"

"It looks like you've tripped a silent alarm. About ten or so guards are headed your way."

"Raptor to Outrigger. We've got multiple hostiles on us. Can you take care of that?"

"Absolutely. Sidewinder's team is coming right behind you. I'll be covering the rear."

Jack and Elizabeth stood their ground as the first wave of guards rounded the corner. They had nothing to fear for Tom's team took out more than half the guards with their first round of bullets.

Jack shot the lock off the door and entered carefully. He knew Elizabeth was covering his every move. The apartment was dark so he took a moment to let his eyes adjust. There was no immediate threat so they crept forward; Jack motioned for Tom's team to secure the main room.

They made their way through the darkened room to the back where they spotted a small chamber off the hallway. The door opened easily, revealing a morgue-like set up. Irina's body was laid out on a slab, dressed in a gown of maroon silk.

She was hooked up to an IV of Rambaldi fluid. The bullet hole in her forehead was almost healed. He moved to take the needle from her arm.

"Jack, wait."

Something in Elizabeth's tone made him turn from the body, aiming his gun cautiously. Lurking in the corners of the room were Elena and Katya, guns trained on their prey.

"You are too late. The infusion is almost complete; once it is done, Irina will be immortal. She will fulfill Rambaldi's ultimate destiny. He will be born again and render his judgment unto those who have opposed him," Elena proclaimed.

They were at stalemate, the four of them. All Jack needed was a moment's distraction, for one of the Derevkos to flinch. His earpiece crackled.

"Outrigger to Raptor. We've got control over most of the facility. Do you need assistance?"

Ever so subtly, Jack activated his comm. "You must understand that the entire building has been infiltrated by the CIA. Even if you succeed in bring Irina back to life, you both will die and she'll be placed in prison forever."

Dixon quickly assessed what was happening. His team was on the other side of the museum and was headed toward Jack's last known location. "Outrigger to Phoenix."

"I copy you Outrigger. What's wrong?"

"We've got all three Derevkos within our grasp. It sounds like Raptor and Thoroughbred are in a stand off. I need a diversion; can you and Merlin reactivate the alarms?"

"No problem. Just tell us when," though her voice was calm, Sydney was panicking inside. The Derevkos were lethal under ordinary circumstances, now that they were so close to their goal, there was no telling what they would be willing to do.

"Outrigger to Sidewinder. How far are you from Raptor?"

"About 50 meters. Why?"

"Move in slowly, the Derevkos are with him. On my signal, open fire."

"What's the signal?"

"You'll see." Dixon now contacted Jack, "Raptor, Sidewinder's unit is right outside your door. My team will be right behind. As soon as you hear the alarms, drop to the floor.

"Phoenix are you ready?"

"Merlin is just waiting for your mark."

Dixon reached the living quarters, "Now!"

Alarms klaxoned; Jack and Elizabeth dropped to the ground as gunfire rained down all around them. Glass and plaster shattered; the noise was deafening. It was all over in a matter of minutes.

Hands helped them from the floor, but Jack paid them no heed. His eyes flicked to the corner where Katya and Elena now lay, their bodies torn apart by a myriad of bullet holes. He checked both of their pulses, was surprised when Katya gripped his arm.

"She loved you," she inclined her head toward Irina, "truly."

"You don't honestly think I give a rat's ass, do you? As of this moment, the Derevkos, Rambaldi, they are nothing. Mere footnotes in a history book. A bunch of fanatics who caused their own deaths."

Jack walked back to Elizabeth and wrapped his arms around her. They both jumped at the sound of a gunshot; his first thought was that Katya had somehow rallied enough strength to fire her weapon. When he didn't feel the telltale burning of his flesh being ripped apart, he looked up.

Dixon was standing over Irina's body, his gun still at her forehead. "Just making sure.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Can we please go home now?" Sydney all but whined.

It had been two days since the Derevkos had been killed and the Rambaldi artifacts destroyed. She saw no reason why she, Will, and JM had to stay cooped up at APO any longer. Besides she wanted to spend some time alone with both Will and JM. At APO they couldn't be assured of their privacy.

"All right," Jack relented. He had wanted to surprise Sydney with a few things for her and the baby. He's come up with a couple of good excuses to keep them both APO at, but now it was time for them to start over.

He and Elizabeth followed the happy trio back to Sydney's apartment. Jack hoped that the APO staffers had had enough time to get the place ready. He smiled at Elizabeth as Sydney opened the door.

"Surprise!" A crowd of people accosted Sydney. They had put off her shower/ homecoming because the various missions, but now they were ready to party.

There was food and presents and music. Jack even danced with both Sydney and Elizabeth. By the time her 'guests' had left, it was almost seven. Only Jack and Elizabeth remained after putting JM to bed.

They sat across from Sydney and Will, who had his arm draped comfortably across her shoulder, and surveyed the apartment. Most of the dinnerware had been plastic or paper so there were few dishes to be done. Jack had piled several garbage bags by the door to take to the dumpster on his way out.

Now they were staring at the mound of gifts Sydney and JM had received: a stroller, baby monitor, clothing, tops; you name it, they got it. Elizabeth had gotten Sydney a hand-sewn afghan and JM a CD of lullabies.

Jack had saved his gifts until now. He wanted to give them to her privately. First for JM were a couple of toys for when he was older: a roll out piano and a baby guitar. Jack wanted his grandson to have an appreciation for music. He also gave JM a copy of Sydney's favorite Dr. Seuss book, _Oh, the Places You'll Go_.

"Dad, you remembered!"

"Of course. I used to read it to you every night for a year. I think I could still recite it from memory.

"_Congratulations!_

_Today is your day._

_You're off to Great Places!_

_You're off and away!_

_You have brains in your head._

_You have feet in your shoes._

_You can steer yourself_

_any direction you choose_

_You're on your own. And you know what you know._

_And YOU are the girl who'll decide where to go._

_You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care._

_About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."_

_With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,_

_you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street._"

Will laughed out loud. He never thought he'd see the day when Jack Bristow would quote Dr. Seuss. Sydney squeezed his hand. Though it had only been a few days, they'd fallen into their old friendship with ease. He, of course, still hoped for more but was willing to wait.

Jack twisted the small box in his hand. He hoped it would mean as much to Sydney as it did to him. He handed her the present.

"It's beautiful! Where did it come from?" Sydney could tell the locket was fairly old.

"I gave that to my grandmother when I was ten years old. I'd saved up all year to get her something beautiful; we were very close. I spent summers with her and always enjoyed myself.

"She died just before you were born, so I got the locket back. I always intended on giving it to you when you got married. But I thought now would be more appropriate.

"I had it engraved. It's what my grandmother said was essential to good parenting."

Sydney turned the silver locket over and read the inscription aloud, "_Discipline, Patience, Humor, Unconditional Love_."

I could have used more humor, I suppose. But you would have tried the patience of a saint as a teenager," Jack paused. "I _always_ loved you, though. No matter what."

She got up and gave her father a hug. "I've always loved you, too," she said through her tears, "even when I acted like I hated you. I know now that I can always count on you."

Jack returned her embrace. "Open the locket," he encouraged her.

Inside, Sydney found a picture of JM, almost smiling and looking a lot like his grandfather, on one side. The other held a picture of a regal looking woman whom she didn't recognize.

"Who . . ."

"My grandmother, Maggie Donahue. She advanced my education on the piano and taught me to enjoy life, despite my parents' misgivings. I'd forgotten her words of wisdom for a long time. But I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did.

"And my first piece of advice is to find some one to love. I know you loved Vaughn very much, but you deserve to be happy and JM should have a father."

Sydney unconsciously glanced at Will. They had been friends a long time, lovers once, and over the last week he'd become a part of the family. Will helped with midnight feedings, diaper changes, bath time; all without being asked or complaining. Sydney knew she loved him, but was she _in_ love? It hadn't even been a year and she couldn't help but feel like she was betraying Vaughn.

As if he was reading her thoughts, Jack said, "Don't feel guilty for falling in love again. It's part of what kept me from having a real relationship after 'Laura' died, even knowing who she was."

Sydney settled next to Will, whose arm once more took its place on her shoulders. Jack took Elizabeth's hand; she had been uncharacteristically quiet this evening. Before he could say anything, Sydney spoke up.

"So, Dad, you want to play us something on that cool piano?"

"You don't really . . ." he demurred.

"Yes, we do," chimed in Will.

Jack protested a couple more times before unrolling the keyboard. He tapped the keys experimentally and went into a riff of The Who's _Baba O'Riley_, segueing into _Penny Lane_ and _Canon in D_ before ending with Federico Aubele's _Esta Noche_.

When he was done Sydney and Will gave him a standing ovation while Elizabeth smiled and clapped enthusiastically. A loud wail from the nursery interrupted them.

"I guess JM didn't like my selections," Jack said chuckling slightly. "Let me check on him and we'll be out of your way."

"You don't have to go," Sydney tried to stifle a yawn.

"But you're up past your bedtime, young lady," Will scolded.

Jack was already with JM, cradling him as he sat in the rocking chair. "What's the matter, my boy? You want Grandpa to sing to you? Since I played for Mommy, it's only fair."

Elizabeth leaned on the doorframe, a wistful expression clouding her face.

"What's wrong?" Sydney asked her.

"Oh, nothing. Feeling a little homesick, I suppose."

Sydney gave her a quick hug, "Remember, you're always welcome here. Dad loves you and so do I." Her attention wandered to her father and her son. "What is Dad doing?"

Jack had started to sing softly to JM, taking no notice of the two women in the doorway. Sydney was taken by surprise again; her father had a wonderful voice! She couldn't understand why he hadn't sung along as he'd played earlier.

"_It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside_

_I'm not one of those who can easily hide._

_I don't have much money, but boy if I did_

_I'd buy a big house were we all could live._

_If I were a sculptor, but then again, no_

_Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show._

_I know it's not much but it's the best I can do._

_My gift is my song and this one's for you._

_And you can tell everybody, this is your song._

_It may be quite simple, but now that it's done_

_I hope you don't mind_

_I hope you don't mind that I put down in words._

_How wonderful life is now you're in the world._

_I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss._

_Well a few of these verses, well they got me quite cross._

_But the sun's been kind while I wrote this song._

_It's for people like you that keep it turned on._

_So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do._

_You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue._

_Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean:_

_Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen._"

Sydney steeped into the room as Jack lowered the now slumbering infant into his crib. He started as she touched his shoulder.

"Sydney . . . what?"

"I just remembered you singing me to sleep when I was a little girl. I love that song; I used to love listening to you sing," she hugged him tightly. "Thank you for getting him back to sleep. I might actually be able to nod off for a while.

"Good. You need your rest, sweetheart. So Elizabeth and I should let you get it. I'll call you tomorrow."

Elizabeth stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade down her back. She was hoping she could wash her troubles down the drain. What she had told Sydney about being homesick was only partially true; when it got down to it she was actually missing what she was seeing between Jack and Sydney. Elizabeth was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't hear the bathroom door open and close, didn't realize Jack was there until he joined her under the hot spray.

"Jack? What are you doing?"

"Conserving water," he deadpanned.

He kissed her neck, letting his hands trail down her body. She could feel his arousal pressing against her and moaned her appreciation. Jack's fingers worked their magic, caressing her nipples and the soft wet flesh between her thighs.

Jack played her like he played his piano. Bringing her closer and closer to release, but never letting her come. By the time he entered her, Elizabeth was quivering with desire. He pushed her against the cool time of the shower and thrust into her from behind. It only took a few strokes before the both exploded.

"Oh, God, Jack! That was amazing!" she said, breathlessly. She turned to face him, kissing him deeply.

They soaped each other up; making sure _everything_ was squeaky clean. They toweled off with the same thoroughness. When they made it to the bed, both were ready for another round. This time Jack made slow, meticulous love to her, worshipping every inch of her body.

When they were both sated, curled in each other's arms, Elizabeth spoke again. "Not that I'm complaining, but what on Earth came over you?"

"I love you. And you looked like you could use some cheering up," he replied.

"Well, consider me cheered."

After a moment's pause, Jack said, "You were awfully quiet at Sydney's party. Anything you want to tell me?"

Elizabeth didn't answer him at first. She was embarrassed to admit what she was feeling.

"Talk to me please, came his soft voice.

"There are times when I hate my job, my life, more than anything. And today was one of them."

He was taken aback, unsure of where this conversation was leading.

"Working for MI-6 has robbed me of having a true life, a family. I'll never be a mother, let a long a grandmother. And I will regret that until the day I die.

"Watching you with Sydney and JM . . . I was jealous. And I know I have no right to be. I chose not to settle down with Joseph; it wouldn't have been fair to either of us. But now I realize I have no family, no one to grow old with, no children to be proud of . . ."

"Elizabeth, you're a part of _this_ family. You've been my family for a long time. Sydney still needs a mom and JM needs to be spoiled by a grandma.

"As for some one to grow old with . . ." Jack rolled over and opened the nightstand drawer. He took out the small box that had been nestled in the back.

He turned back to her with the box now open. Inside was a simple one-carat, princess cut diamond ring, set in a solitaire, white gold band. "Will you marry me?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Elizabeth was stunned. She stared at the ring, not quite believing what she was hearing. Was Jack truly asking her to marry him? After all these years? It was incredible!

"What?" she managed to sputter.

"Will you marry me?" Despite the calmness to his voice, Jack was a nervous wreck. He wasn't sure his proposal was going to go over. "Elizabeth? I know I'm a few decades late but . . ."

"I don't know what to say!"

"How about 'yes'?"

"Of course, yes! Of course I'll marry you, Jack!"

With trembling hands, he took the ring and handed it to her. "I want you to see the inscription before I put it on your finger."

She turned it into the light and read the words aloud. "_Yours. Now, Always, and Forever, Jack._ I love it. When did you have time to go ring shopping?"

"I didn't. This was my grandmother's as well." He took the ring and slipped it on her finger. "She left me quite a bit of her estate when she died," Jack clarified. "She wanted me to give this to the woman I loved, to the woman I would marry.

"I never gave this ring a passing thought when I proposed to Laura . . . Irina. But I knew that it was perfect for you. Elizabeth, you are the love of my life."

"You know I've loved you from the first, Jack. That has never changed and it never will."

Jack took her in his arms, sealing their engagement with a kiss.

A few hours later, Jack was startled out of a contented sleep by the phone. He reached over and answered groggily, "Bristow."

"Dad?"

Suddenly Jack's senses were at full alert. "Sydney? Is something wrong?"

"Dad, JM won't stop crying. Will and I have tried everything," she sounded slightly hysterical.

"It's all right, sweetheart. He probably has croup," Jack could hear the baby's rattling cries. "You used to keep us up for nights at a time. Tell Will to go run the bath as hot as he can get it. In the meantime, put the phone on speaker, I'll sing to him."

"Thank you, Dad."

"Of course.

"_Come run, jump, skip along Sam_

_A very happy man I am_

_To know you're well and you're doing fine_

_Kind of puts at rest my mind . . ._"

While JM's cries didn't stop all together, they became less harsh. "Take JM to the bathroom. Let the steam clear up the mucus in his lungs. If he's not asleep in an hour, call me back and we'll take him to the hospital."

"Thanks again, Dad. I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's ok. Try to get some sleep when JM goes down. I love you."

"Love you, too."

The next morning, Jack and Elizabeth were eating a late breakfast when the phone rang again. This time it was Dixon at APO.

"Jack, I'm sorry to bother you. Sloane has been asking to speak with you. He says it's about Nadia."

"I'll be in around ten. I'll talk to him then." Jack hung up the phone and sighed.

"What is it, love?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sloane. He wants to talk about Nadia. It's probably more crap about Rambaldi, but I still have to deal with him until they set a date for his execution."

"Well, after work we can go tell Sydney the good news," she smiled. "Just keep that happy thought in mind."

By 10:30, Jack was facing Arvin Sloane once again. He doubted there was anything the little man could say that would interest him. Especially in light of the fact that all three Derevkos were dead; Rambaldi's end game could no longer be realized.

"What do you want, Arvin?"

"I know I have no right to ask you for anything. I'm not asking for me, I'm asking for Nadia. Jack, she can't stay in hiding, in a coma forever."

"Again, I ask you: What do you want?"

"For God's sake! I'm begging you to take care of Nadia! There _is_ a way to cure her; you just have to be willing to listen! She needs to have the Rambaldi fluid by IV; it _will_ cure her!"

"The last time Nadia was injected with Rambaldi related materials, she nearly died. She may not be _my_ daughter, but she is Sydney's sister. I will _not_ put her in harm's way . . ."

"Didn't you see what it was doing to Irina? I know Elena and Katya were planning on reviving her. There are no side effects; she'd be herself again. I swear on her life, on Sydney's life. Please, knowing that Nadia has a chance . . . I'll not fight the charges against me."

Jack left the room without saying another word. While he would never take out his anger with Sloane on Nadia, he wanted the man to suffer. And he wasn't sure he trusted Arvin as far as he could throw him.

There was something bothering him. Not once had Arvin referred to Nadia as his daughter. It was something he did, Jack reflected, to try and get a rise out of him. To remind Jack that not only did Irina sell secrets to the Soviets, she sold her body as well.

But Jack had always had a niggling doubt in the back of his mind. Something Irina had said last year. He'd never acted on it; there was too much evidence that favored Arvin's paternity over his. Now, though, he felt the need to know for sure, before he made the decision on here treatment.

He sought out Elizabeth, wanting to hear her opinion. "Can you come with me?"

"Sure. Where to?"

"I want to talk with you in private."

They ended up in the park, on a small bench. She threaded her fingers through his.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me, Jack."

He told her of Arvin's scheme to cure Nadia. He left out his questioning her parentage. Jack wouldn't say anything until after the results came back.

"So I need to decide whether to treat her or not. She doesn't deserve the life she's gotten, but I don't want to make her situation worse."

Elizabeth was quiet for a moment. "What does your heart tell you to do?"

He thought about it. "I think . . . either way would be a blessing for her. One way or another, it would be over," he paused. "Would you like to meet her?"

Elizabeth was surprised by the offer but took him up on it. She was curious about the woman who was Sydney's sister.

Another short drive and they were at St. Catherine's. Jack felt guilty; he hadn't been to see her since he'd transferred her back.

"Hey there," he took her hand. "You're an aunt, you know. Johnathon Michael Bristow, 7lbs. 6oz. He would sure like to meet you, Aunt Nadia. And this is Elizabeth. She's my fiancée, but you can't tell anyone yet."

Elizabeth marveled at the tenderness in his voice. He had such sympathy for a woman no one would blame him for despising: the product of an affair between his wife and best friend. But overall, Jack was a forgiving man, she reasoned; the circumstances of her birth weren't Nadia's fault. He was not one to place blame where it wasn't warranted.

"We're to try to bring you back, honey. I'm not sure if it will work, so . . ." Jack smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead, turning away from Elizabeth before she could see the raw emotion on his face.

Elizabeth followed Jack to the door but he asked her to stay with Nadia while he spoke to the doctor. She watched him surreptitiously through the glass walls. Jack felt bad, leaving Elizabeth out of the loop, but he didn't want her to worry about him. She spent far too much energy on his emotional well-being.

He explained to the doctor that he wanted a paternity test done and that his DNA profile was already on record. He also told the man to be prepared for an experimental treatment that would follow the results of the DNA test.

They were almost to Sydney's apartment before Elizabeth spoke. She had been mulling over Jack's behavior toward Nadia. There was something bother her, nagging at the back of her mind.

"Do you think Nadia is your daughter?" she asked.

His gaze flicked to her face. "I can't hide anything from you, can I?"

"Call it women's intuition."

"I've always hoped, half-suspected, that she was mine. There's a lot of evidence that she's Arvin's, too. If I'm going to make this decision, I need to know for sure."

"How long before the results are back?"

"Just a couple of days. I need those days to convince the DSR to loan me some of the Rambaldi fluid. In the meantime, please don't say anything to Sydney. She's got enough to worry about."

Elizabeth nodded her agreement. They had arrived at Sydney's and she was looking forward to telling her the good news. She was ready to take up her roll as Grandma and spoil JM beyond all reason.

"I'm ecstatic!" Sydney squealed. She hugged Elizabeth tightly. "You two have waited for too long to be together."

"I love your father very much. And you and JM as well."

"We love you, too." Sydney turned to Jack and put her arms around him. "I'm so happy for you! You deserve this. And now JM's got two grandparents and Uncle Will to spoil him."

Will grinned at her, then kissed Elizabeth's cheek and shook Jack's hand. "Congratulations to you both!"

Over the baby monitor, JM could be heard fussing. When Will moved to look in on him, Sydney stopped him with a hand on his chest. "It's my turn. Besides, he's probably hungry. Sit and talk to Dad and Elizabeth."

Will was still not entirely comfortable around Jack; found him kind of scary and had told Sydney this on many occasions. He excused himself after several minutes of awkward small talk, saying he was checking on Sydney and JM. He stopped in the doorway of the nursery and stared.

Sydney was in the rocking chair, shirt unbuttoned, JM at her breast. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. He stayed motionless until she lifted the baby and her eyes.

"Will!"

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't see anything . . . I . . . I just . . ."

"Here, hold him for me?" Sydney handed JM to Will while she fixed her shirt and bra. "It's all right, it's not like you haven't seen it before. You just startled me. You're supposed to be getting over your fear of my father," she scolded.

"It's not fear; it's a healthy dose of respect for a man who could probably shoot my eyeball out at 200 feet."

"More like 100. Joking!" she added at his alarmed look. "Seriously, did you need something?"

"No. Yes. Not really. We've been friends a long time, right?" He bounced JM as he fussed some more. "Well, the past few years really sucked, for everyone. I really missed you, Syd.

"I know that when we . . . you know . . ."

"Slept together," Sydney supplied.

"Yeah. I know that it was just a one night thing; we both were looking for a little comfort. And it was great, by the way. But . . ."

"You want something more," Sydney took the baby back. "I don't blame you. I've screwed up your life beyond belief. You should find a nice, quiet girlfriend and settle down." She wasn't sure why the thought hurt so much.

"No, Sydney, that's not what I meant. I haven't had a real relationship since Francie and I'm not even sure how much of that was really _our_ Francie.

"My friendship with you is the longest relationship I've ever had. And I know it hasn't even been a years since Vaughn died. And you just had a baby so you've got enough to worry about without adding me into the mix, so I'll just shut up now."

Will turned to leave, then spun back around. Before he could lose his nerve, he took Sydney in his arms and kissed her gently. Sydney was shocked at first but let herself relax into his embrace and enjoy the feel of a man's lips on her own.

That was how Jack and Elizabeth found them a few moments later. She could feel him tense beneath her hand and gave him a warning look. He cleared his throat and they broke apart.

Sydney felt very much like a teenager caught necking on her parents' couch. Will was just hoping he made it out of the room intact. Jack just smiled tightly at both of them.

"We were just checking. How's JM after his night of croup?" Elizabeth asked. She knew Jack liked Will, but Sydney was still his little girl.

"He's much better this morning. The cough is gone and he's slept for a few hours," Sydney glanced between her father and Elizabeth. "Why don't we head back to the living room. We've got a wedding to plan!"

The two women exited first, but Jack stopped Will with a hand on his chest. "Don't hurt her," he warned.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Agent Bristow, we have no idea what this liquid is composed of; no idea what effect it can have on the human body. We can't take that risk," Richard Dolan was the head of DSR.

"I saw what it can do!" Jack argued. "I shot Irina Derveko in the head. After being infused with that fluid, the bullet hole had healed. I have no doubt that, given more time, she would have been completely revived!"

"You have no proof of that! Agent Bristow, I understand that Agent Santos is your step-daughter, Sydney's sister. Be that as it may, we cannot allow you to take a substance that our scientists have yet to fully analyze. I'm sorry."

Jack left the DSR defeated. He had wanted to do this legally; he should have known better than to believe that Director Dolan would cooperate. While the CIA and FBI did much of the grunt work in locating artifacts, the DSR took them away for analysis and generally took all the glory for the discoveries. If Jack used the Rambaldi serum on Nadia successfully, it would be the CIA that was credited.

He drove mindlessly, willing himself to come up with an alternative solution. Eventually, Jack found himself at St. Catherine's in Nadia's hospital room. "Hey there, honey. I'm still working on bring you back to us. I ran into a stumbling block, but I'll figure this out. You can't miss the wedding, Elizabeth wants you as a bridesmaid."

"Mr. Bristow, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were here," Dr. Wallace had come in.

"It's just a quick visit. Any changes?" Jack asked half-heartedly, already knowing the answer.

"She's still stable. As long as we keep her sedated there have been no problems. May I ask if you have the new treatment?"

"Not yet." He kissed the back of Nadia's hand and stood. "Has the DNA test come back?"

"It should be in tomorrow. Can I call you?"

"My cell phone is always on."

Jack left the hospital and instead of going back to APO, he went headed to his apartment. He needed to be some place quiet; he had to think without all the distraction of the office. He had to get a hold of the Rambaldi fluid; Nadia couldn't be left to linger in a state of limbo. It wasn't fair to anyone.

The apartment was dark as Elizabeth unlocked the door. She had hoped to find Jack at home since he hadn't come back to work after his meeting with the DSR. She hung up her coat and turned on the light.

She was startled to see Jack dozing on the couch. Elizabeth had assumed that the meeting had not gone well or he would have called her immediately. She sat next to him and touched his shoulder.

"Jack, love. Wake up."

He opened his eyes sleepily. "What time is it?"

"A little past six. I take it the DSR said no?"

He nodded and stretched. "I've been trying to find a way to get my hands on more of the liquid. My options are to steal it from the DSR or talk to Sloane about possible locations of more.

"The latter option will probably involve cutting some sort of deal for Sloane's sentence. The former is a betrayal of my government."

"How difficult would it be to break into the DSR?"

"Well, Sydney and Dixon managed to breech Project Blackhole's security a couple of years ago. This set up is similar. However, I need to be as unobtrusive as possible; Marshall should be able to help us out there," Jack started to lay out a plan.

In the end they decided they needed a decoy to distract the main archivers while Elizabeth retrieved the fluid. Jack would be her guide using whatever technical support Marshall could provide. Marshall and Rachel would play the roles of freelance agents uploading Rambaldi intel to the DSR's mainframe.

Elizabeth was the one who realized that she would have to take more than just the fluid in order to avoid suspicion falling on Jack. They chose a few of the more innocuous pieces, those that had little real value and were easy to carry.

Jack contacted both Marshall and Rachel and made arrangements for the mission. They agreed to keep it quiet until Nadia could be infused with the fluid. Jack also decided they wouldn't carry out the mission until after he learned of the DNA results. He had Marshall call the DSR and make an appointment for late the following afternoon.

It was around 11:30 the next morning when Jack's cell rang. He was alone in his office; Elizabeth was with Rachel and Marshall finalizing the Op Tech for the assault on the DSR.

He listened carefully to Dr. Wallace and then hung up the phone. He sat, stunned by the news. Elizabeth walked by to see Jack sitting, immobile, at his desk. She entered, unsure of what had happened.

"Jack?"

Elizabeth's voice helped break him out of his shock. "She's mine."

"What?"

"Nadia is _my_ daughter, not Arvin's."

"That's wonderful!" Elizabeth came around his desk and hugged him tightly. "Have you told Sydney?"

"I just found out. I haven't had a chance to really take it all in. But I think I'll wait until after we get the fluid to tell Sydney . . ."

Elizabeth interrupted, "Don't keep this from her, Jack."

"I'm not. This isn't something you blurt out over the phone. I just want to have enough time to sit down and discuss this with her. Besides we have to get everyone ready for this afternoon. Are Rachel and Marshall se with their cover?"

"Yes. Once they're given a private research room, Marshall will access the security mainframe while Rachel uploads the schematics to you. They'll work together to keep the security systems from detecting my presence."

"Fine. What time did Marshal say his appointment was?"

"Three."

"It's a ninety minute drive and you need to be in position before they enter the facility. Let's get moving."

"Elizabeth?!" Jack shouted. "Marshall, what the _hell _is going on?"

"Just . . . give me a minute . . . oh no . . . no . . ."

"Marshall!"

"There's someone else in the room with Agent Powell."

"Who, Marshall? Is it DSR security? You were supposed to keep the unaware!"

"It's not DSR . . . My overrides are still in place . . . Agent Bristow, I don't know _who_ that is, but they've cut off our comms!" Marshall was frantic.

Jack's earpiece crackled with one word, "Sark . . ."

As Elizabeth's voice faded out, Jack punched the wall of the surveillance van. "Son of a bitch!"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me, Jack?" Dixon was one of the few people willing to confront him.

"I was trying to involve as few people as possible. I tried to do this legally, Marcus. Dolan refused, so I had to find and alternative. Now Julian Sark has my fiancée, for who knows what reason."

"Your _fiancée_? When did that . . . nevermind. We've been contacted by the DSR. Here's a list of what's missing from the vault," Dixon handed him a printout. 

Jack's eyes drifted down the paper: Page 47, the music box, the clock, a few things he didn't recognize, and the Rambaldi fluid. Nothing made sense; Sark knew the music box was useless and there was nothing new that could be learned from the clock or Page 47. So what did he want with these artifacts, with Elizabeth?


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Thirty-six hours after Elizabeth's kidnapping, Jack decided to come clean with Sydney. About everything. He started with the mission, hoping to find the right words to explain about Nadia.

"But how did you even connect the fluid to reviving Nadia?" Sydney asked.

"Sloane suggested it. I know it sounds insane, but you didn't see what it did to your . . . to Irina. And Nadia deserves an end to her suffering," Jack looked away then.

In the silence that followed, the wheels in Sydney's brain were spinning. "There's something else, isn't there?"

"Yes . . . I've never _fully_ believed that Arvin was Nadia's father. I needed to know the truth before . . ." he cleared his throat. "I had a DNA test run. The results came back the morning before we tried to infiltrate the DSR."

"And?" Sydney could hardly stand the suspense.

"Nadia is my daughter." He couldn't meet her eyes.

"Really?! Dad, that's amazing!" Sydney grabbed him in a bear hug. "How do _you_ feel about all this?"

He thought for a minute, "I'm angry as hell that I've been cheated out of all those years with her . . . But I _am _glad that she's mine."

"I wish you'd told me."

"Sweetheart, I didn't want to get your hopes up. Especially about the infusion. If Elizabeth hadn't been taken . . . I probably would have waited until after we tried the liquid to tell you," Jack confessed.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Stop trying to protect me, Dad. I'm a big girl, a mother in fact."

"I keep trying to wrap my head around _that_," he smiled.

"What about Elizabeth, Dad? Sark has her? Why?"

Jack handed her a copy of a communiqué they had received that morning. Sark had detailed his demands, including the release of Joseph Spencer in exchange for Elizabeth's safe return. The other Rambaldi artifacts, including the fluid, would be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

It seemed that Sark was only interested in lining his pockets this time around.

He had no idea that they were after the fluid to revive Nadia and revealing that information would, of course, give him the upper hand.

"The CIA and MI-6 refuse to negotiate with Sark, especially given his connection to international terrorists."

"But you have a plan?" Sydney assumed.

"Yes. Officially, the CIA will not deal with Sark. Unofficially, APO is authorized to take him out.

"Sark gave a location and time for the exchange, I will inform him that the meet is on and that he must bring the artifacts with him."

Will came into the room carrying JM. "I'm sorry Syd, Mr. Bristow," he inclined his head toward Jack. "The little guy needs his mommy; he's hungry." He handed off the baby, kissing JM's cheek, then Sydney's.

She took her son as Jack stood to leave. "Dad, whatever you're planning . . . please be safe and bring Elizabeth back us," Sydney pulled him into a loose embrace. "I'll see you soon."

"Son of a bitch!" Jack yelped as he felt the burn of a bullet tear through his right thigh. He kept moving, though, intent on getting to Elizabeth. They had very little time before the C-4 he'd placed in the storage room with the Rambaldi artifact detonated. He had already taken the vials of fluid and placed them in his flak jacket.

Jack rounded a corner, stopped and quickly took aim at the two men chasing him. He emptied the clip, dropping them both, then reloaded. Three doors down, he stood face to face with Sark. He could see Elizabeth sitting, hands tied, behind the young Brit.

Her eyes widened as she took in his appearance. Face blackened to help blend in with the night, blood dripping from his mouth and nose. Jack was just thankful his dark clothes hid the blood staining his thigh. There was no telling how she'd have reacted to _that_.

"Jack," Sark began, "I was under the impression you would be bringing me a present: my . . . father and payment for the artifacts. I must confess, I'm rather disappointed. I was hoping the CIA would play it safe."

"How sad for you. Your guards are dead, and in about eight minutes your storage area is going to be blown sky high. Release Agent Powell and perhaps I can convince the CIA to have some leniency with you." Jack struggled to keep his voice even.

"You're bluffing."

"It's possible."

Sark pulled his Glock and aimed it at Jack. Elizabeth sucked in a breath. Trying to stay as unobtrusive as possible, she pushed herself to her feet, barely taking in the conversation. Sark cocked the gun and she was unable to restrain her cry.

"_NO_!"

He swung around before she could reach him. Sark didn't hesitate in firing; fortunately for Elizabeth, he hadn't had enough time to aim and the bullet only pierced her shoulder. Unfortunately, he regrouped quickly, this time aiming for her head. Without looking back, he said, "Say good-bye to your lady love, Jack."

As he pulled the trigger, Jack lunged forward. He knocked Sark off balance, altering the trajectory of the bullet so it only grazed Elizabeth's temple. Still, she dropped, unconscious, to the floor.

Sark's gun jammed as he attempted to fire on the older agent. Instead, he barreled over Jack, who was already weakened by the injury to his leg. When he regained his equilibrium, Sark was gone.

Jack crawled to Elizabeth's side, "Oh, God. Elizabeth, sweetheart, can you hear me?"

A muffled groan was his only answer. He ripped the sheets from the cot into several strips and bandaged her wounds the best he could. There was a safehouse several blocks away; he could do a better job there.

Jack placed his arms underneath Elizabeth's knees and shoulders. He grunted with the effort of lifting her and a small sheen of sweat appeared on his brow before he managed to get to his feet.

He was able to get them about a block away before he heard the explosion. He kept himself on his feet, taking another 20 minutes to make it to the safehouse. He called for the extraction team and was told it would be 90 minutes.

Jack rummaged through the first aid kit, withdrawing betadine and bandages. With a muttered apology, he cleaned both of Elizabeth's wounds, wrapping gauze around them tightly. Then he turned his attention to his own injury.

Hi ripped his pants open, swearing his he did so, "God damn it!" The betadine stung like hell.

"Jack?" Elizabeth's voice was barely audible. "What happened to you?"

"I'm fine. Just a scratch."

She gave him a look that clearly said she wasn't buying it. But she had other more pressing questions. "Where are we? How did we get here? Did you retrieve the Rambaldi fluid?"

"We're in a CIA safehouse in Bucharest; I have two ampules of the fluid." He left her second question unanswered.

"How did we get here, Jack?"

"I carried you."

"Oh, for God's safe! Look at your leg . . . Ohhh," she moaned as her head throbbed.

"You can chastise me later," Jack slapped a bandage on his thigh, grimacing through the pain. "Please, just relax. The extraction team will be here soon."

He moved his chair next to the bed and ran his hand through her bloodied hair. She sighed, taking his free hand in her own. "You look like hell, you know."

"Try looking in a mirror, sweetheart," he replied, wryly. "Close your eyes. I'll wake you when they get here."

As Elizabeth's breathing evened out, Jack had to shake himself awake every few minutes. He needed to monitor her; she most assuredly had a concussion. After a while, though, he couldn't fight his own pain and he gave into his exhaustion.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Two days later, Jack awoke in a sterile hospital room completely disoriented. He heard a couple of low voices as he took in his surroundings; he recognized one as his daughter's.

"He's going to wake up soon and will just demand it. She's his fiancée, not some stranger. And if I know my dad, he can make your staff pretty miserable until he gets what he wants. Just move one of them."

"Where's Elizabeth?" Jack's voice was scratchy from disuse.

Sydney rolled her eyes at the intern as if to say, 'I told you so.' "Dad, I'm glad you're awake. How do you feel?" She gave him a small hug around the tubes.

"Like I've been shot. Where's Elizabeth?" he repeated.

"She's fine, she's recovering . . . in another room."

Jack looked at the doctor, "We can share. I would like to be in the same room as my fiancée."

"Mr. Bristow, I understand. But Ms. Powell . . ."

"No buts. You make the arrangements to move one of us or I will get out of this bed and walk there myself!" The expression on Jack's face brooked no argument.

"Give me 15 minutes." The doctor backed out of the room.

Sydney sat next to her father and took his hand. "You shouldn't get so worked up. You just had surgery to repair your lateral femoral artery along with several adjoining muscles in your leg."

"I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm not the one who took a bullet to the temple. How is Elizabeth?"

"She's still unconscious. They repaired the damaged to her shoulder and head. They said that you did a good job in staunching the flow of blood for both wounds . . ."

Elizabeth's bed was wheeled into the room. Nurses hooked all of her monitors back up, then left Dr. Julia Austin to deal with the cranky patient. Dr. Austin was the chief of surgery at St. Catherine's and not someone to trifle with.

"Mr. Bristow, understand that I'm giving in to your 'request' because there are no negative consequences for my patient. In fact, you two can probably help each other in recovery," she began.

"Why is she still unconscious?" Jack interrupted.

She glared at him before answering. "We've been keeping Ms. Powell in a medically induced coma in order to allow her time to heal. We've taken her off the sedatives as of this morning and now she'll wake up on her own schedule."

"She _will_ wake up?"

"There is no reason to think otherwise. The shoulder wound was an easy fix and the bullet that hit her head merely glanced off the skull. But that _is_ the injury we were most concerned about.

"Can I ask you . . . did she regain consciousness at any time before your extraction?"

"About 30 minutes after she was shot, she woke up. We had a lucid conversation; it only lasted about five minutes before I told her to go back to sleep. Why?" Jack was concerned.

"It's just good to have all pertinent information in her chart. And it's good that she was lucid, puts her in a better spot for coming around quicker. If either of you need anything don't hesitate to ask for me.

After the doctor left, the room was quiet save for the incessant noises of the heart monitors. Jack stared at Elizabeth, willing her to open her eyes.

"Give her some time, Dad," Sydney said, softly.

He nodded. "How are you and JM? And Will?" he added as an afterthought.

"We're all doing just fine. No more croup, thank God. Will's staying with him right now. In fact, I need to get back; he's got an interview with a local newspaper. He's willing to do just about anything to get a job. Will feels like he's taking advantage of me," Sydney explained.

"Tell Will I'm sorry about screwing up his career. If he needs any help . . . a reference . . ."

"Thanks. I'll let him know," she rolled her eyes. "Do you need anything before I go?"

"Could you ask if an orderly would move me closer to Elizabeth?" Jack asked, quietly.

A few minutes later, their beds were almost touching. When the orderly left, he asked Sydney to put down the rails on the two sides that were close. Once finished, she leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Don't worry. You'll both be ready for the wedding before you know it."

He gave a small smile and waved as she started for the door. "Give JM a hug and kiss from Grandpa."

The next morning, Jack glanced over at Elizabeth hoping she was awake. Her eyes were still closed, though. He took her hand and rubbed it gently.

"Come on, sweetheart. You've been sleeping long enough. I miss you," Jack encouraged.

Elizabeth's eyes remained stubbornly shut.

"I want to see those beautiful green eyes staring up at me. We've got a wedding to organize and I'm _not_ doing it alone. Elizabeth . . . _please_ . . . wake up . . . for me?" Jack was playing his ace, hoping it would penetrate her opiate riddled brain.

Her head lolled away from him, but he could see her eyelids begin to flutter.

"That's it, open your eyes, you can do it . . ."

"Jack?" Elizabeth rested her gaze on him.

"Yes," he kissed her palm.

"What happened?" She was fuzzy on a lot of details.

Jack was save from having to answer when Dr. Austin came in, making rounds. "Ah, good. You're awake."

She did an exam on both of them and explained Elizabeth's injuries to her. Later in the week they'd being PT for their injured limbs. In the meantime, they were to keep those limbs immobile. To that end, Jack was to be fitted for a leg brace and Elizabeth's shoulder would be kept wrapped.

At last, Dr. Austin left them alone and Jack was able to kiss Elizabeth, gently brushing hair off her forehead. For a while, all they did was gaze at one another. Then she took his hand, needing some answers.

"Jack, tell me what happened."

He was a little worried at her memory loss, but Dr. Austin had said it was normal. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Being ambushed at the DSR."

Jack relayed the events of the last few days to her, sparing no details. He could see a flicker of recognition few times, but for the most part that time period was a blank slate. It was probably for the better, he reasoned.

"Were you able to retrieve the Rambaldi fluid?" she asked.

"Yes. Damn it!" Jack reached for the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure where it is now. I put it in my flak jacket, but I haven't seen it since. I'm calling Sydney; she should be able to find out."

That afternoon, Sydney brought good news along with contraband rations. "Your flak jacket and the rest of your belongings are being stored by the hospital. No one has access to them and you can get them back as soon as you request them."

"Thank you, Sydney," Jack breathed a sigh of relief. He looked at Elizabeth who smiled.

"So when do we hook up Nadia?" Sydney asked.

"In a few days. I want to be there and right now Nurse Ratched,' he smirked, referring to Dr. Austin, "won't let either of us out of bed."

Twenty-four hours later, Jack and Elizabeth finally started PT. They were scheduled to be release the following day, so he decided to visit Nadia that afternoon. He wanted Sydney and Elizabeth there when they began treatment and informed them of his intent.

Sydney had arrived with JM and Will in tow and was pleased to hear that they were moving forward. "We should all go up and see her," she suggested.

"Syd, this is a family thing. I don't . . ."

"Will, you are a part of this family. After everything we've gone through!"

Elizabeth smiled as Sydney's words to Will mirrored Jack's to her. She looked to Jack to gauge his reaction. His face was neutral, but his eyes gave him away. He liked Will and seemed not to have a problem with him accompanying them.

Sydney arranged for a wheelchair for Jack, but he insisted on using his crutches, at least part of the way. By the time they reached Nadia's room, he collapsed into the chair gratefully. They took turns speaking to Nadia gently. Sydney introduced Will and JM, who grabbed Nadia's hair and cooed delightedly.

When it was Jack's turn, Elizabeth called for Dr. Wallace. Jack held Nadia's hand as the IV was hooked up.

"Are you ready?" asked the doctor. The group nodded their assent and he started the drip.

After several long minutes Jack said quietly, "There's no way of telling how long this will take; if it even works. You'll let me know if there's any change?"

Dr. Wallace nodded and the little group left her room. Jack allowed himself to be wheeled back to his room, Will at the helm. He was deep in thought; hoping, no _praying_ that this treatment would bring Nadia back.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Jack and Elizabeth were released on Friday, after scheduling a physical therapist to visit. They spent the weekend stumbling around the apartment; Sydney brought them a few meals to help out.

Throughout the weekend, Jack became increasingly moody. He was frustrated by his mobility, Elizabeth could see, but it was more than that. She suspected he had hoped to hear from Dr. Wallace before the weekend was out. It was now Sunday evening and there had been no word from the hospital.

"Hey," she said now, "how are you doing?"

He looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. He didn't want to talk; he was aching, both physically and emotionally.

"Talk to me, Jack."

"My fucking leg hurts!" he replied angrily. Jack hadn't meant to sound so harsh.

"So do my arm and head." Elizabeth stalked away to the bedroom.

She loved Jack with all her heart, but there were times when he tested her patience. She was nursing her own injuries as well and wouldn't mind receiving some comfort rather than giving it all the time.

Jack remained on the couch brooding. He had wanted the serum to work so badly, but it had been 60 hours since the IV was started. If there had been any change, Dr. Wallace would have called.

He knew he was making things difficult for Elizabeth. He hated feeling weak, hated not being in control, hated that Nadia was still in a coma, and hated that he had once again hurt Elizabeth. Jack used his good leg to kick over the coffee table.

From the bedroom, Elizabeth heard the crash but remained where she was. She was hurt by Jack's gradual withdrawal over the weekend. He had become surly and uncommunicative and she wondered if part of it was due to the reduction of his pain meds. Right now, she didn't much care why; she only wanted him to be there for _her_. She felt tears run down her face as she lay down, face buried in the pillow.

In the living room Jack's sullen façade faded as he heard a faint sob coming from the other room. He was disgusted with himself. He could see every slight, every insensitive remark he'd ever made to Elizabeth; they flashed before his eyes, including this weekend.

Using his left leg to stabilize himself, he pushed up off the couch. He shunned his crutches, so the walls and furniture kept him upright on his way to the bedroom.

Elizabeth was curled up on the bed, facing away from the door, her shoulders shaking with repressed cries. Jack felt awful as he made his way to her. He stumbled a few feet away and her head shot up.

"Go away," she growled, tears staining her face.

He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. "No." Jack stroked his hand down her side and smoothed her hair away from her face.

"What do you want? I'm tired and I hurt!"

"I know I don't always say or do the right things. You have a thousand reasons to run screaming away from me. I'm sorry I've been such a jackass. I'm tired and sore. I'm worried about Sydney and JM and Nadia and you.

"And I'm angry. If this thing with Nadia doesn't help her, than I put you in danger for no reason. Shot twice on a whim of Arvin Sloane's"

Elizabeth's head was back on the pillow, allowing Jack's gentle caress to soothe her. "You've got to stop blaming yourself. I volunteered for the mission. I wanted to help. And if this doesn't work . . . at least you know you've tried everything.

"But Jack, if you _ever_ yell at me like that again . . ." she let the threat hang.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again. "I love you, sweetheart."

It wasn't until Wednesday that they finally heard from Dr. Wallace. He didn't give any specifics, but he wanted them to come to the hospital as soon as possible.

Jack's heart lurched as he and Elizabeth approached Nadia's room. Dr. Wallace was waiting for them. _It has to be bad news_, he thought.

Elizabeth grabbed his hand, hoping to steady his reaction. _It has to be bad news_, she thought.

Jack met the doctor's eyes expectantly and braced himself.

"Well, Mr. Bristow, I'm not sure . . . That is to say . . . I have no idea how . . ."

Jack was ready to throttle the man. "Spit it out!"

"Look for yourselves. It's astonishing!"

They stepped into the room and found Nadia sitting up in bed, eating. Her eyes lit up when she saw Jack.

"Jack! Dr. Wallace told me I've been unconscious for almost ten months? What happened to me? Where is Sydney? What happened to my mother and father?" Nadia fired questions at him.

Jack was slightly overwhelmed by all of her questions, not to mention the fact that she was conscious and actually _could_ speak. He cleared his throat, attempting to get a grip on his rioting emotions.

"A lot has happened," he started.

"I know. I just want to get caught up."

Elizabeth exchanged a glance with Jack. It was like nothing had happened to her; she was ready to pick up right where she left off.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude," Nadia held out her hand. "Nadia Santos."

"Elizabeth Powell."

"Are you with APO as well?"

She nodded and waited for Jack's lead on what to reveal at this point.

"Elizabeth is my fiancée," he supplied.

"A lot _has_ happened," Nadia repeated and smiled at the couple.

Dr. Wallace stepped into the room. "As you can see, it's as though nothing was ever wrong with Ms. Santos."

Jack pulled him aside. "Physically? Emotionally? She's fine?"

"I had a psychologist speak with her. Dr. Cameron believes that Ms. Santos is ready to deal with whatever you need to tell her about these last months. She's also available for any of you should the need arise. But Ms. Santos will be released in a day or so."

Jack put out his hand and shook the doctor's. "Thank you for all your help." Then he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Sydney.

"Hi Dad," she answered breathlessly. In the background JM could be heard crying. "What's going on?"

"Is JM all right?" he asked.

"Will's just changing him. I'm sure you didn't call to hear about your grandson's diaper. What's up?"

"I'm at the hospital. There's someone who'd like to speak to you." Jack handed the phone to Nadia, mouthing, "It's Sydney."

"Sydney?"

"Nadia? You're awake!"

He let the two sisters talk for several minutes before motioning for his phone back. "Sydney, do you have room for Nadia at your place?"

"Of course. Will and I can move things around. When will she be released?"

"Ok. I'm coming to see Nadia this afternoon. Can you and Elizabeth watch JM? I'd like her to meet Will but I don't want to bring JM to the hospital again."

"Not a problem. Sydney, I haven't said anything about the last ten months. I'd like to do that after Nadia comes home," Jack said.

Sydney took the hint. "We can have a family meeting once Nadia has settled in. I'm going to call Weiss. He needs to be told; he had feelings for her."

"All right. We'll be by in a couple of hours." Jack ended the call in time to hear a gushing Nadia.

"I can't believe Sydney is a mother! I'm an aunt! I can't wait to meet him! Jack," she said as he joined them, "will you answer my questions now?"

"There will be plenty of time for that. Sydney will be along this afternoon and Dr. Wallace said you'll be released on Friday. We can discuss everything you missed in a more comfortable environment," Jack's tone, although gentle, brooked no argument.

"Will you at least explain how you cured me?"

Jack gritted his teeth. "Arvin explained that the Rambaldi fluid could be used to counter-act the effects of the Mueller device you were exposed to in Sevogda."

"And you believe him?"

"I had my reasons."

I'll accept that . . . for now. But on Friday, I'll want detailed explanations."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

After a home cooked meal of baked ziti, courtesy of Sydney and Will, the small group sat in Sydney's living room. Eric Weiss sat next to Nadia, smiling broadly; he'd never moved on after she had been 'taken off the respirator.' Once Jack had revealed that she was alive and at St. Catherine's, he'd visited a couple of times a week, ever hopeful of a recovery. Sydney sat on Nadia's other side, Will next to her. Jack and Elizabeth sat on the loveseat, facing the younger generation.

As Jack began, he tried not to make his speech sound like a mission briefing. "These last several months have been a trying time for all of us here. Nadia, you have truly been missed. And when Michael died, it doubled our loss.

"You need to know that Irina is dead. So are her sisters." He explained the circumstances, not surprised to see tears running down his younger daughter's face. Both Sydney and Eric had their arms around her in comfort.

"I understand why they needed to be eliminated. It's just that . . . I never knew my parents until recently. My mother . . . I had . . . three days with her. And I mourn that, in spite of all she did," Nadia tried to explain her grief.

"You don't have to justify your feelings," Sydney answered.

After a few moments, Nadia collected herself enough to ask, "What about my father?"

Jack tensed, then forced himself to relax when Elizabeth touched his shoulder. "Arvin Sloane is in a federal prison awaiting his court date. There he'll be tried on a multitude of charges, including, but not limited to: breaking his agreement with the CIA, conspiracy to kidnap a federal agent, and treason. He'll most likely be found guilty and executed."

"Jack! A little more tact!" Eric challenged him as he saw Nadia's grief increase in an instant. She buried her head in the crook of his neck.

It hurt Nadia that both of her parents were as good as dead, but it pained her even more that they had been such evil people. She heard people shifting around and lifted her head.

Sydney and Will exchanged a look; Jack was now pacing as Elizabeth watched with concern. Nadia realized there was something else going on.

"What haven't you told me?" she demanded.

When Jack only continued to pace, Elizabeth stepped in front of him. "You need to tell her. It will be all right," she murmured.

As always, her voice helped to soothe his nerves and he sat. "When Sloane told he about using the Rambaldi fluid, I had my doubts. And I wasn't sure it was my place to make the decision."

Jack sighed and rubbed his face before continuing. He hadn't imagined this being so hard. "I had my suspicions about who your father really was. There were a few things that didn't add up; hints from both Irina and Arvin. Before I made the decision to let you be infused with the fluid, I had to know the truth.

"I ran a DNA test to determine your true paternity. Arvin Sloane is not your father."

Nadia looked bewildered. "Then who is?"

"You're _my_ daughter," he said, quietly.

The silence that followed his pronouncement was deafening. Eric looked stunned while Nadia appeared to be in shock.

"I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear . . ." Sydney and Elizabeth shot daggers at him.

Sydney spoke softly to Nadia. "Sloane isn't your father; I would say that's a good thing. I know it's a lot to take in, but Dad went through a lot to make this happen. He's a good man, Nadia. I know I haven't always gotten along with him, but the truth is that he loves his family. He would die for them."

Finally, Nadia allowed herself to meet Jack's eyes. She could see the emotions he was trying to hide: hope, fear, and most of all, love. She moved from her position beside Eric to sit beside Jack. She put her arms around him a tentative hug, relaxing as she felt him return the embrace.

"Thank you," she whispered, brokenly.

"What for?"

"For bringing me back, for giving me a _real_ family."

With everything out in the open, the rest of the evening took a decided upturn. Eventually, the discussion led to wedding plans.

"Have you two set a date?" Nadia asked, eagerly.

"With everything that's gone on, we've barely had time to breathe, let alone plan a wedding," answered Elizabeth.

"I was thinking May," Jack offered tentatively.

Three women stared at him in shock.

"What?"

"You do realize that women like to plan elaborate weddings, don't you, Jack?" Eric laughed.

"Mid-May is six weeks away. Surely that's enough time."

The sisters rolled their eyes while Elizabeth answered diplomatically. "We can make that work, love."

Eric left shortly after, kissing Nadia's cheek. He chose not to notice the look of death shot his way. Will had told him earlier that Jack was simply protective.

Jack and Elizabeth lingered another few minutes, then headed out themselves. He had upgraded to a cane during this morning's PT session and felt much more dignified. After Elizabeth hugged the trio, Jack shook Will's hand and kissed his two daughters.

"I'm glad you're my father, Jack. At least _one_ of my parents has a conscious. You've given me a second chance at a family and I'll forever be grateful," Nadia kissed his cheek, something she'd never done to Arvin Sloane. She felt more comfortable in two hours of knowing Jack was her father than in one year of thinking that Arvin filled that role.

Over the next two weeks, Jack and Elizabeth spent their mornings at PT, afternoons at APO tracking Sark and preparing for Sloane's trial, and evenings at home making wedding plans. They generally agreed on most aspects (while interested, Jack thought it safer to go with Elizabeth's choices).

There was one aspect that Jack would not be moved on, however. Elizabeth wanted to be married in a church by a priest and he wanted no part of that. Jack considered himself agnostic but couldn't see himself coming to terms with a god who had allowed such horrible things to happen to his family, let alone tolerate the evil that ran rampant daily.

They were in the middle of discussing it for the tenth time when the phone rang. Elizabeth, glad to free herself from the frustrating topic, answered. After a moment she handed the phone to Jack.

"It's a Dr. Atticus Liddell."

"I'll take it in the other room."

Elizabeth frowned. Their relationship had progressed beyond secrets, she thought.

He was back after a few moments and replaced the phone in its cradle. Elizabeth stared at him expectantly. When Jack didn't respond to her unanswered question, she let her annoyance from their church discussion spill over.

"Do you want to tell me what that was about? Who is Dr. Liddell?"

Jack hesitated then said, "He's an old friend."

"And? That wasn't a social call or you would have stayed in here and talked." Elizabeth forestalled any more half-truths.

With a sigh, he relented. "Do you remember last year, when I was in the hospital? After Vaughn disappeared with Nightingale's coil?"

"Yes. You told me you were recovering from a gunshot wound that went septic. What does Dr. Liddell have to do with that?" Elizabeth had softened at the memory.

Early last March, she'd written to Jack and became concerned when he didn't respond as quickly as usual. It was a month before he got in touch with her again. In his letter, he'd explained that he'd been shot during a mission and it had become infected. Elizabeth had been so relieved; she'd thought he'd been captured or killed.

Jack felt guilty at perpetuating the lie, but it didn't stop him from continuing the deceit. The radiation poisoning had made him more vulnerable then he'd ever been and it was bad enough that Sydney had witnessed it.

He continued with his partial truth. "Dr. Liddell was the doctor who treated me; he has been a friend for a long time. He's going to be in the area next week and wanted to check up on me. As you can imagine, Atticus was thrilled to hear about my latest injuries."

Elizabeth suspected there was more to the story than Jack was telling. There was no reason for him to keep Dr. Liddell a secret. She let it go, but resolved to speak with Sydney about it.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

The next day, Elizabeth met with Sydney; mostly to continue planning the wedding, but she also wanted to find out more about Dr. Liddell. She decided the direct approach was best.

"Your father got a call from Dr. Liddell last night," she began.

Sydney looked apprehensive. "What did he want?"

"He wanted to check up on Jack after treating him last year."

"What has Dad told you?" Sydney was on to Elizabeth. There were only a handful of people who knew exactly what her father had gone through. She didn't doubt that he hadn't told Elizabeth the whole story.

"He told me Dr. Liddell treated him for a gunshot wound that went septic," said Elizabeth. When the younger woman sighed, her suspicions were confirmed. "But that's not what happened, is it?"

"No, it isn't. Elizabeth I'm only going to tell you the basics of what happened. If Dad wants to give you the full account, that up to him.

"I was trapped in Nightingale's reaction chamber. Michael and Marshall tried to deactivate the system to get me out. Finally, it appeared that Marshall had succeeded; I found out later that Dad had gone into the room that houses the fuel rods to the reactor core. He manually overrode the controls and exposed himself to massive amounts of radiation.

"Suffice it to say that he became very ill and no one knew until it was almost too late. But he managed to hallucinate the one person who would be able to help him."

"Dr. Liddell," surmised Elizabeth.

"Yeah. We were able to locate and bring him back to APO. Dr. Liddell saved Dad's life," Sydney was teary-eyed at this point. "I almost lost him, Elizabeth. We were just beginning to come to a better place between us; I had been such a bitch to him about Mo . . . Irina."

Elizabeth put her arms around her soon-to-be step-daughter. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. But I'm not surprised he'd risk his life for you; he loves you so much. I _do_ wish Jack had told me."

"It was tough for him. He wouldn't have wanted you to see him like that. There's a lot more to the story than what I told you. But I'd feel like I was invading Dad's privacy if I told you any more," Sydney explained. "Did Dad say if he was actually going to meet with Dr. Liddell?"

"I'm not sure; he didn't give me any details. If he does go, I want to be with him."

"You should talk to Dad. Tell him that you know the truth. See what he says."

Elizabeth waited until after dinner to broach the subject of Dr. Liddell again. "I talked with Sydney today," she started.

"Mm hmm." Jack was distracted by the mission debriefs he was reviewing in order to prep for Sloane's trial.

"She told me about Dr. Liddell."

Jack went completely still as the statement hung in the air. He should have known that Elizabeth wouldn't have taken his explanation as the only version. But how couldn't Sydney have violated his privacy?

"Sydney said you walked into a room filled with radioactive fuel rods to save her. You risked your own life for hers. Why wouldn't you tell me? If not then, why not now?" When she glanced over at him, Elizabeth could see that Jack was sitting rigidly. Not a muscle twitched. Whatever had happened as a result of the radiation poisoning had truly frightened him.

"Jack, talk to me. Tell me what you went through."

Whatever reaction she was expecting wasn't what she got. Jack stood without saying a word, walked to the bedroom and slammed the door. Elizabeth had no idea what to think. She stayed in the library; randomly selecting books to read and putting them back after just few pages.

She gave him his space, several hours of it, before deciding it was safe to join him in bed. Elizabeth assumed he would be asleep, but when she opened the door she could see him lying, fully clothed on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Jack had spent the last few hours reliving the horrible few weeks of his illness. He had never wanted to think about that period in his life again. Jack was angry with Atticus for calling, angry with Elizabeth for digging into his past, and angry with Sydney for revealing his secret.

He had thought he was losing his mind. There were times when he couldn't distinguish reality from his hallucinations. The one thing Jack could always rely on, his intellect, had been taken away by a ruthless and unseen foe.

Jack refused to make eye contact, even as Elizabeth undressed and slipped beneath the bedspread. She rolled on her side, away from him, a sure sign that she was upset. Still Jack heard her murmur, "I love you."

Their conversation over the next few days was stilted. Jack was dreading his upcoming appointment with Atticus and Elizabeth resented being kept in the dark. The tension between them was so noticeable that their co-workers at APO stayed out of their way. Only Marshall was willing to inquire as to the cause.

He went to Elizabeth of course, knowing better than to approach Jack when he was in that kind of mood. "Uh, Ms. Powell, Agent Powell," Marshall hurried to catch up with her.

She stopped and gave him a small smile. Elizabeth found the young Op Tech agent endearing. He'd also been one of the most enthusiastic supporters of the engagement.

"I, uh . . . this may be none of my business . . . but I was wondering . . . you and Mr. Bristow . . . you don't seem to be . . . well . . . talking. Is there anything I can do to . . . I don't know . . . help?" Marshall stuttered.

"That's very sweet, but I don't . . . Wait," she stopped and thought a moment. Jack might kill her for going behind his back again but . . . "Last year, when Jack was sick . . . do you know anything about what happened?"

Marshall's face fell. He had been stunned when he had realized what Jack had done, exposing himself to the reactor rods. Marshall had gone to Jack when he'd figured out that he wasn't the one who had shut down Nightingale. As he'd spoken with Jack, he's finally concluded that Jack had done it and had been sworn to secrecy.

Marshall wasn't sure if he should say anything, but Elizabeth and Jack both looked miserable. "You can't tell Mr. Bristow I told you . . . he'll kill me."

After she agreed, he continued, "Mr. Bristow didn't seem like he was concerned at all about the radiation. So I managed to get some of his DNA without him realizing . . . I was pretty clever if I do say so myself . . . Just sign off on these expense accounts . . ."

"Marshall?"

"What? Oh . . . anyway when I got the results back I realized how serious it was. I tried to get Mr. Bristow to see a doctor . . . to tell Sydney. He said he was handling it.

"It took three weeks for us to figure out how well he was 'handling' it. He didn't show up for work one day so Sydney went looking for him. She found him in a drug house with a needle full of God-knows-what sticking out of his arm."

"_Marshall_!" This time it was Jack Bristow's booming voice that interrupted him.

Marshall glanced from one agent to the other and then ran for his life. Jack barely spared him a departing glower; his eyes were pinned to Elizabeth.

"You knew I didn't want to discuss that. Why would you deliberately go behind my back?"

"You've shut down before my very eyes; it scares me that you won't talk to me. I don't understand why you won't let me in after _everything_ we've been through!"

"Because it's none of your _damn _business!" Jack roared. His rage over the whole incident boiled over.

Elizabeth slapped him, hard. "I'm your fiancée; it _is_ my business. But if you're too much of a selfish bastard to see how much I care about you then maybe I shouldn't be." She turned on her heel and left APO without another word to anyone.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Will was walking by the exercise facilities when he saw Jack beating the shit out of a boxing bag. Will had been called in by Dixon who'd offered him his old job back. He had readily agreed (the job at the newspaper hadn't paid off), knowing he'd be able to spend more time with Sydney and JM.

Several of the more gossipy agents had informed him of the very public blow up between Jack and Elizabeth. And while Will hadn't deliberately gone looking for him, he was glad he'd found Jack.

He stepped into the room, careful to dodge Jack's attack on the bag. Will managed to tap him on the shoulder. Jack stared at him. "What?" he growled.

"Listen, Jack . . . I . . . You still scare the hell out of me but someone needs to tell you what an ass you're being. I don't know exactly what's going on between you and Elizabeth but . . . well . . . You've been happier than anyone's ever seen you."

"Who the _hell_ are you to tell me how to deal with my fiancée? We are _not_ friends . . ."

"Maybe not. But I do respect you and I love your daughter. And that's why you need to listen to me. Before I left the apartment, Elizabeth showed up in tears. Your daughters are _not_ happy with you, Jack.

"Whatever you've done wrong . . . just apologize. That's the best advice I can give," Will said.

Jack didn't respond; he turned back to the bag and started his routine again. He heard Will leave and relaxed his stance. It's not that Will didn't have a point, it's just that Jack knew that he would need more than an apology to fix the mess he'd made.

That night, Jack came home to an empty apartment. It was just as well; he still hadn't come up with a way to make amends with Elizabeth. He knew that all she wanted was for him to be honest with her.

Elizabeth could read him like a book, Jack knew. She had realized how badly this illness had thrown him and simply wanted to be there for him. But this was something so painful to him that he'd buried it deeper than any of the other demons that plagued him.

Jack sat on the couch long into the night. His head in his hands, he wracked his brain for a solution.

After Elizabeth had slapped Jack, she left APO. She managed to make it through Sydney's front door before the tears spilled over.

"I just wanted to help him," she sobbed. Elizabeth had no idea why she had turned into an emotional wreck. Usually she could keep her head, using logic to solve the problem at hand. But now logic was overshadowed by her deep love for Jack. All she knew right now was that she couldn't deal with him, couldn't see him.

When she pulled herself together, she related the full story to her soon-to-be step-daughters. Needless to say, both girls were pissed on her behalf.

"I can't imagine the look on Jack . . . Dad's face," Nadia said.

"He was a bit stunned, but to be honest I don't think it did much good. He's still as stubborn as ever.

"I just don't understand; with everything he's shared with me . . . Why is this any different?" Elizabeth looked from one to the other.

"I'm not defending him," Sydney began slowly, "but he was really thrown by this. Dad put up a good front to most. But . . . I could see how scared he was, before and after the treatment.

"And no, I'm still no going to tell you; neither will Nadia," She gave her sister the look of death. "It's too personal."

"Why don't you stay here tonight?" offered Nadia.

"Where on Earth would you put me?"

"I'll sleep on the daybed in JM's room; you can my bed and Will can have the couch." Sydney quickly rearranged things.

"I can't take your bed . . . or Will's!"

"It's for one night. He'll live," Sydney smiled.

Elizabeth took her up on the offer but she didn't sleep well that night. She missed having Jack's arms around her waist, pulling her flush with his body. She stared at her engagement ring, twisting it.

There was no doubt in her mind that she loved Jack, wanted to marry him, despite what she'd said to him at the office. But how to repair the rift between them? Elizabeth realized what a devastating effect her words and subsequent actions could have on Jack. She didn't want him to feel abandoned again.

Elizabeth stayed with Sydney and Nadia that weekend. Sydney was sent to retrieve clothes while Will and Nadia warded off an understandably upset Jack. Elizabeth wasn't ready to talk to him; she didn't know what she could say that would make up for her outburst. And she didn't think she could take it if he told her to stay out of his business again.

Sunday evening Jack showed up in person, a single white rose in hand. Elizabeth answered the door and was unable to hide her surprise.

"Jack? What are you doing here?"

"Sydney called. She said you wanted to see me . . ."

Comprehension dawned on both of their faces. Jack walked past Elizabeth and called, "Sydney Anne Bristow!"

Nadia appeared, exiting the nursery. "Be quiet, Jack. JM just went down. Sydney and Will went out to dinner."

"Effectively escaping the wrath of Agent Jack Bristow," a smile tugged at Elizabeth's mouth, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Nadia glanced from one to the other. She could see the hurt still lingering in both of their expressions. "You two need to talk. You love each other; don't let this argument tear you apart!"

With that proclamation, she left them alone. Neither spoke until Jack handed her the rose. "I'm sorry. I've missed you."

"I missed you, too. Nadia was right; we have to clear this up," she took his hand and led him to Sydney's room.

He sat heavily on the edge of the bed, unconsciously rubbing his thigh. He had been off the pain meds for almost a week and occasionally his leg still ached. Jack saw the concern flash across her face and waved it off.

"It's fine. You're doing all right?" When she nodded, he continued. "I'm no sure I'm ready to talk about what happened to me."

Elizabeth sat on the corner opposite Jack; she wanted to weep for him but held back. "You hurt so much and yet you dismiss your pain. All I wanted was to help you through this, to understand why it's affected you so badly.

"You had the courage to tell me about Geiger, about solitary. Why not this? That's why I went to Sydney and Marshall."

"When I was sick," he began, "it was the most frightening experience I've ever had, next to Sydney's missing tow years. I don't talk about it because I don't like the way it makes me feel: out of control. I don't want to revisit that place.

"What exactly do you know?"

The non sequitur gave her a brief pause. "Only what Sydney and Marshall told me. You save Sydney's life by deactivating Nightingale's reactor. That exposed you to life-threatening amounts of radiation, which caused you to have hallucinations. You were so ill that you were found injecting yourself with an unknown substance. And Dr. Liddell was eventually found and cured you.

"Sydney wouldn't tell me anything else and she swore Nadia to secrecy as well. She said the rest was too personal; you would have to tell me when and _if_ you chose," Elizabeth gave him a brief synopsis.

"Protecting their old man, are they?" There was a hint of a smile around Jack's mouth.

She moved closer and smiled back. "You're not old. You're the youngest grandfather I know," Elizabeth teased as she took his hand.

"Just how many grandfathers do you know?" he looked at her askew.

"Only one who really matters," her voice was low and husky. Three days away, in spite of her fury, had made Elizabeth long to be in his arms again. She leaned closer, ignoring the questions in his eyes.

When their lips touched, all the tension between them vanished; it was like coming home, for both of them. Jack sighed his relief into her mouth. He knew he'd been close to losing the love of his life.

Elizabeth heard the door open and, from the corner of her eyes, saw Will and Sydney. They were oblivious to her and Jack as they were locked in their own embrace. Elizabeth tried to pull away, but Jack wouldn't let her, murmuring a quiet, "Not yet."

It was enough to bring Sydney back to the real world. "Dad!"

"Sydney!" He could feel the tips of his ears turn red.

Will kept his arms around Sydney, unwilling to be intimidated by the thunderous expression on Jack's face. _We're in a situation straight out of a nightmare_. _The kind where you go to school naked and don't realize it until you get up to present a paper to the class_, Will concluded mentally.

_Parents should not see their kids making out and kids sure as hell should not see their parents in sexual situations._ Sydney was desperately trying not to giggle at the thought of her father in bed. She was 32 years old and was reduced to the maturity level of a 10 year old.

"I guess you two are speaking?" Will asked when it was clear Sydney was too mortified to say anything.

Elizabeth answered, "Yes. And I do believe we moved our conversation . . ." Sydney a choked laugh at this. ". . . back to our place."

She grabbed her bag and tugged Jack to his feet. "Thank you for letting me stay, Sydney. We'll talk later, all right? Tell Nadia good night for us."

The last thing they heard was Sydney's groan, "I can't believe I just caught my _dad_ making out on _my bed_!"


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

When they arrived home, Elizabeth quietly led Jack to the bedroom. There, she divested them both of their clothes and continued their trek into the shower. She thought back to the last time they shared a shower; it had led to a marriage proposal. Now it was truly a cleansing, for body and soul.

Their hands wandered, not with sexual intent, but rather a soothing, tender motion. The words and deeds of the previous days while not forgotten were forgiven in the steady cascade of water, an absolution of sorts.

When they were dry, Jack carried her to bed then kissed his way down her body. He gently pushed her thighs apart and unerringly made his way to the bundle of nerves at the apex. He used his mouth to slowly, deliciously tease her to orgasm.

Jack crawled up the bed and balanced on his forearm, watching Elizabeth as she came down from her high. "I love you," he whispered.

She met his eyes and returned the sentiment when she was able to catch her breath. "I'm never going to leave you," Elizabeth needed to give him that reassurance. He hadn't said so, but she knew it was something that haunted him.

His father left his family on a regular basis, Irina had manipulated then abandoned him, Elizabeth herself had left, and Sydney had gone missing for two years. Jack's life was filled with people leaving him and she'd insinuated that she would do the same; it filled her with shame.

"I'm sorry I threatened to end the engagement. I love you, Jack. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You were trying to help and I acted like a selfish bastard. You were right on that count. And I can't promise I won't act like that again, but I won't give up on us."

"I won't give up on us either. Or you," she added as she pulled him to her. After a few moments, she slid off the bed.

"Where . . ."

"I'll be right back. I want you to hear something." She came back and popped a CD into the player. "I heard this song on the radio this morning. It's always reminded me of you. Just listen to the lyrics."

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart 

_Without saying a word you can light up the dark_

_Try as I may I could never explain_

_What I hear when you don't say a thing_

_The smile on your face let's me know that you need me_

_There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if I ever fall_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

_All day long I hear people talking out loud_

_But when you me near you drown out the crowd_

_Old Mr. Webster could never define_

_What's being said between your heart and mine_

_The smile on your face let's me know that you need me_

_There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if I ever fall_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

The song ended and Elizabeth spoke softly, "I have always been able to tell what you're feeling just be looking in your eyes. You're a man of few words and that's all right by me because we've always had a special connection. You make me feel alive just by being in the same room. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to give me long-winded speeches, telling me all about your feelings. Just be with me. And let me help you when you need it."

Jack gathered her close, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For understanding me. For not leaving me when you've had every right. I would most certainly not be here if you weren't in my life. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you've made me."

He kissed her again and Elizabeth could feel his erection pressing against her thigh. It reminded her that while she had gotten satisfaction, he had yet to find his release.

As they lay facing each other Elizabeth let her hands wander, caressing Jack's chest. He moaned his appreciation as they slipped lower, stroking his hot length and positioning him at her opening. He sank into to her slowly, savoring the sensation.

Jack took his time, moving languorously despite the growing urge to thrust harder. He wanted this to last as long he could make it. Elizabeth squeezed him with her inner muscles, causing them both to groan.

He could tell she was close, so he slipped his hand between them and rubbed lightly. Her response was immediate and Jack let his own orgasm wash over him. After a few moments he caught his breath and started to move out of her.

"Stay, Jack. I like having you this close."

He eased into her embrace. "I love you, Elizabeth. Don't ever stop believing that."

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded against her breast. "When will you be meeting Dr. Liddell?"

Jack stiffened in her arms, but answered, "Thursday afternoon. At APO's medical center. Why?"

"I want to come with you. Not to pump him for information," she explained. "Just for support. I don't even have to come into the exam room. Just let me be there for you. I promise not to push you for details before or after your visit."

He willed himself to relax. She wanted to be there for moral support, no hidden agenda. "All right," Jack found himself relenting.

A couple of nights later, Elizabeth tossed and turned, plagued by bad dreams. In her sleep she cried out against a long-forgotten enemy.

"No . . . Don't _touch_ me! Leave me alone!"

Her cries roused Jack from his slumber. He rolled over to see Elizabeth tangled in the sheets, caught in the throes of a nightmare. In all their years together, he'd never known her to have bad dreams.

"Elizabeth . . . sweetheart . . . wake up . . ." He touched her shoulder gently, not wanting to frighten her.

"NO! I don't know anything! Don't . . ." she moaned.

"Wake up, sweetheart. No one's going to hurt you. You're safe," he tried to comfort her.

Elizabeth flailed, still fighting off the dream. Her hand struck Jack, the smack against his nose sounding abnormally loud. But the noise and her hand connecting with something solid seemed to bring her back to reality.

Tears smarted his eyes from the blow as he stroked her cheek. "Hey, you all right?"

She was still breathing heavily, but she let herself relax into his arms. Elizabeth met his gaze after a few moments. She saw a small trickle of blood coming from his nose.

"Did I do that?"

"What?"

She grabbed a tissue and wiped the blood away. "This," Elizabeth showed him.

"Oh. You were asleep, I'm fine. What about you? That was a pretty intense dream."

"A nightmare," she muttered, getting rid of the tissue.

As she settled back into his embrace, Jack asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Elizabeth thought a minute. It wasn't something many people knew about; she hadn't told Jack because he'd had enough to deal with. But every once in a while she relived that mission in her dreams.

Keeping her head on his chest, Elizabeth played with the smattering of hair she found there. Quietly she spoke.

"I was on a mission in Bosnia in 1992. I had been tasked to recover several documents crucial to British Intelligence. Sergei Dimitrov had killed four MI-5 agents when he stole them."

Jack felt his heart drop. Dimitrov was one of the cruelest freelancers in the intelligence community. "What happened?"

"We were taken by surprise. Only one other member of the assault team survived."

**1992**

_Elizabeth was dragged through the building, handcuffed; a hood prevented her from seeing where they were taking her. They tossed her into the cell before taking it off. She looked around, taking in her surroundings. The 10 x 10 cell was bare save for an ominous looking meat hook extending from the ceiling._

_For the better part of 36 hours, she was left alone. Then the two goons came back and tore the clothes from her body. The hook was lowered enough for the handcuffs to be slipped over it while her feet remained, just barely, on the ground. She was left in her bra and panties for another few hours before the door opened again._

_Dimitrov circled her a couple of time before speaking. "What were you and your people after?"_

_Elizabeth kept her face neutral and said nothing. His expression showed only lust but she refused to give into the fear growing inside her._

"_My dear, you are in a precarious situation. You don't want to piss me off; I can make things quite . . . unpleasant for you," he threatened._

"_I'm already uncomfortable," she shot back._

_This earned her a hard slap to her face. "I ask you again: What were you trying to acquire?"_

_Her silence gained her another slap, this time to her ass. Elizabeth's panic was mounting; Dimitrov was well-known for his sexual predilections. She had no illusions about what he might do to her._

_Dimitrov kept up his question for another hour, a slap administered for silence or for smart remarks. Her body was on fire from the stinging blows. At last she was taken down and thrown in the corner, her shoulder and arms aching from being strung up for so long._

_Elizabeth was given bread and water before the interrogation resumed several hours later. This time Dimitrov brought a knife. At her continued refusal to cooperate, he proceeded to cut off her bra, a little at a time. With her arms raised above her head, she had no defense when he began to grope her breasts._

"MI-5 sent another team when we didn't show at the rendezvous point; Whittier and I were both rescued. The second team located the documents and take out Dimitrov and his team," Elizabeth finished.

Jack's grip on her had tightened almost imperceptibly as she spoke. He didn't want to think about what could have happened to Elizabeth before the cavalry had arrived. He asked the question anyway.

"Did Dimitrov . . . did he . . . did he hurt you?" Jack couldn't bring himself to say the word.

Elizabeth lifted her head to meet Jack's troubled gaze. "No love, he didn't. But if the recovery team hadn't arrived when they did . . . Dimitrov was . . . ready. MacLaren took him out when he went for his gun."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he tugged her close. "You never told me."

"You had Sydney's graduation and sending her off to college. I didn't want to burden you with something else."

"I'm sorry," Jack said again. "I wish you had told me. You were always there for me; I would have liked the chance to return the favor."

"You're here for me now," Elizabeth replied simply. After a few moments she spoke again. "It was one of the scariest moments of my career. I felt so helpless," she admitted.

"You're not helpless, not weak. You did exactly what you were trained to do. I only wish Dimitrov was still alive so I could kill him myself," Jack's voice had hardened with his fury at what had been done to his love. "You are the strongest woman I know. I suppose you'd have to be to put up with me all these years," he teased her now. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too. Thank you for listening; I've never told anyone what happened. I knew you'd understand."

They lay in each other's arms; Elizabeth felt safe enough to go back to sleep. Jack, on the other hand, lay awake for a long while contemplating her openness.

He knew it must have been hard for her to talk about what had happened to her; sexual assault was one of the top fears of female agents. It had haunted Jack from the time Sloane had recruited Sydney. To have that happen to Elizabeth, for her to tell him with so little reticence . . . It made Jack think about his reluctance to share his own trauma.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Jack left work early Wednesday afternoon. He had a pounding headache, caused, no doubt (at least in part) by the circles they were running trying to locate Sark. But it wasn't the only reason. His appointment with Atticus was looming large and he still hadn't told Elizabeth about the ordeal. He hadn't actually planned to, yet as Thursday grew closer, Jack felt the overwhelming urge to let her in, especially after what she'd shared with him. This was in spite of the sharp pang of humiliation that continued to grip him when he thought about it.

He took a couple Advil for his headache, then set about preparing dinner. He marinated a couple of steaks and put some potatoes on to boil. He got salads and rolls read for when Elizabeth walked through the door.

An hour and a half later, the table was set, the potatoes almost done, and the steaks were on the indoor grill. Elizabeth came home to the aroma of steak seasoning wafting through the air.

She came up behind him and clasped her arms around him. "What's all this? I though you had the mother of all headaches."

"It's better. I think I just needed to get away from APO. And then I felt like pampering you."

"It smells delicious! I knew there was a reason I agreed to marry you."

Jack turned to kiss her. "And here _I_ thought it was for my good looks."

"That too," she smiled. "Let me change out of these clothes and I'll be read to eat."

Jack, himself, had discarded his suit jacket and tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and rolled up his sleeves. He dished up the meal and held Elizabeth's chair for her. He was mostly quiet as they ate, just enjoying listening to her talk. He was also bracing himself for the discussion he would initiate once dinner was over.

Elizabeth noticed, but didn't comment on Jack's lack of conversation. When he got quiet like this something big was coming. Sure enough, after the dishes were done, he led her to the couch and sat her on one end, himself on the other.

"I want to talk about . . . what happened to me . . . last year," he began slowly. "I need you to promise to let me get it all out without interrupting."

She gave her acquiescence and he started speaking.

"Last year, Sydney and I were not on the best of terms. She still was angry over my withholding information about her mother and why I felt it necessary to take her out. Arvin and I were concealing the fact that Elena was a threat; we were using Sydney and Vaughn to gain Intel on that front."

Elizabeth wasn't sure where this was leading. She wanted to touch him, reconnect, but the physical distance he'd put between them made his wishes clear.

"When I realized Sydney was trapped in Nightingale's chamber, I immediately abandoned my mission and went in search of a way to help her. It was never an option _not_ to go into that room; I was part of the reason she was in danger. I knew the risk, but I couldn't allow my daughter to die.

"The effects were almost immediate. Within hours of being exposed to the radiation, I could feel my thoughts getting muddied. I had trouble concentrating during my debrief with Arvin. And I began having pain in my legs.

"I was frightened, but I swore Marshall to secrecy when he confronted me. I was determined to find a cure on my own."

Jack met her eyes, willing her to understand. "I didn't want to burden Sydney. And I wasn't sure she would have cared.

"Atticus was an old friend I'd helped to disappear. He had continued his work combating the effects of genetic mutations. I thought I would contact him; find out if he could help me.

"I believe that's when I began hallucinating. I have no idea how I managed to function at APO while I was so out of it. Several times a week, I 'met'," he made air quotes, "with Liddell, getting treated and monitoring my progress. About three weeks into this charade, he basically told me to make my peace with Sydney; to let go of my secrets."

Elizabeth felt tears fill her eyes. She hadn't grasped how close to death Jack had been. And once again, he'd gone through it alone. She made to move closer but his expression stopped her.

"Obviously, it was my subconscious realizing that I had exhausted all avenues. I don't remember much after that. Sydney and Vaughn found me in a drug house. I thought Atticus was giving me a new treatment; a last chance. They put me in APO's hospital wing.

"I thought Laura was there with me. And then I woke up in our old house.

"Elizabeth, you don't know how disoriented that made me. I thought, for a time, that the last 30 years had never happened. And yet, _something_ kept nagging at me. I didn't know what it was; I couldn't process the information my senses were giving me.

"When I saw Sydney, Got she looked so much like her mother . . . My mind was screaming at me that it couldn't be true, but everything felt so right. Especially when they sent in a little girl as Sydney.

"So in spite of my misgivings, I went along with the scenario. And when 'Laura' asked me about the phone call, I told her. I told her more than I ever would have done. 'Laura' knew I was an agent. I told her when I had a mission; occasionally I shared where I was going. The details were classified; I would never have willingly given her that information.

"It was like I couldn't help myself; I had no censor," Jack looked ashamed. "I wanted that life to be real. A wife who loved me, playing piano with my daughter . . . I knew it couldn't be real but my heart craved what I'd lost," he admitted.

Elizabeth didn't wait any longer; she moved next to him and took his hand. She didn't say anything; she sensed there was more he wanted to tell her. "It was like being in a fog; I couldn't think straight. I was so confused when Atticus showed up in my hospital room.

**2005**

_J__ack awoke in a hospital bed, having no idea how he got there. He'd had the strangest dream: He and Laura were discussing Sydney's birthday and how he'd miss it again. He'd told her about his plans to leave the CIA and then played piano with his little girl. Everything had seemed so vivid, though._

_He looked up and saw Sydney and Dr. Liddell. "Am I cured?" he asked, groggily._

"_Not yet," Liddell asserted. "But I'm going to make you better."_

_Over the next few weeks, Jack was subjected to a variety of test and procedures; it forced him to stay bedridden for the first ten days of his hospitalization. And three times a week he was infused with a cocktail of drugs Atticus had devised._

_Jack knew he was far from the ideal patient, but the staff treated him like he was an imbecile. It was only because he'd been absent-minded, forgetful, at first. But as he recovered, their attitudes only annoyed him._

_Sydney came to visit him everyday, their conversations were kept light until he started to feel more like himself. Then things turned serious._

"_Why did you do it, Dad?" she asked one afternoon._

"_Do what?"_

"_Why did you go into that room? You could have died!"_

"_So could you," he replied, quietly. "Your life means more to me than my own."_

"_Oh, Dad," Sydney was crying now. She leaned over the bed, to hug Jack tightly. After a few minutes, she pulled herself together. She had more questions for her father._

"_How much do you remember of the last few weeks?"_

_He was suspicious and answered carefully. "There's a lot that I remember. But it's like being in a dream; I'm not sure what's real and what isn't."_

"_Do you remember talking to Mom?" Sydney wouldn't meet his eyes._

"_I thought I was dreaming."_

"_You thought it was 1981; you were too far gone for us to get anything lucid out of you. We set up a place to look like our house when I was little. Vaughn called you as your CIA handler and . . ." she trailed off, suitable chagrinned at her part in the deception._

"_And what?" Jack probed._

"_I played Mom and there was a little girl who played me," she said quickly._

_He ran a hand over his face. It was becoming clearer: standing in the kitchen with Laura, talking about . . . Sydney's birthday. He would miss it again because of work._

"_Dad?" Sydney touched his arm._

"_Hmm?" Jack pulled himself back to the present._

"_Were you . . . really planning on leaving the CIA?"_

"_I hated being away so much. I didn't want to miss seeing you grow up and I didn't want you to grow up thinking I didn't care." He tore his gaze away, "Real bang up job I did there."_

_Sydney didn't contradict him. It still hurt that her father had distance himself from her. On some level she knew that they both had a part to play in their estrangement, but she had been a little girl who had adored her daddy._

"_I'm sorry, sweetheart. I never wanted to do to you what my father did to me. I know how it feels to have your father ignore you."_

"_So your father . . . he . . ."_

"_I was nothing more than an inconvenience when he was home. And all to often, he was leaving on another business trip. I don't think I did anything that impressed him, made him proud. Not even when I graduated early and made it into Berkley. By then, though, I didn't really give a shit about his opinion."_

_Sydney tried to keep the shock off her face. Her father had rarely opened up to her in such a manner. She'd had no idea what his father had been like. She remembered her early childhood; her father had doted on her. It was only after Irina's subterfuge had been reveal that Jack had shut down emotionally._

"_The fact is, I turned into my father. Something I vowed would never happen. I'm so sorry, Sydney." He met her eyes for a brief moment then turned away, ashamed._

_She touched his arm, "Dad, we can't change the past. And I won't pretend that it doesn't hurt. But you've been here for me these last few years and that means more to me than I can say._

"_Dad, look at me," Sydney waited for him to lift his head. "You knowingly walked into a room that would cause your death. Dad, you did that for me, no hesitation. Not many people, not many fathers, would do that. I love you."_

_Jack pulled her close, "I love you, too."_


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Elizabeth had her arm around Jack as he finished speaking. She hadn't understood how much he'd been affected by his father's callous attitude toward him. He had never shared this much detail about his childhood with her. And even this wasn't much to go by.

"Later I asked Sydney whose idea it had been to go through with the charade. I was right in assuming it was Arvin; I'm sure he leapt at the chance to see me in such a humiliating situation," he said, bitterly.

"He saved your life and I'm grateful for that." She paused a moment, "Why didn't you ever tell me about your father?"

"He's not worth mentioning. He was out of my life before I met you, and died before Sydney was born. I chose not to dwell on how he treated me, it wasn't worth the effort. I tried to learn from his mistakes and do better with my child."

"I wish I had been there for you." Elizabeth kissed the corner of his mouth.

"I know. But I wouldn't have been much company," Jack responded, dryly.

"Still . . . I'm glad you told me, love. Are you ready for your appointment?"

"Yeah, it's just a check up. There's no reason to worry; Atticus told me my prognosis was good as long as I followed his treatment to the letter, which I did," he anticipated her question. "Atticus happens to be in the area and thought he'd look in on me."

Elizabeth nodded and glanced at the clock; it was after midnight. They'd been talking for hours. "We should get to bed. You've got a long day ahead of you."

Elizabeth was right, the morning was interminable. Between the search for Julian Sark and prepping for Sloane's trial, Jack thought the morning would never end. And then he saw Atticus Liddell walk in and the 90 minutes before his appointment flew by.

Jack and Elizabeth walked to the medical center hand-in-hand. He had thought, originally, that he would go in alone. As they approached the exam room, he swiftly changed his mind.

"Come with me?" he asked, hesitantly.

She nodded and they entered. Elizabeth was surprised to see a man 10-15 years Jack's senior. He was pleasant to look at, though, and greeted Jack warmly.

"How are you, Jack? You've been feeling all right?"

"I've been good. This . . ."

"Who've you brought with you?" Liddell interrupted.

"Elizabeth Powell, my fiancée," Jack answered, smiling.

"Well, you've been busy haven't you?" he joked.

"We've known each other a long time."

"Well, congratulations! And how's Sydney?"

"She gave birth to a son three months ago. Johnathon Michael Bristow," he said, proudly.

"You are one lucky bastard, Bristow," Liddell slapped his back.

"Don't I know it," Jack murmured, just low enough for Elizabeth to hear and she smiled.

Atticus got down to business then. He checked Jack heart and lungs, reflexes and memory, and took some blood. Overall, he concluded, Jack was in good health. His blood pressure was a little high, but could be contributed to the stress of the job. He told Jack to keep an eye on it.

While they waited for the results of the blood test, Elizabeth asked questions about what exactly the radiation had done to Jack's system.

"The radiation attacked his white blood cells first, rendering his immune system vulnerable. Then his red cells were affected; he wasn't getting enough oxygen to his brain. That's what caused the hallucinations.

"Jack's brain didn't have what it needed to function properly; some cells had been damaged, enough so it made it hard for him to cope with all the information it had to deal with. His brain simply couldn't process what his senses were telling him so he created an alternate reality," Atticus concluded.

Elizabeth had one more question, "What drugs did you give him? What exactly cured him?"

"We filtered his blood using a dialysis machine twice a week. We gave him a combination of AZT, methotrexate, and digoxin. To be honest, I wasn't sure if it would cure him or kill him. It was touch and go a couple of times."

Elizabeth fixed her gaze on Jack, "You didn't tell me _that_."

He was saved from answering when a nurse delivered the test results to Liddell. Atticus scanned the numbers quickly and smiled at the couple.

"You're as fit as a fiddle, Jack. All your numbers look good; WBC, RBC, platelets, hematocrit, ANC are all normal; your liver functions are good, too. You can go ahead with that wedding of yours, provided I get and invitation," Atticus pronounced

"Of course," Elizabeth promised.

"Can we get out of here? No offense, Atticus, but I hate hospitals."

"None taken. I'll see you at the wedding."

They decided to take a long weekend once they left work that afternoon. The wedding planning had been put on hold for over a week and now they were behind. The weekend would be spent getting caught up and resolving the issue of who would perform the ceremony.

Jack knew that the next four weeks would be packed with activities. Sloane's trial, really just an exercise, was scheduled to being the middle of next week. Jack would be called to testify, as would Sydney, Elizabeth, and most of the team at APO. While the outcome was in little doubt, the trial was still slated to last up to three weeks. It was cutting it close to the wedding date.

In between bouts of lovemaking, Jack and Elizabeth did manage to choose a catering company, florist; stationary, lettering, and wording for invitations, and a designer for the cake (a friend of Francie's that Sydney had remained in contact with). Now though, they were back to arguing over who would officiate the ceremony.

"I haven't been inside a church since my parents' funerals and that was 30 years ago. I want nothing to do with an archaic belief system that requires total compliance. I'm not even sure that I believe in God anymore. And I will _not_ be married by some child-molesting pervert!" Jack finished, vehemently.

"I know you have low opinion of the Catholic Church, Jack. Your upbringing did little to endear it to you . . ."

Elizabeth was cut off, "Why should I have faith in a God who permits such atrocities in the world, in His own church? I don't want to be associated with that!"

"How can you be so angry with someone you aren't sure exists?" she reasoned.

"Jack left the couch and paced the length of the room. He had no answer for her or himself. But that didn't mean he was going to give in on this.

Elizabeth stood in front of him and placed her hands on his chest. "Jack, love, we need to come to a compromise. I don't care so much about the where, but I want a church official."

His shoulders sagged. It was difficult to accept; with his strict upbringing and the horrors he'd lived though and seen. He knew he would have to meet whichever minister or pastor or whatever. Jack didn't think he could stand to hear that person tell him to "Have faith" or "Give it over to God".

"Can I sleep on it?" he asked.

Elizabeth kissed him. "Of course. It's been a long weekend but we'll have to make a decision tomorrow," she thought a minute. "Would it help if we got a woman?"

"I'm not sure. Just let me think on it," Jack answered softly.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Sunday morning, Jack rolled over to find Elizabeth's side of the bed empty. He could hear a low murmuring coming from the living room so he pulled on his boxers and padded out.

Elizabeth was cradling the phone with her shoulder and sipping tea. She was quiet, obviously listening to whoever was on the other end. When she caught sight of Jack, she grinned and mouthed, "Allison."

He nodded and kissed the top of her head. Then Jack moved to the kitchen to fix himself some coffee while eavesdropping on Elizabeth's half of the conversation.

Allison was her younger sister by a few years. Jack vaguely recalled Elizabeth writing him when Allison's husband, Greg, had been killed in Afghanistan a couple of years ago. Their kids, three he thought, were all adults, but it still had been a major blow.

"You know it's not _that_ sudden, Allison. You're the _only_ one in the family who knows how much Jack has meant to me. Duncan and Nathaniel barely remember . . ." Elizabeth was saying before getting cut off.

"He does? Oh, God. Has he gone into overprotective mode? Oh, brother. You understand; I love Jack and he loves me. Good, then I'll see you in a few weeks. Love to the kids."

Jack left the kitchen, coffee in hand. "What was that all about?"

"Allison says she'll be here for the wedding. Duncan and Nathaniel and their significant others will be, too. She's not sure about any of the kids."

"And what about Duncan's protective streak?"

"He never understood our relationship. He and Allison knew you broke my heart when you married . . . Duncan couldn't figure out why we couldn't be together. We were just college students, me on a yearlong study abroad trip. In his eyes, one of us should have been able to make a sacrifice to be together.

"I didn't tell him when we reconnected but he, Nathaniel, and Allison knew I kept in touch with you. Allison obviously got more details; as much as I could tell her, as close to the truth as I could get."

"How is she doing? You told me about Greg," he explained when she looked confused.

"I didn't think you'd remember that."

"I remember everything you told me, especially about your family. And that was pretty important. Your brother-in-law killed by Afghani insurgents seemed like something I _should_ remember."

Elizabeth nodded as Jack sat next to her and sipped his coffee. "She's been all right. It's been almost three years, but she hasn't dated anyone. I don't think she'll ever get over Greg's death."

"So Nathaniel and Cora will be here and I assume Duncan's bringing Christopher?"

Elizabeth was surprised at Jack's knowledge of her family tree. He had never really acknowledged anything she'd told him. She had thought at the time it was because of his own poor family life or that her older brother was gay. But if that had been the case, he wouldn't have cared enough to keep the details locked in his memory.

Jack could see that he had thrown Elizabeth with his recall. "I told you, I remember everything you told me. I always _liked_ hearing about your family. I liked hearing about a normal family and what they did together; I didn't have that as a kid and after Irina . . . Well, let's just say I could live vicariously through your letters."

She kissed his cheek. "I'm glad you had something to help you then. Any yes, everyone is coming. Allison has agreed to be my matron of honor.

"Jack, have you chosen a best man? You shouldn't be up there alone, and my bridesmaids need groomsmen."

"I hadn't really thought about it. Who would _want_ to stand up with me anyway? Jack Bristow inspires fear, not warm fuzzies," he tried to make a joke of it.

"Jack, you are respected and admired by everyone at APO. They're _not_ afraid of you," Elizabeth admonished him. "Why don't you ask Marcus? And Will and Eric can escort Sydney and Nadia."

"I'll ask them. But don't count on anything." Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him. "So when does your family arrive?" Jack was trying to keep the conversation away from the ceremony itself.

"They'll get in a couple of days before the wedding. Allison might come a little earlier to rehearse.

"So have you come to a decision?"

Jack didn't bother to pretend he didn't know what she was talking about. "I want to meet with potential candidates before we choose."

"All I ask is that you keep an open mind, sweetheart. And try not to frighten them with that look of yours," Elizabeth warned.

"What look?" Jack asked, innocently.

Since opening statements were scheduled for Monday and Tuesday, Jack and Elizabeth made some phone calls to set up interviews. They contacted five potential officiators: two Episcopalians (one of whom was a woman), two Lutherans, and one Methodist.

The first two interviews did not go well. The first Lutheran minister ignored Jack's concerns and Elizabeth entirely. And the male Episcopalian pastor they talked to Monday evening counseled Jack in exactly the way he had feared. Jack left the room after five minutes, followed closely by Elizabeth.

"You didn't have to be rude, Jack," she chided, gently.

"The man is a jackass. I wasn't about to listen to his idiotic ramblings for a minute more," he responded.

"Well, we have three more people to interview tomorrow. Of them should be able to meet our needs," Elizabeth was optimistic.

In the car, Jack headed to APO. He wanted an update on both the Sloane and Sark fronts.

"It was actually pretty boring, Mr. Bristow. The prosecution gave their opening statement: Basically a recitation of all the really terrible things he's done," Marshall told them.

"What about Sark?"

"Well, we've had a couple of sightings in Europe, but nothing definitive. There's some chatter about a meeting that might be set up, but we're not sure when or why."

Jack sighed, "Thank you, Marshall."

As they walked back to the car, Elizabeth said, "I suppose we should be prepared for a mission involving the capture of Julian Sark?"

He glanced at her, "The sooner the better. I want that . . . boy taken care of. Preferably before our wedding."

Their first interview the next day was with Reverend Lucas Wilson. Reverend Wilson was an older man with a kind voice. He listened to Jack and Elizabeth and appeared to consider his responses very deliberately. He was willing to marry them, without any delays and they left his office heartened.

Next up was Father Thomas Gates; Jack disliked the man on sight. His eyes were shifty, his voice high-pitched.

"You say you were marry before?" Father Gates asked Jack.

"Yes, we were divorced last year and she died a few months ago," Jack gave the cover story.

"Hmm. You have two daughters from this marriage." At Jack's confirmation he continued, "I would like to help you both. Here at the Church of the Nazzarine, we require that you become full time members of the church. And all previous marriage must be annulled."

"Excuse me?" Elizabeth was indignant on Jack's behalf. She knew what an annulment meant.

"You want me to make my daughters into bastards to satisfy some archaic church law?!"

"Now, Mr. Bristow there's no need for such language . . ."

"Let me save you from saying anything else that might piss me off, _Father_. We're leaving."

With that, Jack grabbed Elizabeth's hand and nearly dragged her from the room. He was nearly trembling his affront. They made it out of the building before he exploded.

"Who in the _hell _does he think he is? Suggesting that annul my marriage to join his church; screw the consequences for Sydney and Nadia!"

"I don't disagree, love. Some local sects create inane customs for their congregations to follow. That's why we're interviewing, remember."

"Still, it's an insult. To me and to them." But the venom had gone out of his voice, much to Elizabeth's relief.

It was a short ride to Pastor Leah Robin's office. They were put at ease by her open manner. And she thought their story of their love affair of 40 years was charming. In spite of the fact that she was Sydney's age, Jack was comfortable with Pastor Robins.

The longer they talked, the more details about the wedding and their family spilled out. Elizabeth exchanged a look with Jack. They had found their officiator.

"Pastor, we'd like to ask you to perform the ceremony," Elizabeth invited. "Are you available?"

"I would be delighted. Just make sure you get me the time and place along with any details I should know about the ceremony. And are you planning a rehearsal?"

They nodded. "Then make sure I get that information as well," Pastor Robins added.

The trio stood. "Thank you," Jack shook her hand.

"You're welcome. I'm looking forward to it."

Elizabeth had Jack drop her at Sydney's apartment while he went to APO for the afternoon. He called them a few hours later with their dates for testifying at Sloane's trial. Nadia was scheduled for Monday, Elizabeth Tuesday, Sydney and Jack were to split Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

There was some ambiguous chatter about Sark, leaving Jack frustrated. The Brit had kept his freedom for far too long in his opinion. And now that he had take up Rambaldi's cause, he was even more dangerous, a loose cannon.

After a few more fruitless hours, Jack headed to the parking garage. The last thing he remembered before everything went black was feeling a pinprick at the back of his neck.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

When Jack regained consciousness it was to pitch-blackness. He was immediately reminded of his cell while in solitary. He tried to calm his breathing; he'd always had an inclination towards claustrophobia and his time in solitary had only enhanced that feeling.

He decided to feel his way around his prison. His exploration was a short one: the room was barely large enough for him to lie down and its width was no better. There was no furniture, only a large bucket which Jack supposed he was to use to relive himself. He located the door, but there was no way to open it.

There was nothing for Jack to do but wait. He folded himself into a corner and leaned his head back. Silently, he berated himself for letting his guard down in the garage. He'd been so eager to get home to Elizabeth that his usual scan of the surroundings had been cursory.

Jack had no way of telling how much time had passed since he'd been taken from the garage. But if his stomach was any indication, he'd missed more than one meal. He kept his eyes shut and pictured his family's faces, hoping it wouldn't be long before he saw them again.

When Jack hadn't arrived home by ten o'clock, Elizabeth phoned APO wondering what could have kept him so late. Dixon answered and told her that Jack had left hours ago. He sent someone to the garage to check for Jack's car.

Elizabeth began to panic when Dixon came back on the line to tell her that the Prius was still in its customary space. She informed him that she'd be in the office in 30 minute. She quickly called Sydney and Nadia, knowing they'd want to be apprised of the situation.

Both girls insisted on coming to APO with Elizabeth and she didn't protest. They would need each other's support as they attempted to figure out what happened to Jack.

"So far, all we have is this," Dixon held up an evidence bag containing a small dart. They were meeting in the conference room; Tom, Rachel, Marshall, and Eric had joined them.

"And that is?" Tom asked.

"A hypodermic dart," Dixon explained. "It contained a powerful sedative, it probably knocked Jack out instantaneously."

"How the hell did they overcome Dad? He's not exactly a small man!" Sydney exclaimed.

"It was a long-distance hit," Marshall piped up. "These babies are high tech; as long as you're within 100 yards of your target . . ."

"Do we know who took him? Or why?" Nadia asked.

"There have been no demands made at this point; it's too early. Unfortunately, there aren't any fingerprints on the dart. However, intelligence suggests that it could be Julian Sark," replied Dixon.

"I thought he was supposed to be in Europe!" protested Elizabeth.

"Apparently not," Dixon said, wryly. "Whatever we were hearing before was supposed to distract us. But now they're after something big and Sark's people can't keep their mouths shut."

"Have they said anything about where Jack's being held?" Rachel wanted to know.

"We believe they're in the U.S.; from what's been said, it's most likely a desert location. We've narrowed our possibilities to Death Valley or somewhere in Nevada." Before Sydney could protest, Dixon continued, "We will simply have to wait to hear from the kidnappers, and listen to the chatter as it comes across. We'll do everything we can to get him back!"

Jack heard the door to his cell open, but no light accompanied it. He had to assume that his captors had some kind of night vision eyewear, as they made straight for him.

Without warning, they began beating him. One hauled him to an upright position while the other lobbed body shots. After a few minutes, they switched places; this time the blows were to his head. It didn't take long for Jack to fall mercifully unconscious.

When next he woke, it was to the sound of scraping metal. Hearing no footsteps, Jack crawled cautiously toward the door. He found a bowl with some kind of soup and some bread. Only pausing briefly to consider that the food might be laced with drugs, he dug in.

As he finished, Jack went back to his corner. There, he took inventory of his injuries. He had a couple dozen bumps and bruises and twice as many small lacerations. Yet none of his injuries were severe; no broken bones, nothing needed stitches. They never even asked him any questions. Jack had no way to know what these people wanted, no way to negotiate.

Jack quickly learned to mark his time by the regularity of his beatings and subsequent meals. The men who came to his cell didn't ask any questions, they simply beat him until he lost consciousness. When he woke, food would be waiting for him.

He began to hate the noise of the door opening, unable to stop himself from flinching at the sound. It wasn't that he was afraid of the men, but he was tired of the pain. And as his incarceration wore on, the walls closed in on him. It was all he could do to keep himself from shouting his frustration.

And then, suddenly, the routine changed.

"One of my contacts in Las Vegas has sighted Sark," Tom informed the team.

It was the first piece of good news any of them had heard since Jack had gone missing. In the past 48 hours they had made contact with al their informants hoping someone could tell them something. Nothing had turned up . . . until now.

"Does your contact have a location?" Sydney asked.

"Not exactly. He followed Sark as long as he could be discreet, managed to tail him out of the strip and a few miles into the desert. I'm going to send a few guys out there to do a little snooping," Tom replied.

"Make sure you keep them at a safe distance. We can't afford to tip him off," Elizabeth warned.

They had been staying at APO's living quarters again. Without any demands, there was no way of telling who might be in dangers. And since Elizabeth wasn't sleeping much anyway, it was convenient for her to keep current on new leads. She hadn't slept for more than an hour since Jack had disappeared; Sydney and Nadia weren't faring much better. Though Will and Eric were more persuasive in getting _them _to rest.

Now, Elizabeth was feeling the effects of her lack of sleep. Excusing herself from the conference room, she made her way to her room. Once alone, Elizabeth let the stress and the worry and the fear overwhelm her. She curled up on the bed and let the tears come. Silently she sobbed, praying they would find Jack soon.

"Hold on, love," she thought. "We're coming."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Jack was dragged unceremoniously from his cell. The two musclemen took him to another small room, still completely dark, and strapped him to a chair. Jack felt a needle jab his arm.

"Mr. Bristow," Sark's voice came out of the darkness, "you've just been injected with a rather large dose of sodium pentathol. I'm going to give you a few moments to get in the right frame of mind before I ask my questions."

Jack steeled himself; he didn't know what Sark was after, but he couldn't afford to reveal anything. He could feel the drug trying to take affect and tried to close his mind; it took a tremendous effort.

All of a sudden the lights were turned on. Jack blinked rapidly, the brightness blinding him temporarily. And then Sark began his interrogation.

"Tell me about your family, Jack. How is Sydney? I've missed working with her. And your grandson? Are they both well? I _do_ hope you're planning on being a better grandfather than father. You always seemed to be a great disappointment to Sydney."

Sark was playing his weakness, Jack knew. But he couldn't help the memories that bubbled to the surface at his words.

**1984**

"_But Daddy, you said you'd come!" a ten-year-old Sydney cried._

"_Sydney, you know that my job is very important. There will be other dance recitals," Jack grabbed his briefcase, thankful he kept a suitcase packed in the car. He wouldn't want to try to explain the overnight trip to his little girl._

"_But we're doing _The Nutcracker_, Daddy! And you _promised_ you wouldn't miss another recital!" Her eyes were welling up with unshed tears._

"_Kim will be there and she'll take lots of pictures . . ."_

"_I don't want Kim! I want you!" The tears had spilled over._

_It broke Jack's heart, but the CIA demanded his presence and he had to go. He knelt down and tried to hug her. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just can't come tonight. I wish I could. I'm sure you'll be wonderful. Now I have to go."_

_He stood and made for the front door when he heard Sydney yell, "I hate you!"_

**1957**

_"But Dad you promised!" and eight-year-old Jack stomped his foot._

"_Don't bother your father," his mother admonished._

"_But he said he'd come to the game! It's the championship!"_

"_Jonathon, it's just Little League. I have to go to work," Douglas Bristow brushed by his son._

"_You're a _liar_! You said you'd come, but you lied!"_

"_Jonathon Donahue Bristow! Do _not_ take that tone with me or I won't be the only one not going," Douglas threatened._

_With that, the screen door slammed. Jack ran to the door, tears running down his face. "I hate you!" he yelled at his father's retreating back._

Jack managed to keep his thoughts to himself, just barely. The urge to tell Sark everything was overwhelming. But he couldn't give him any edge, so he gritted his teeth and endured the hours of questions under the intensely bright lights.

Two days went by before APO got any more lead. And in that time, Elizabeth lost more sleep in spite of Sydney and Nadia's insistence that she get some rest.

"They're holed up in an old underground bunker. It's a bit of a maze, lots of corridors but only a few rooms.

"We'll raid the facility tomorrow afternoon. But only those agents who are well-rested will be allowed on the team," warned Dixon. "We can't have fatigue clouding anyone's judgment."

Elizabeth nodded and at the end of the strategy session she retired to her room. Despite her protests, both Nadia and Sydney had secured places on the assault team. She didn't think Jack would want both his daughters to risk their lives, but he would do the same for them, she reasoned.

Only the thought of seeing Jack again, being in his arms, helped her to fall asleep.

Jack received another injection before he was returned to the pitch black of his cell. He felt certain that it wasn't sodium pentathol this time. He didn't have to wait long to start feeling it's effects.

"_Damn it_," he thought, "_Pergotine_."

This wasn't something to be overpowered by sheer force of will. Pergotine lowered person's emotional defenses, accentuated their fears.

Jack's claustrophobia was back in full force. The walls were closing in on him. Closing his eyes didn't help; all he could see was every fight he'd had with Sydney, every lie he'd believed out of Irina's mouth.

Through the next several hours he was tormented with images of his childhood, Sydney's childhood. Every mistake he'd ever made, all his fears, flashed before his eyes. When the men came back to beat him, Jack couldn't help cowering into the corner.

They came back twice more before dragging him back to the interrogation room. The pergotine had worn off by then and Jack was enraged. He tried to fight his way out of their grasp, but the drugs and beatings had weakened him more than he thought.

He was tossed into the chair, secured, and injected. The lights came on and Sark began his questioning.

"I want to know about The Chosen One. I want to know about The Passenger. And I want to know about The Reincarnation. You are going to tell me everything.

"How does it feel to have a daughter and grandson so closely tied to the great Milo Rambaldi? You should be honored . . ."

Sark's voice faded as Jack was drawn back into his troubled memories

**1965**

_Jack stared at the letter. He had hoped . . . but graduating at 17 would have put him at t long shot. But here was the letter of acceptance. Berkley had admitted him; should start in the summer of 1966. _

_"Jonathon, bring the mail here," his father commanded._

_Wordlessly, he handed over the bills and junk mail. The shock hadn't worn off and his father took note of the letter still in Jack's hand._

"_What is that?" he asked._

_Jack didn't know how to respond. His parents didn't even know he was set to graduate early, let alone that he'd applied to several colleges._

"_I asked you a question."_

"_Yes, sir. I've been accepted at Berkley."_

"_You still have another year of high school . . ."_

"_No, sir. I've doubled up on my classes and I meet the requirements for graduation _this _year."_

"_And you're just now deciding to tell me? How am I supposed to pay for this? And your mother? Who's going to take care of her?" Douglas Bristow stood, hoping to intimidate his son. Unfortunately, Jack was now at least two inches taller and well-muscled from running track._

"_You don't have to pay for anything; I've gotten a scholarship. _You_ will have to take care of Mom. She's your wife. I've done what I could while you're away. Now it's your turn."_

_Jack started to storm from the room, then turned to face his father. "This is _my_ life now and I won't be guilted into staying because of Mom. And I didn't tell you because I knew this was exactly what you'd say."_

**1992**

_Sydney handed Jack a letter. He scanned it and looked at her in disbelief. "UCLA . . . Why?"_

"_Because Mom went there, at least for graduate studies. I want to major in Literature, like her," Sydney explained._

_Jack was surprised that she was sharing anything with him. Their conversations for the past few years had been limited to say the least. Now, he had to school his reaction to her reason for choosing UCLA._

_They rarely spoke of her mother. Jack couldn't bring himself to perpetuate a lie, but he didn't tell Sydney the truth either. And after 12 years, his daughter had an idealized version of her mother to remember._

"_Dad?" Sydney's voice brought him back to the present._

"_Congratulations, Sydney. I'm proud of you," Jack wanted to hug her, but the years of estrangement stood between them. "Will you be living here or . . .?" he asked awkwardly._

"_Francie and I are going to share a place."_

_Jack looked away. It hurt to think that his daughter would be leaving. Though they weren't close, he would miss her company. When he looked up again, Sydney was gone._

**2004**

_Jack watched Nadia carefully. Any reaction on the machine, any twitch on her face could reveal how she would react to Sydney telling her the truth about Irina's death. Despite her denial, Jack thought at least part of the reason was out of spite._

"_You've been sent to Paris to extract a deep cover operative. You successfully transferred him to a safehouse on Île Sainte Louis when a secure communication comes in that you were exposed. Do you abort?" Jack set the first scenario._

"_Well that depends . . ."_

_He cut Nadia off. "What is your impulse? That's what this is about," he said, blandly._

"_Is the operative one of us?" she wanted clarification._

"_Yes or no?"_

"_No."_

_Jack made a note. It was more difficult than he'd thought, being in the same room with the product his wife and best friend's affair. And yet he didn't hold it against _her_; from what he knew, Nadia had had a hard life._

_He continued his questioning with a new scenario. "While tapping a phone line of a target in New Delhi, you're spotted by the enemy. Your partner tells you to continue with the mission objective while he neutralizes the target. Do you obey him or fight back?"_

"_Is the phone system the new PVA matrix?" Nadia still tried for additional information._

"_Just answer the question, please," he added the 'please' as an afterthought. He was a bit frustrated; Nadia was as stubborn as her sister._

"_Why is my partner a man?"_

"_The sex of your partner is irrelevant," Jack enunciated each word._

"_Oh. No, I would not obey," Nadia paused as he wrote again. "I'd help her fight him off. Then she and I could finish the job together." She gave him a small smile, then rubbed the back of her neck._

"_You're one of a three man, three woman team if you prefer," Jack began the third scenario. "A tactical mission. You suspect that one of your team members may be a mole. Do you tell the third?"_

_A fourth scenario, "You return from an operation overseas. Although the mission was successful, certain information may reflect negatively on one of your team members. Do you include said information in your op report?"_

_Jack knew he was being hard on Nadia. Drawing out her evaluation over several hours was just another tactic to see how she'd react. But he needed to know if she was field ready, needed to know how she'd react to unforeseen situations._

_Nadia closed her eyes before answering. "No," she paused. "Mr. Bristow?"_

_Jack looked up from his notes. "Yes?"_

"_I don't mean to seem impatient, but I've never done anything that's lasted as long as this."_

"_How sad for you," he answered sardonically._

Jack murmured, "Nadia, I'm sorry sweetheart."

Sark's head snapped up. In the last 90 minutes, Bristow had maintained a steady and infuriating silence. Now he spoke of The Passenger with more than passing affection. The man was not known for his sentimentality. To use a term of endearment for a woman who should cause him distress . . .

An intriguing thought was starting to form in the younger man's mind. He injected Bristow with another dose of pergotine and waited only a few moments before he saw it take affect. "Nadia Santos is Sydney's sister, correct?"

Jack was shrinking away from the bright lights, his resistance low. The drugs, beatings, and memories taking their toll; he answered, "Yes."

"Irina Derevko is her mother?"

"Yes," he replied faintly.

"And Arvin Sloane is her father?"

"_No_," Jack said, vehemently.

"No?" Sark looked vaguely amused. "Then who, may I ask, is?" When Jack managed to keep silent, Sark loomed over him, invading his space. "Are you Nadia's father, Jack?"

"Yes," he ground out.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Dixon led the assault team; they had entered the bunker about a half a mile away from Jack's presumed location. They were able to move quickly through the tunnels, not encountering any resistance for a good portion of the way.

Then, about 150 feet from their target, a steel-plated wall barred their way. Sensing that the time for stealth was at an end, Tom attached several charges to the wall. When they had safely taken cover, he blew the charges and obliterated the obstacle.

Almost immediately, two men wielding Glocks attacked them. While they others covered them, Dixon and Elizabeth made their way through the rubble and located Jack's cell; it was the only one with the door shut. As Dixon wrenched to bolt back, he saw Sark dart down the corridor and ran after him.

Elizabeth slipped into the darkened room. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she was able to make out Jack's form huddled in the corner. He was facing away from the door, his arms held in front of his body in a protective gesture.

"Jack, love?"

"Stay away from me! I won't tell you anything!" he tried to scramble away from her. Then his voice got softer, "I'm sorry Sydney, I'm sorry Nadia. I've never been a good enough father, a good enough man . . ."

Elizabeth knelt next to him, "Jack, you're a good man. Your daughters and I love you, very much."

"Dad never loved me. He always left; I did that to Sydney. She hates me." With high doses of pergotine in his system, it was touch for Jack to keep a reign on his emotions. Soundless tears slipped down his face. But in the next moment he was ranting again, trying to defend himself from a mystery assailant.

Sydney ran into the room, Nadia on her heels. "Dad?"

"Dad?" Nadia breathed.

He looked around wildly; his sight still impaired by the days of darkness. "It wasn't my fault, Dad. Please . . ."

"He's been drugged," Elizabeth surmised. "But I'm not sure with what. He seems to be flashing between the present and the past." She tried to take his hand to soothe him.

At that point Dixon dragged Sark, bleeding and handcuffed, into the room. Nadia launched herself at the fanatic and pinned him against the wall. "What did you do to him? What did you give him you little weasel?"

"Defending Daddy, are we?" he smirked.

Nadia leaned her elbow into his windpipe. "Take a moment to think about the next words out of your mouth. What did you give my father?"

Sydney and Elizabeth were mildly shocked by Nadia's outburst, but they continued to try to calm Jack.

Nadia lifted her arm slightly and Sark choked out, "Sodium pentathol and pergotine. They'll both wear off within a few hours."

"Excellent." She slammed her elbow into his temple and let him drop to the ground.

Tom stepped in, "Both guards are down. We should get back to transport."

Dixon, Elizabeth, and Sydney helped lead Jack back to the helicopter while Tom and Nadia hauled Sark. Once airborne, Jack began to calm down and fell unconscious within minutes. While Sydney and Nadia were slightly alarmed, Elizabeth knew that it was probably for the best.

"The drugs can work their way through his system without forcing him to deal with their effects while he's conscious," she explained.

As the adrenaline from the mission wore off and the relief took hold, the three women allowed themselves to sleep.

Jack awoke with a feeling of déja vu. He was back in APO's medical center, feeling slightly disoriented. He looked around and saw his daughters asleep on the small couch. Elizabeth sat next to his bed, her head resting next to his arm.

He lifted his hand and stroked her head. "Wake up, sweetheart," he whispered.

Almost immediately, her eyes opened. Elizabeth smiled and sat up, "How are you feeling, love?"

"Like my head is full of cotton," he admitted.

"Sark drugged you."

"I know."

"Sodium pentathol and pergotine."

"I know," he said again. Jack was ashamed of his inability to resist the drugs' effects. He had endangered Nadia's life.

"Jack there was enough pergotine in your system to fell three men. It's a wonder you're not in a coma or . . . dead," Elizabeth could hardly say the word.

"I should have been stronger!" he burst out. "Sark knows that Nadia is my daughter."

"Sark is in custody," Elizabeth said gently. "He won't be hurting anyone else."

Movement on the couch drew their attention. Jack's raised voice had awakened his daughters.

"Dad, are you all right?" Sydney asked.

"I'm fine." At Nadia's raised eyebrow, he amended, "I'm a little bruised. I'll heal."

He sat up as the girls approached and kissed his cheeks. "How's JM?" he asked, wanting to get the attention off of him.

"Your grandson is fine. Marshall and Carrie are watching him," Sydney said, catching on to his game. "I'm more worried about you. Pergotine is a nasty piece of work. Elizabeth told us you were having hallucinations or flashbacks . . ."

"It was nothing I couldn't handle."

"That's bullshit, Jack!" Nadia burst in. "You were fighting us tooth and nail; ranting about your father, Sydney, me!"

Jack gave Nadia the same look he'd given Sydney the first time she'd cursed at him. It had the same effect on his younger daughter; she took a step back and looked mildly embarrassed.

"What I mean is that whatever you saw, it was upsetting. We want to help you," she explained.

He flicked his gaze over the three women, wondering what to say. The flashbacks had been so real, as if he was living those moments again. It had been bad enough the first time around.

"My fathers," Jack said quietly, "was not a pleasant man. I told Sydney a bit of this last year, but not everything. He and my mother were Catholics and reared me in that tradition. I was generally to be seen and not heard.

"I wasn't allowed to do a lot of frivolous things. And as I got older, I was expected to take care of my mother when my father was away. When I didn't act like I was supposed to or what he wanted, my father got angry and at times down right cruel," he stopped to think of an example that wasn't too painful to share.

"He didn't allow me to go to my junior prom because I got a 90 on an AP calculus exam. I'd been looking forward to it all semester and he knew that. It was like he was trying to find a way to keep me from going.

"I know it's a little thing, but," Jack suddenly found his fingernails quite interesting, "I didn't do a lot of dating in high school. I usually wasn't interested and Dad made sure I was too busy for anything steady. This was different, especially since I was graduating early. It was bunch of us from the AP classes; boys and girls going as friends. Ten of us had rented a limo; it would have been a lot of fun.

"Which is exactly why my father disapproved, and besides, who would take care of Mom if I went out for the evening?" Jack didn't even try to keep the bitterness from his voice.

Elizabeth thought back to when she'd first met Jack. He'd been quiet, almost standoffish. It had taken several weeks of working together before he became more comfortable around her, able to laugh, to talk about something other than work. Now she realized how much his father had done to affect Jack's personality.

"Dad?" Sydney ventured softly. When he looked up, she asked, "Why did you have to take care of your mother? And why didn't your father help?"

"Mom started to become forgetful around the time I was in seventh grade. Usually it was little things, but one day she went for a walk and couldn't remember where she lived. She was only a few houses away.

"Mom had Alzheimer's at the age of 50. Of course no one called it that. People just thought she was going senile. It was an embarrassment to my father; he never really talked about it.

"Why did I have to take care of her? The same reason he couldn't be bothered with me for most of my life: He was busy working. He was hoping to make the jump from lawyer to judge so his cases were more important than his family.

"I never meant to do that to you, Sydney."

"I know, Dad," she replied.

"Nadia," Jack turned to his younger daughter. "I'm sorry for the way I acted when you first joined APO. I shouldn't have . . ."

"Jack," Nadia cut him off, "you were far more civil than anyone could have asked you to be. I forgave you a long time ago for the deceit regarding my mother's death."

He gave his girls a small smile and tried to stifle a yawn. Elizabeth took this as her cue to herd them from the room. After some protracted good-byes, hugs, kisses, and promises to return the next day, Jack and Elizabeth were finally alone.

"You should get some rest," she said.

"So should you," he pointed out.

"Think I can squeeze in there with you?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

It took several minutes of maneuvering around his IV lines and bruises before they were both settled.

"Jack?"

"Hmm?" He was already half-asleep.

"That took a lot of courage."

"What did?"

"Telling your daughters about your father. From the little bit you shared with me about your childhood I knew he wasn't attentive, that you didn't get along. The reality was much harsher than I imagined."

"That's why I don't talk about him. He's been dead for over 30 years and the man still has the ability to get under my skin." Jack's eyes fluttered shut and he slept.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Jack was released after 48 hours and Sloane's trial was put in recess until the following week. His bruises were healing, but he wasn't sleeping well; images from his captivity and intoxicated state plagued him. While in the hospital he was able to disguise it, attributing the dark circles under his eyes to the unfamiliar surroundings and the parade of nurses at all hours.

Once home, however, Jack couldn't conceal his nightmares while sleeping in the same bed as Elizabeth. He took to slipping from the bed once her breathing evened out and would lay on the couch. Before the alarm went off, he'd rejoin her. Jack hoped for sleep to come and yet he dreaded what he would see when he closed his eyes.

He'd thought his father couldn't hurt him any more, but that was the main focus of Jack's flashbacks. Things he thought he'd buried deep were coming back to disturb his new life.

Three days after he came home, Jack's ruse was discovered.

Elizabeth rolled over to find Jack's side of the bed empty. She blinked sleepily and assumed he'd gone to the bathroom. Then she heard a noise coming from the living room, so she padded out to investigate.

On the couch was Jack, asleep but clearly distressed. As she got closer, Elizabeth could hear what he was saying in his sleep.

"Dad, it's not my fault. You can't blame me . . ."

"Jack," she took his hand and leaned over to turn on the lamp.

The light woke him and Jack fought the urge to shrink away. "Elizabeth? What's wrong?"

"The very question I was about to ask you. Why are you out here anyway?"

Jack tried to orient himself; half-remembered pieces of dreams and memories drifted through his mind. He remembered his promise to be honest and took a deep breath.

"I didn't want to wake you. I haven't been sleeping well," he explained.

"You're still in pain?"

"No. Well, not much," he took another breath. "I've been having dreams . . . flashbacks . . . whatever. I usually can't remember any details; just images of my father; feelings of anger, resentment, pain."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why sleep here?"

He answered her second question first, "Sydney told me you barely slept while Sark had me. You need your rest as much as I do, sweetheart. I didn't want to risk waking you.

"As for not telling you . . . There wasn't much to tell, at least until tonight."

Elizabeth moved closer, the little hurt she felt was fading. "What happened tonight? You said it wasn't your fault; you said the same thing when we found you at Sark's compound.

"I had forgotten or compartmentalized . . .," unconsciously Jack reached for her hand, seeking comfort.

"You know I left home at 17, went to Berkley on a scholarship, was recruited at graduation. My father wasn't happy. As I told you, he wanted me to take care of my mother.

"Before I left I tried to sit him down, to explain about Mom's medications. When she had to have them, how many of each. And I warned him not to rely on Mom to remember. But he was only half-listening, usual.

"I got a call from my father just before the fall semester telling me that Mom had died. I went home for the funeral and found out that she'd overdosed on her meds."

**August 1966**

_Jack sat in the kitchen, still in his suit from the funeral. He had loosened his tie, but was staring blankly into space. His mother was gone and although they hadn't always gotten along or been close, he would miss her._

"_Johnathon," Douglas Bristow entered the room. "Are you planning to stay much longer?"_

"_Classes start again in a few days. I'll be leaving tomorrow," Jack let his contempt be heard in his voice. His father hadn't wanted him to go to college in the first place and now couldn't wait to be rid of him._

"_Don't use that tone with me; I'm still your father! And we wouldn't be in this situation if _you_ hadn't abandoned your mother!" Douglas accused hi son. "She needed you to take care of her, to get her medications . . ."_

"_You can't blame me! I told you to watch Mom, to monitor her. If you didn't . . . This was _not_ my fault!" Jack tried to defend himself._

_Douglas attempted to lift Jack out of his chair. Jack responded by shoving the older man. Douglas stumbled then drew back his fist. "Get the hell out of my house! Don't ever come back!"_

"_Dad . . . It wasn't my fault . . . Please, you can't blame me!" Despite everything, Jack was hurt by his father's dismissal._

"OUT_!"_

"I never saw of spoke to him again. He died about a year before Sydney was born."

"I always wondered why you seemed so melancholy when we first met. Your father had no right to put that burden on you, you know that don't you?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel like I could have prevented Mom from dying that young."

"Your father was the adult, he should have been the one to take responsibility for the care of your mother. Or if he couldn't do that, he should have put her in a nursing home where she could have been taken care of," she put her arms around him. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Come back to bed now."

"I don't want to wake you . . ."

"I don't care; I want to hold you . . . all night."

Jack didn't protest any further. He didn't really want to spend any more nights on the couch.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

A few days later, Jack was going stir crazy. He was banned from APO until the trial resumed, which was still three days away. He decided to pay a visit to Sydney and JM while Elizabeth and Nadia were at work.

There was no answer when he knocked, so Jack let himself in. He walked straight to JM's room, assuming Sydney was in the shower.

"Hey, little man," he said softly, picking the baby up. "Uh, oh. Looks like Grandpa's on diaper duty."

Jack cleaned and dressed JM then headed to the kitchen. Stopping at Sydney's bedroom, he knocked and waited fro an answer. He heard the bed squeak but no voice.

He knocked again, "Sydney, it's me. Are you awake? Your son is hungry." Without thinking, Jack pushed the door open. There on the bed, were Sydney and Will tangled in the sheets and each other. They hadn't noticed him, so he tried to back out of the room, but JM chose that moment to let his displeasure at such a late breakfast be known.

Will and Sydney paused in their lovemaking. Spying Jack, Will hastened to pull the blankets over their bodies.

"_Dad_!"

"Sorry. I'll get a bottle and take JM to the park."

When Jack returned 45 minutes later, Will was gone and Sydney was at the kitchen table sipping her tea. She glanced up as he placed JM in the high chair and then blushed.

"Did JM eat?"

"A jar of peaches and one of beans. I tried the carrots, but he really doesn't like those," he indicated the orange stains on his grey polo shirt.

"Yeah, I should have warned you. About earlier . . ." Sydney blushed again.

"You don't have to explain to me; you're an adult. Besides, I should have waited for permission before barging in."

There were few moments of silence, though not uncomfortable as they watched JM play.

"Dad?"

"Mhh hmm?" he was still watching his grandson.

"What do you think of Will? I mean do you like him?"

Jack was surprised by her questions. It had never occurred to him that she would seek his approval for _anything_ after all these years. "Of course I like Will, sweetheart. He's a good man and he's always stood by you. Why do you ask?"

"We've been getting closer . . ."

"I gathered that," he interjected dryly.

Sydney smiled and continued, "Sometimes you treat Will like he's an imbecile or give him that look of yours. I thought you didn't have any respect for him."

"On the contrary! Will Tippin has had my respect since he investigated Danny's death. He knew something was wrong, that you could be in danger. And despite the danger to himself, he never backed down, never flinched. Even when his whole life was ruined because of it. He has _always_ put you first."

Sydney let the unspoken implication that Michael hadn't done the same pass. She knew her father hadn't forgiven him for moving on when she'd gone missing. She couldn't blame him; he went to solitary while Michael went to the altar.

"Are you in love with Will?" Jack asked, bluntly.

"I've always loved Will. He's been one of my best friends for years," she clarified. "I'm so glad to have him back in my life and he's been fantastic with JM. I love him just for that.

"He's been so patient with me; never pushing, never forcing the issue. Will's never asked me how I feel even though I know he's in love with me. He hasn't said anything, not in years, but I know. I know because I can see in his eyes what I feel in my heart. I've just been to much of a coward to say the words."

Jack put his arms around her as tears ran down her face. "I love him, Dad."

Sydney managed to compose herself after a few moments her father's comforting embrace. Now she had to turn her attention to JM, who was wailing loudly after dropping his rattle on the floor. She picked them both up and waved for her father to follow her to the living room.

As he sat, Jack decided to come clean about the reason he'd come over in the first place, besides the need to simply get out of the apartment. Several weeks ago, he and Elizabeth had agreed to write their own wedding vows. Although Jack had tried a few times, he hadn't been happy with the results.

He was a smart man, but when it came to expressing his emotions . . . . Every time he put pen to paper, his vows came out too stilted or too flowery. He couldn't seem to find a happy medium. In his desperation with the wedding only a week away, he turned to Sydney.

"So Dad, I know you didn't come over to hear about my love life," Sydney joked, happy to turn the conversation away from her relationship with Will. "Is there something on your mind?"

"Elizabeth and I are writing our own vows."

"That's great, Dad! Did you want to practice?"

"No, I . . ."

The front door opened and Nadia came in. "I decided to take the afternoon off," she explained. "Hi, Jack," she kissed his cheek.

"Hi honey."

"So what's going on?" Nadia asked.

"Dad was going to practice the vows he's written!"

"Cool!"

Jack shook his head and held up his hands. "Hold on a minute! I haven't written any vows, yet. That's why I came."

His daughters exchanged a look and Nadia exclaimed, "You waited until _now_?"

Sydney shushed her sister. "Dad, you know it doesn't have to be poetry. It's about telling her, and us, how you feel."

"I know that. But I can't get it to come out right. It sounds like somebody else wrote them."

"Well, what do you want to say?" Sydney asked as she handed JM over to his aunt and picked up a pen and paper.

Jack couldn't believe he was revealing so much to his daughters, but he didn't want to disappoint Elizabeth. "I lover her more than I ever thought possible. She's kept me sane, kept me alive, made me a better man and I'm grateful."

"That's lovely, Jack! Keep going," encouraged Nadia.

"She helped me see how much I was missing my life with Sydney. She gave me the strength I needed to give Nadia the Rambaldi fluid. She gave me the courage to face my past, my demons and I will spend the rest of my life thanking her for everything she's given me."

Jack stopped talking and watched Sydney scribbling away. Finally she looked up at her father grinning. "Try this:

_ Elizabeth, I love you more than words can express, more than I thought possible. You've shown me what was missing in my life, helped me to reconnect with my daughters.  
You've given me the courage I needed to face my past. You've kept me alive and kept me sane. Your friendship and love has made me a better man.  
I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for everything you've given me._"

Jack was stunned at the perfect speech Sydney had created.

"Wow, Sydney! That was beautiful!" complemented Nadia.

"That is exactly what I was looking for, sweetheart. Absolutely perfect."

"You two seem to forget that I _was_ a Literature major. I just don't get to use those skills while writing mission debriefs.

"Besides, they were your words, Dad. I only did a bit of editing." Sydney blushed at the words of praise.

Jack kissed her cheek. "Maybe. But I would have taken forever to get it right. Thank you."


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Jack spent much of the weekend making his final preparations for Sloane's trial. He poured over mission debriefs, checking facts, covers, and histories. That's where Elizabeth found him late Sunday night, hunched over a stack of files.

She came up behind him and began rubbing his shoulders. "Jack, love, it's after 11. You should come to bed. Besides, I think you've got those files memorized by now."

He didn't answer at first; he continued making notes but leaned into Elizabeth's massage. Jack finished his sentence and lay down his pen. He stared at the paper, but took her hand from his shoulder and kissed the palm.

"Is something wrong, Jack?"

He turned her hand and kissed her knuckles this time. "Nothing's wrong, sweetheart. I simply want to be prepared for whatever they throw at me tomorrow.

"I need to be detached and keep to the facts. The best way for me to keep my emotions in check is to have everything in order. But even I have my limits."

Without warning, Jack pulled Elizabeth into his lap and placed gentle, sensuous kisses just below her ear. She sighed into his embrace, grateful for the contact. They hadn't made love since before Sark had kidnapped Jack and Elizabeth felt like her nerves were on fire from this small touch.

"Did you realize," he kissed her ear, "that at this time next week," he kissed her eyelids this time, "we will be," he kissed the corner of her mouth, "Mr. And Mrs. Johnathon Bristow?" Jack coaxed Elizabeth's mouth open before he realized she'd stopped responding.

"What is it sweetheart? Did I make you nervous?" he gave a small laugh, not expecting her answer.

"You have no idea," she said softly.

Jack was stunned by her admission. "What? Why would you be nervous?"

Elizabeth pulled away to sit next to him. "I don't know how to be a wife. You've _had_ the experience of being married . . ."

"And we know how well that turned out," he said sardonically.

"But it wasn't a fabrication on your part. You were a husband to Laura. I've never had that," she tried to explain. "My relationship with Joseph was doomed from the start because of my feelings for you and the fact that I couldn't tell him about MI-6."

"Elizabeth, I never thought I would have a normal relationship; because of the example set by my parents and that farce of a marriage I had.

"But marriage, husband, wife . . . those are just the formal words. Marriage is two people in a partnership, taking care of one another. You've done that and more. The truth is . . . you've been more of a wife than Laura ever was.

"In _my _mind we've been married for 40 years. The ceremony next week only makes it official," Jack kissed her gently.

"How do you know exactly the right thing to say?" she leaned into his embrace. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Jack stood up and pulled Elizabeth with him. "I need you," he breathed into her mouth, just before he kissed her again.

No more words were spoken as they made their way to the bedroom. It didn't take long for them to shed their clothes. Elizabeth pushed Jack down tenderly on the edge of the bed, then knelt between his legs.

Softly, she stroked the inside of his thighs and he let out a low moan. When Elizabeth took him in her mouth, Jack flopped back on the bed.

He managed to get out a strangled, "You don't . . ."

Elizabeth lifted her head briefly, "Let me do this for you, love."

Slowly, teasingly, she licked and sucked and stroked his erection. Jack could feel his orgasm building and tried to stop her before he came. She ignored his protests and continued her ministrations until he exploded.

He panted as she kissed her way up his body, paying special attention to the fading bruises left by Sark's minions. At last she made it to his lips and lightly traced his mouth with her tongue.

"You didn't have to do that," he said. "Not that I'm complaining."

"I wanted to."

They were on their sides, now, facing each other. Jack planted feather light kisses all over her face, all the while stroking her nipples and caressing her breasts. Then he slipped a hand between them and found her surprisingly wet. He looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"What can I say? I've always liked giving better than receiving," she quirked a smile.

He returned it then slid inside her. Their pace was long and leisurely. They simply enjoyed each other's bodies until they were sated.

The next morning, they arrived at the CIA's field office and headed to the basement where the courtroom was located. Once there, Jack and Elizabeth separated; he had to wait in the witness room until they were ready for him.

She kissed his cheek, "You'll be fine, Jack. All you have to do is tell the truth."

"I know. I just don't like the fact that I have to be in the same room as Arvin Sloane."

"Don't even look at him and if you get the urge, focus on me or Sydney or Nadia instead."

He nodded and gave her a quick kiss before leaving her. She sighed, hating what he would go through over the next two days.

The prosecuting attorney took his time in reviewing what Jack knew about Sloane and his crimes. At times the judge asked her own questions, clarifying responses. Except for a brief break for lunch, Jack was kept on the stand until almost four o'clock.

At that point, the defense attorney was given leave to begin his line of questioning.

"Your Honor, I only have five general questions. I think it would be better to start fresh tomorrow," he suggested.

"I agree," the judge said. "Court adjourned until nine am tomorrow morning."

The prosecutor, Adam Hargrave, pulled no punches. He began as soon as the judge reminded Jack that he was still under oath. It was clear from the get-go just where Hargrave's line of questioning was headed.

"Mr. Bristow, when did you first meet my client?"

"In 1970. He was my superior at the CIA."

"And when did you become friends?"

"Shortly thereafter. I was on the fast track and quickly became his equal."

"So whose idea was it to begin Project Christmas?"

There was a gasp from the gallery and Judge Turpin quickly silenced it with a bang of her gavel.

"Arvin brought it to me," Jack was not going to offer additional information unless asked.

"And why did you use it on your own daughter?"

A mask dropped over Jack's face. He should have known this was coming. "I had no choice. After Irina Derevko was extracted, I was forced to prove my loyalty in many ways. The CIA needed guinea pigs for the program. If I had thought for once instant that Sydney would have been harmed in nay way, I would have refused."

"How did your daughter react when she found out?"

"She wasn't pleased."

"Indeed. How did you feel when Mr. Sloane recruited her against your wishes?"

"I was not pleased."

"And yet you did nothing to ensure her safety."

Jack looked at the judge, "I'm sorry, was that a question?"

"If you have a point, I suggest you come to it," ordered Turpin.

"Of course, Your Honor. I'll rephrase. Why didn't you tell your daughter what she was really involved in?" clarified Hargrave.

"You must understand that I was a double agent. I couldn't expose what Sydney was doing without breaking my cover. It would have been dangerous for both of us.

"I did my best to keep my daughter out of harm's way. I made sure she was partnered with Marcus Dixon, a man whom I recruited and trusted."

"You recruited unwitting men and women into a faction you knew to be working against American interests?"

Jack slapped himself mentally; he'd walked right into that. He willed himself not to become defensive. "As part of my cover, I did recruit CIA agents. This was done with the full knowledge and approval of my superiors at the CIA."

"Indeed," Hargrave replied. He shuffled some papers on his table then turned back to face Jack. "Let's discuss your murder of your wife."

Jack felt his face flame with anger as the prosecutor yelled, "Objection!"

"Goes to character, Your Honor," countered Hargrave.

"Overrule, but tread very lightly Mr. Hargrave."

"Mr. Bristow, why exactly did you shoot your wife?"

"First, Irina Derevko was never truly my wife; we were married under false pretenses. Secondly, the person I shot in Vienna was _not _Irina Derevko; she was a double. And lastly, I received intel that my daughter was about to be assassinated by that woman; I had to act."

"And murder was your only option?"

Jack struggled to maintain his composure as he replied, "This was a sanctioned CIA hit."

"That couldn't have been performed by another agent, perhaps at long distance?"

"No, it couldn't. The point of the mission was to make absolutely sure that Irina Derevko was taken out for good. My previous . . . relationship made me the best agent for the job."

"Apparently not, since you didn't 'take out' the right bad guy."

"Objection, Your Honor. Argumentative."

"Sustained. Counselor, I believe you've made your point. Move on."

Hargrave once again glanced at his notes. "One final question, Mr. Bristow. Could you please explain the circumstances surrounding my client's execution and subsequent resurrection tow years ago?"

Jack didn't blink at this question. In truth, he'd been expecting it much earlier. He explained the situation matter-of-factly and sat back in his chair.

"But isn't it true that your daughter had to convince you to act in the first place?"

"Yes. I didn't believe Arvin; he has a penchant for lying especially when he's backed into a corner."

"You seem to have derived a certain amount of satisfaction from my client's 'death.'"

"On the contrary. Arvin was a friend, for a long time. Until he became obsessed with Milo Rambaldi."

"Nothing further," Hargrave ended his cross-examination rather abruptly.

As Jack predicted the defense attorney did not want to go down the slippery slope of the Italian genius.

Judge Turpin turned to the prosecutor, "Do you have anything for re-direct?"

"One question, Your Honor." He stood and faced the witness stand, "Agent Bristow, do you believe that Arvin Sloane should be put to death for his crimes?"

"Objection!"

"Overruled. I'd like to hear your opinion, Agent Bristow."

Jack thought carefully about what he was about to say. "I had hoped that when he found Nadia Santos, that having a daughter of his own, Arvin would realize that there was more to life than Rambaldi. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I don't know if it was because he knew Nadia was not his or if that mattered at all.

"Despite our friendship, I do feel that he should be executed. Arvin's crimes have gone beyond the pale. He's not the man I once knew."

"Thank you, Agent Bristow. You may step down."

Jack and his family did not stay for the closing arguments. They had done their parts and now it was up to the judge to render her verdict. They didn't have to wait long to hear. APO was notified just after one o'clock the next afternoon. Judge Turpin had reached a decision.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37 

They had gathered at Jack's apartment after the verdict had been read. JM was napping in his swing while the adults drank wine. Jack was strangely silent, unsure of his own reaction.

"Dad? You ok?" Sydney asked quietly.

"I think so. I didn't expect it to happen so fast."

When court was back in session, Judge Turpin wasted no time in delivering her verdict: Arvin Sloane was guilty, sentenced to death by lethal injection. To ensure that it went off without any possibility of failure, Sloane would be executed at midnight.

Sydney moved away from her father to sit with Will who put his arm around her. "Is he all right?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. He's acting oddly; he's too quiet, even for him."

Will shrugged, "They were friends, before Sloane turned into a whack job."

Jack continued to nurse his wine, wishing for the first time in years for something stronger. Nadia joined him, her own feelings mixed.

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you all right?" Jack pulled himself out of his own morose thought.

"I'm doing fine. It's just weird; I feel like I should be happy or at least relieved. But I'm not; I'm actually kind of sad."

"I understand. You thought he was your father and he gave you something you never had."

Nadia impulsively gave him a hug, "I never felt half as good about Sloane being my father as I do now that I know the truth. I'm much happier with you as my father."

When she moved away, he sighed. He knew how she felt, uncertain of his feelings about an international terrorist. He should hate Arvin, and yet on some level, he felt sorry for the man.

Jack felt Elizabeth's arm slip around his waist and he turned to kiss her temple.

"You know, it's all right to be upset, love," Elizabeth said, sympathetically.

He nodded. "Arvin was a good friend, once upon a time. Before Irina, before Emily lost their baby, before Rambaldi consumed his life.

"I think I'm mourning the man he once was, the man he could have been. Things could have been different, for both of us."

She squeezed him tighter. "I know. But you both made your choices. You resisted temptation, despite what had happened to you. Sloane used what happened to him as an excuse to give in to that temptation."

The phone rang and Sydney picked up. "Hey, Dixon. Yeah, we're all here. They did? You're joking! All right, I'll let them know."

"What is it Sydney?" Jack asked.

"The committee reviewing Sark's case has reached a decision. There won't be a trial; he's violated the agreement he had with the U.S. government and is beyond pardon. He'll be executed tomorrow night at midnight."

Surprise was mirrored on everyone's face, but there was no regret for _this _man's life.

It was nearing midnight, but no one had left. Elizabeth refilled everyone's glass and proposed a toast.

"To our freedom from two evil men."

"To his release from his pain," replied Nadia.

"To my friend," Jack said, quietly.

The minutes ticked away and the little group stayed silent well past the hour. Then Elizabeth pulled aside Sydney and Nadia; her sister would be arriving the next afternoon and she wanted them to come to the airport with her.

Will took the opportunity to sidle up to Jack. "Jack? I was wondering if I could speak with you . . . in private?"

Jack raised his eyebrows, but silently led the way to the library. He waited expectantly for Will to continue.

"I don't know if this the right time, especially with everything that's happened today, I mean yesterday . . . you know what I mean.

"Anyway, I just thought it would be all right to talk with you now since you can't kill me with your daughter and fiancée in the next room . . ."

"Focus, Mr. Tippin. What exactly are you trying to get out?" Jack had a pretty good idea, but it was amusing to see Will fumble around the subject.

"I, well, I want to ask for your permission to marry Sydney."

Jack gave a bark of laughter. "You haven't talked to Sydney about his have you?"

"I, well, no. Why?"

"Never mind. I'll let her tell you." The two previous proposals were at the forefront of Jack's memory. He truly believe Danny's phone call was exactly as he told it: a way for him to make Jack a charming anecdote. Vaughn's had been worse, for it was done almost grudgingly, an obligation.

Will, on the other hand, sought permission because he thought it was the right thing to do. His motives were sincere; he wanted to make Sydney happy.

"You're going to say no aren't you?" Will was hurt; he thought he'd made progress with Jack, that he didn't think he was a moron. "I know I'm probably not what you'd imagine for Sydney, but . . ."

"You have my permission."

Will rambled on for another few seconds before Jack's words set in. "Really? You're saying . . ."

"Yes. You love Sydney and she loves you. You have _always_ stood by her, no matter the circumstances. I'm giving you my blessing with no hesitation." Jack held out his hand.

Will ignored the hand and enveloped Jack in a bear hug. Jack responded much the same as the first time Will hugged him. He brought his own arms up slowly, but did return the embrace.

"Thank you, Jack. I promise I'll make her happy."

Jack pulled away, "I know you will; you already do. Now, when were you planning on asking Sydney?"

"Well . . . I hadn't quite gotten that far." 

"I have an idea," Jack said, conspiratorially.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Allison's plane arrived a little after eleven the next morning. After unpacking and freshening up Elizabeth, Sydney, and Nadia took her out for lunch and girl talk. The rest of Elizabeth's family would descend upon them the next morning and Jack was tying up loose ends at APO. Will was watching the baby and, unbeknownst to Sydney, making some last minute preparations for the rehearsal dinner that evening.

Jack arrived home just before Elizabeth and Allison. He had signed off on Arvin's burial and what would have been his testimony at Sark's trial. Now he was hoping to relax and let himself absorb everything that had happened and was about to happen. Jack was also hoping for some time to prepare himself to finally meet Elizabeth's family.

Just as Jack settled down on the couch, the door opened to reveal a giggling Elizabeth. Right behind her was a woman who he could only assume was Allison. He stood and kissed Elizabeth. Then he was caught in a warm embrace.

"It's so good to finally meet you," Allison told him. "I'm glad that you and Elizabeth have gotten your acts together! She's been pining for you since college."

"I'm glad to meet you, too. I was sorry to hear about your husband."

Allison pulled back, "Elizabeth told you? And you remembered?"

"It was important. Elizabeth _and_her family have always been important to me."

Allison smiled at her sister. She knew that they were meant for each other, and it didn't hurt that Jack Bristow was extremely good-looking man. "Well, I'm going to go rest for a while. Could you wake me an hour before we have to leave?"

Elizabeth nodded and then joined Jack on the couch. "Everything all right at work?"

"Yes. Sark will be executed as planned. Did you have a good afternoon with Allison and the girls?" Jack changed the subject quickly.

"It was wonderful! It was as if they'd known each other for years instead of hours."

"That's great, sweetheart."

Jack seemed a bit distracted, but Elizabeth chalked it up to nerves. Her own crept up on her at the most unexpected times. As she mused, the phone rang. She picked it up and then handed it to Jack, mouthing, "Will."

"Yes?"

On the other end, Will's voice was barely audible, "Is everything ready?"

"It's been taken care of. Are _you_ ready?"

"I think so."

"Let's have a little more confidence, Will. You've faced down international terrorists."

"Yeah, but Sydney was always on _my_side at the time."

"You'll be fine."

"All right. Thanks for doing this, Jack."

"You're welcome. See you tonight."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, "What was that all about?"

"Can't a man have any secrets? You'll find out soon enough," Jack replied mysteriously.

The rehearsal was at a pavilion close to the carousel Sydney used to ride while Jack and Laura watched. It was a beautiful spot, one where Jack and Sydney had begun to repair the rift between them.

The ceremony went off without a hitch; the official vows were substituted for the ones they'd written. Now they were at the party house they'd rented, enjoying a relaxed meal of roast beef and mashed potatoes.

Jack looked around at the eclectic group. His family, in truth, should have been limited to Sydney and Nadia. But Sydney realized that Marshall meant a lot to him and had extended an invitation to him and Carrie. Dixon brought Robin and Steven, and was now talking animatedly with Allison. Will had his arm around Sydney, as did Eric with Nadia.

Within minutes both men had led the women to the dance floor. Others followed, including Jack and Elizabeth. But 20 minutes later, he led her off and sat behind a piano that no one had paid attention to. One by one, couples left the floor until only Sydney and Will remained.

"What's going on?" Sydney asked Will.

"Nothing. Just dance with me."

Jack began playing the song Will had picked out. It was a rock song, but Jack thought Will had made a good choice. He rich baritone filled the hall as Sydney and Will danced as if no one were watching.

_The perfect words never crossed my mind_

_Cause there's nothing in there but you._

_I felt every ounce of me screaming out,_

_But the sound was trapped deep in me._

_All I wanted just sped right past me,_

_While I was rooted fast to the Earth._

_I could be stuck here for a thousand years,_

_Without your arms to drag me out._

_There you are standing right in front of me_

_There you are standing right in front of me_

_All this fear falls away to leave me naked,_

_Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety_

_No I don't want to wait forever_

_No I don't want to wait forever_

_In the confusion and the aftermath,_

_You are my signal fire._

_The only resolution and the only joy,_

_Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes._

_There you are standing right in front of me_

_There you are standing right in front of me_

_All this fear falls away to leave me naked,_

_Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety_

_No I don't want to wait forever_

_No I don't want to wait forever_

_There you are standing right in front of me_

_There you are standing right in front of me_

_All this fear falls away to leave me naked,_

_Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety_

_No I don't want to wait forever_

_No I don't want to wait forever_

_No I don't want to wait forever_

When the piano faded away, Will dropped to one knee.

"Will?" Sydney was in shock.

"Sydney, I have been in love with you since our freshman year of college. I love your son like he was my own. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and JM. Will you marry me?" He pulled out a silver ring with a small emerald jewel in the center.

"You did all of this for me? And you got Dad to help? I don't know what to say!"

"Say 'yes.' Don't leave me hanging!"

"I love you, too. Of course I'll marry you!" Sydney pulled him to his feet and kissed him soundly.

The room applauded and Jack tugged Elizabeth close, "So does this meet with your approval?"

"I couldn't think of a nicer surprise, love. Now it's your turn." She sauntered over to the DJ's table, spoke quickly and quietly, then came back to his side.

This time it was Elizabeth who led Jack to the floor as their guests watched.

_I just want to see you_

_When you're all alone_

_I just want to catch you if I can_

_I just want to be there_

_When the morning light explodes_

_On your face it radiates_

_I can't escape_

_I love you 'till the end_

_I just want to tell you but dear,_

_You don't want to hear_

_All I want is for you to say_

_Why don't you just take me where I've never been before_

_I know you want to hear me_

_Catch breath_

_I love you 'till the end_

_I just want to be there_

_When we're caught in the rain_

_I just want to see you laugh not cry_

_I just want to feel you_

_When the night puts on its cloak_

_I'm lost for words don't tell me_

_All I can say_

_I love you 'till the end_

That night Jack and Elizabeth lay curled up in bed, her head on his bare chest.

"Jack?"

"Hmm?"

"Jack," Elizabeth hesitated, then plunged right in. "Did you love Irina?"

Jack was startled. "Where did that come from?"

"I'm not sure. But I was hoping that you would be open to a discussion."

"Kind of an odd time for one," he murmured, lowly. "No, I didn't love Irina Derevko. I did love Laura Webber. Or at least the idea of her.

"You had gone home, more was expected of me a work. Then, out of nowhere, a beautiful woman started flirting with me. I needed that, someone to comfort me.

"Any feelings I once had for Irina were simply residual from my life with Laura. They were quickly dispatched, especially after seeing the woman in action.

"I have always loved _you_ Elizabeth. Nothing has every changed the fact that my heart belongs to you.

"Now what brought this discussion on?"

"I guess I've always wondered," Elizabeth admitted. "I needed to hear your answer."

Jack kissed her long and hard. "The only _good_that came from Irina was my two daughters. You gave me a lifetime of love and enduring friendship."

She returned his embrace. "Our relationship has been a two way street. What I've given to has always been returned. I love you so much, Jack."

"I love you, too. Now let's get some sleep; we've got a big day tomorrow."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

The next morning, his daughters rushed Jack unceremoniously from his apartment. It was bad luck, according to Nadia, to see his bride before the wedding. Instead he would be spending the day with Will, picking up the rest of Elizabeth's siblings from the airport. He grabbed his suit, kissed his girls, then left.

Will greeted him at the door. "Hey, Jack. Marcus and Eric are here already. We'll get you to the church on time, don't worry."

Jack smiled and moved to hang up his suit when Will put a hand on his arm. "Thank you again for last night. I'll be good to Sydney, I promise."

"I know you will. And it was my pleasure to play for you. Now, are you ready to go?"

"Go where?"

"I have to meet the rest of Elizabeth's family at the airport. And you are coming with me."

Will rolled his eyes and ducked his head into the living room. "Hey guys, we'll be back in a bit. Jack's in-laws are arriving. Keep an eye on JM, please."

They made it in time to see that the Powell's plane had just landed. Jack wasn't sure why he decided to drag Will along, other than he hadn't wanted to meet Elizabeth's brothers on his own. Now that he'd proposed to Sydney Will was part of Jack's family and therefore perfectly reasonable back up.

It was about 20 minutes before they started to see passengers come up the concourse and another 10 before Jack recognized Elizabeth's oldest brother, Duncan. He stepped up with his hand extended.

"Duncan?"

"Yes?"

"Jack Bristow . . ."

Duncan didn't let him finish. He pulled his fist back and landed a solid punch to Jack's nose. "That's for hurting my sister."

When he moved again, Will stepped up. "Uh, guys, we're in an airport. I don't think we should get into this here, unless you _want_ to be subjected to a strip search." "I will let you get away with that once. One time because you're right."

Duncan looked Jack over, then held out his hand, "Welcome to the family."

Jack accepted the hand, then turned to the other members of his soon-to-be extended family. The man who had walked next to Duncan and was now holding his hand, held out a handkerchief.

"You must be Christopher," Jack surmised as he wiped the blood from his nose.

"Call me Kit and excuse the brute here. He doesn't like to see his family hurt."

Jack shook his hand, "Then we have something in common. And you must be Nathaniel and Cora."

"Nice to meet you, finally," Nathaniel offered.

"Likewise. This is my oldest daughter's fiancé, Will Tippin."

Another round of handshakes ensued before they headed off to baggage claim. They stopped at the hotel so they could check in, then Will took Cora to Jack's apartment. It was close to one o'clock before he was finally back home.

"He did what?" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Duncan hit your fiancé." Cora was quick to reassure her sister-in-law, "Jack is fine, just a bloody nose."

"What about Duncan?"

"He's fine. Jack didn't touch him."

"Well, Duncan's an idiot," Allison chimed in.

Sydney leaned in and whispered low enough that only Nadia and Elizabeth could hear, "They have no idea."

Both women stifled a grin.

"Let's get this show on the road. We've only got a few hours before we need to leave for the park," insisted Allison.

"Jack, take it easy, will you?" Dixon advised.

Jack was pacing the living room restlessly as the rest of the men watched in amusement. He had no idea how he was going to kill the next few hours.

"Why don't you sit down and relax?" suggested Will.

"You talk to me about relaxing when it's your turn," Jack growled.

Kit stood directly in his path. "Sit down, man. You're making every nervous"

'You know we could just get him drunk," Eric whispered to Will.

"Yeah, and then Elizabeth will kick our collective asses and get Nadia and Sydney to help," he replied.

"True. Well you're Jack's new best friend. What do you suggest?"

"Shut up!"

Kit and Dixon forced Jack to the couch. "I'd like to hear how you and Elizabeth met," said Nathaniel, conversationally.

Jack glanced cautiously at both of Elizabeth's brothers. Duncan was still occasionally sending him looks meant to kill, or at the very least incapacitate. He heaved an internal sigh; at least it would distract him from his wedding jitters.

"We met at Berkeley when Elizabeth was on her study abroad visa . . ." Jack launched into a civilian-approved version how-we-met story.

At Jack's apartment, the women were fussing over Elizabeth's hair and make-up. Cora was being filled in on Jack and Elizabeth's love story.

"That's absolutely incredible! And you've managed to stay together all these years? Marriage should be a cinch!"

Elizabeth smiled and nodded. She ran her fingers through her damp hair. The butterflies in her stomach were beating their wings at a furious rate.

Nadia sat next to her saying, "Let me do that." She blew Elizabeth's hair dry, helping it to fall softly around her face. Then Sydney ran sky blue ribbons through the blonde locks.

"You look lovely," said Allison.

"Perfect," Cora agreed.

"I think now would be a good time for the 'something old something new' routine," Sydney suggested.

Allison took a small box from her purse and handed it to Elizabeth. "This was Mom's. Dad gave it to her for their 25th wedding anniversary."

Elizabeth smiled as she opened the box. Inside was a cameo in the shape of a claddagh. She could remember her mother wearing the necklace on special occasions and then putting it away in her jewelry case. The chain had broken after their father's death; their mother had never replaced it or worn it again.

"Thank you, Allison. I can't believe you remembered. I've always loved this necklace. Let me see if I can find a chain to put it on."

Nadia put a hand on her arm. "Open this first."

It was another small box; this one revealed a silver choker. It was thin enough to be able to slip on the cameo. "It's beautiful, Nadia! How did you know?"

"We have our ways," Nadia answered, mysteriously.

It was Cora's turn now. "I had a lot of fun finding this!" she handed Elizabeth a small bag.

Elizabeth dug through the tissue paper, finally coming up with a tiny, sky blue scrap of material. She held it up for inspection and raised an eyebrow at her sister-in-law.

"Blue silk and lace. I'm sure Jack will be . . . surprised," giggled Cora.

Sydney and Nadia blushed as they stared at the garter. "I have no intentions of being around when Dad takes that off of Elizabeth," whispered Sydney.

"Me neither. We'll be off getting the cake ready," replied her sister.

Elizabeth slid the garter up her leg. It matched the overskirt of her ivory wedding dress. Jack would enjoy removing it, but not as much as she would.

Sydney moved next to her now. "I can't tell you how happy I am for you and Dad. You deserve a life filled with good times.

"I want you to wear this during the ceremony," she dropped a small item into Elizabeth's hand.

Elizabeth examined and realized it was a Saint Nicholas medal.

"Dad gave this to me . . . a long time ago. I had broken my leg and it was the first time I was in the hospital. I was scared to death even though Dad had carried me a mile or more back to the car.

"As we waited for the doctor, Dad pulled this out and told me the story of Saint Nicholas. He explained how Saint Nicholas was the patron saint of children and that he would keep me safe.

"I told Dad I didn't want Saint Nicholas, I only wanted him to protect me. Dad laughed and said that between him and Saint Nick, I'd always be safe.

"I'd like you to wear this to remind Dad, and you, that he's always kept his promises. He's kept me safe since I was six years old. I know he'll do the same for you."

Elizabeth hugged her. "I'm so honored, Sydney. This has been lovely everyone," she dabbed her eyes.

"Oh no you don't," Cora warned. "We spent way too much time getting that make-up just right."

"Let's get you dressed. We have to leave soon," Allison pointed out.

"So you couldn't figure out a way to stay together?" demanded Duncan.

Kit, now seated next to his partner, took his hand to try and cool Duncan's temper. "Let Jack finish," he chided.

"Neither one of us were brave enough to tell the other how we felt. And I have regretted that ever since," Jack explained.

"But you married another woman within a year of my sister leaving. That is not the action of a man desperately in love . . ."

"I love your sister. I have loved her almost since the day I met her. My life with Laura was not what I planned or hoped for and I truly wish that Sydney and Nadia were my daughters with _Elizabeth_. But I can't have any remorse about the fact that I have two beautiful daughters. And I see no reason to justify myself to you any more."

As if on cue, JM started crying. Jack used that as an excuse to leave the room. He went to the nursery and picked up his crying grandson.

"Hey there. You've got good timing, my boy. Ugh, in more ways than one. If I was dressed, your Daddy would be changing your diaper, not me."

Will stood stock still in the doorway, not believing his ears. Had Jack_really_ called him JM's father?

"Stop hovering Will," Jack had noticed him as he placed JM on the changing table.

"Jack, do you, uh, really think of me . . . you know . . ." Will trailed off.

Jack glanced at him, "Do I think of you as JM's father?

"You came back into Sydney's life after three years of living in Witness Protection. You had every right to be bitter over what had happened to you. To hate both Sydney and me, especially.

"Instead, you stepped in and, with no questions asked, began raising this little boy as your own.

"Johnathon Michael is _your_ son, Will. Maybe not biologically, but in every other way that counts."

Will fought the lump in his throat. "Thank you, Jack," he said quietly.

"Everything I said is true. So you get to finish changing him. And put him in the outfit Sydney picked out."

Will rolled his eyes at JM, "Sorry about this little man. Mommy's orders." Sydney had managed to find a onesie that looked like a tux.

Jack's temper had cooled, but he chose to go to the bedroom to change rather than the living room to talk. He dressed quickly, the ivory suit and shirt matched Elizabeth's gown. The tie he was now struggling with was sky blue.

He threw the tie down and was fastening his cufflinks when there was a knock on the door. "You almost ready, Jack?"

Will entered without waiting for a response. Jack looked over at him. "Nearly. I've somehow forgotten how to tie a tie."

"Here, I'll do it. JM's ready to go and I think Duncan has cooled off," he handed the tie back.

"Thanks," Jack adjusted the offending garment. "Is there something else?"

"Yeah. I got you something. It isn't much . . . I hope you like it." Will gave him a small, square box.

Jack took it with a sidelong glance. Inside was a silver tie tack in the shape of a claddagh. He pulled it out and attached it to his tie before turning back to Will.

Jack held out his hand but tugged Will into a hug. "Thank you."

They walked out to the living room where Duncan stood and held out his hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have attacked you. Elizabeth is my little sister and I've seen her pine after you since college. I didn't realize the extent of what your first . . . wife did to you. Marcus filled me in," Duncan clarified at Jack's raised eyebrow.

Jack accepted his brother-in-law's hand with good grace. Then he looked at the time. "We should get moving. We need to be at the gazebo before the ladies."

The park had graciously agreed to let the wedding party set up a small tent where Elizabeth and her bridesmaids could 'hide' until they were to walk down the aisle. After a few last minute adjustments and touch-ups, _Canon in D_ could be heard in the distance.

Allison made her exit, followed by Sydney and Nadia. Then Elizabeth was on her own; she was ready to walk down the aisle to meet the man of her dreams.

Jack couldn't take his eyes off of Elizabeth as she closed the gap between them. He was absolutely mesmerized by her beauty and barely heard Pastor Robbins begin the ceremony.

Elizabeth stared at Jack; he was stunningly handsome in his suit and he was wearing a tie tack that matched her cameo. She was so absorbed in him that she nearly missed her cue to begin her vows.

"That's you," Sydney whispered.

Elizabeth blushed and took a deep breath. "Jack, my love. We've waited for this moment for so very long. Through the years I felt that it might never happen and I contented myself with knowing that we had a deep friendship.

"You are the gentlest, bravest man that I've ever known and you have always taken care of me when I needed it the most. I am honored to become your wife.

"I waited 40 years for this and I would have waited another 40 if I had to. You are the love of my life," Elizabeth finished softly, tears glistening in her eyes.

"And you're mine," he returned.

"Jack would you like to share your vows now?" Pastor Robbins prompted.

It was Jack's turn to breathe deeply and take the plunge. "Elizabeth, I love you so much. More than words can express, more than I thought possible. You showed me what was missing in my life and helped me reconnect with my daughters.

"You gave me the courage I needed to face my past. You've kept me alive, kept me sane. Your friendship and love have made me a better man.

"I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for everything you've given me."

"That was beautiful, love," Elizabeth said.

They exchanged silver wedding bands and Pastor Robbins announced, "By the power vest in my by the state of California, I now pronounce you man and wife. What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder.

"You may kiss the bride," she added.

"I know that," Jack smiled. He leaned forward, placing a light lingering kiss on Elizabeth's lips. As he started to pull away, she grabbed the back of his head, deepening the kiss. Elizabeth didn't let go until she had her fill; by then, the congregation was laughing quietly and clapping.

It was a short ride to the party hall; Jack and Elizabeth had to make sure all their guests arrived before they did. They held hands as they entered to thunderous applause.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present: Mr. and Mrs. Johnathon Bristow!" Marcus boomed.

As they made their way to the dais, Atticus stepped up to shake Jack's hand. "I'll say it again, you are one lucky bastard, Bristow! And you look beautiful, Elizabeth!"

They both smiled and Elizabeth kissed Atticus' cheek before moving on. The tables seated three or four, which made for a cozy atmosphere. The meal itself was punctuated by silverware tapping against glasses, forcing the bride and groom to stop and kiss.

At last, dinner was over and it was time for the toasts. As best man, Marcus stood first.

"Jack, you and I haven't always seen eye to eye. But I have always respected and admired you, especially in the last few years. You've mended your relationship with Sydney and formed a new one with Nadia.

"I'm glad that you and Elizabeth have found happiness at last," Marcus raised his glass.

Sydney was next. "My father hasn't had an easy life, not by a long shot. And I haven't always helped in that regard.

"I've watched him in his loneliness, hoping that someone would come along and be able to reach him in his isolation. Elizabeth, you have provided the succor that Dad has needed. You took what he could offer without complaints and gave him everything he needed.

"You are perfect for each other and I love you both," she leaned over and kissed each of them on the cheek before continuing.

"_Love is friendship that has caught fire._

_It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing, and forgiving._

_It is loyalty through good and bad._

_It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weakness._

_Love is content with the present._

_It hopes for the future and it doesn't brood over the past._

_It is the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals._"

Nadia hugged her sister as her turn came around. "My father and I have only recently come to know the truth about our relationship. But he's been more than generous considering the circumstances.

"You brought me back from the brink of death. Dad," her voice broke on the word, "I love you, very much."

Jack stood and gathered his youngest daughter in his arms, his own emotions rioting to the surface. He hadn't imagined how much he needed to hear her call him 'Dad'. "I love you, too, sweetheart."

Nadia wiped her tears and finished her toast.

"_Dance as though no one is watching you._

_Love as though you have never loved before._

_Sing as though no one can hear you._

_And live as though Heaven is on Earth._"

After dessert, Jack led Elizabeth to the dance floor. They put their arms around one another and swayed to the music. Jack led her with an easy grace, surprising their audience.

"I didn't know you could dance. Not this well, anyway," Elizabeth complimented.

"It's because I have the perfect partner," he replied.

Elizabeth fingered his tie tack. "Where did this come from?"

"Will gave it to me this afternoon. Why?"

She held up the cameo, "Allison gave me this; it was our mother's. And Nadia gave me the chain."

"Sounds like a conspiracy," Jack murmured against her hair.

"Mmm." Elizabeth laid her head on his chest and let him lead her across the floor.

"_Find me here  
And speak to me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That's leading me  
To the place  
Where I find peace again_

_You are the strength  
That keeps me walking  
You are the hope  
That keeps me trusting  
You are the life  
To my soul  
You are my purpose  
You're everything_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_You calm the storms  
And you give me rest  
You hold me in your hands  
You won't let me fall  
You still me heart  
And you take my breath away  
Would you take me in  
Take me deeper now_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_Cause you're all I want  
You're all I need  
You're everything_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_"

Once their song had finished, other couples joined them. They came and went, resting as needed; checking on children as needed.

Eventually Jack cut in to dance with Sydney. "Follow me, sweetheart," he took her by the hand and twirled her around. "I think you know this . . . I hope you do. I am so proud of you. You have gone through more than most women twice your age have had to handle.

"I'm happy that you have a man in your life who deserves you and JM. And I hope you know that I will always be here for you, whenever you need me. I love you, Sydney."

"I love you, too, Dad."

"_From the first breath of her life, she flew straight into my arms  
I used to catch her from the swings when she was five  
And now she dances on the wind in a world as hard as stone  
She's so anxious to begin and ready to fly_

_And she walks with me and she walks with me  
And I hold her hand in mine  
I know she'll find her way like the light of day  
Cause it's love that makes her strong_

_Though I cannot stop the rain and I cannot turn the tide  
And I am sure there will be things that break her heart  
I can only let her know, I am always on her side  
And even as I let her go, I'll never be far_

_Now she walks with me and she walks with me  
In her eyes I see her truth born  
Of her fire and grace as she finds her place  
Cause it's love that makes her strong_

_And she walks with me and she walks with me  
And I hold her hand in mine  
I know she'll find her way like the light of day  
Cause it's love that makes her strong  
It's her love that makes her strong_"

Jack maneuvered her back to Will and then picked up Nadia for the next dance. "Hey there, honey."

"Hey, Dad," she responded, shyly.

"I want you to know how much it means to me that you're my daughter. I wish that I had been allowed to be a part of your life sooner, but I _am_ going to make up for lost time. I love you, Nadia."

"I love you, too."

"_No one here to guide you  
Now you're on your own  
Only me beside you  
Still you're not alone  
No one is alone, truly  
No one is alone_

_Sometimes people leave  
Halfway through the wood  
Others may deceive you  
You decide what's good  
You decide alone  
But no one is alone_

_People make mistakes  
Fathers, mothers  
People make mistakes  
Holding to their own  
Thinking they're alone_

_Honor their mistakes  
Everybody makes  
One another's terrible mistakes  
Witches can be right  
Giants can be good  
You decide what's right  
You decide what's good  
Just remember_

_Someone's on your side  
Someone else is not  
While you're seeing your side  
Maybe you forgot  
They are not alone  
No one is alone_

_Hard to see the light now  
Just don't let it go  
Things will come out right now  
We can make is so  
Someone's on your side  
No one is alone._"

Before the party broke up around midnight, everyone gathered for one last dance. Jack looked around at his family: Sydney, Nadia, Will, Eric, Allison, Marcus, Nathaniel, Cora, Duncan, Kit and was content.

"_We are born one fine day  
Children of God on our way  
Mama smiles, Daddy cries  
Miracle before their eyes  
They protect us til we're of age  
Through it all, love remains_

_Boy moves on, takes a bride  
She stands faithful by his side  
Tears and sweat, they build a home  
Raise a family of their own  
They share joy, they share pain  
Though it all, love remains_

_Kingdoms come and go they don't last  
Before you know the future is the past  
In spite of what's been lost  
Or what's been gained  
We are living proof, love remains_

_I don't know, baby, what I'd do  
On this earth without you  
We all live, we all die  
But the end is not good-bye  
The sun comes up and seasons change  
Through it all love remains  
An eternal burning flame  
Hope lives on and love remains_"


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40 – Epilogue**

**Summer 2011**

Jack lay next to Elizabeth in their beach chairs. Their grandchildren were playing in the sand not far away. Elizabeth had fallen asleep in the warm sun while Jack read and kept an eye and ear out for the kids. Both sets of parents were off sight-seeing.

"Grandpa Jack! Grandpa Jack!" Two-year-old Laura fairly danced around him. She was the picture of Sydney at that age.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"JM pushed!"

"He pushed you?" Jack was confused. Five-year-old JM loved his siblings.

"No, 'nother boy."

"All right, let's see."

Laura led the way to an interesting scene. The Bristow-Tippin-Weiss cousins had closed ranks around four-year-old EJ, Nadia and Eric's son. Eric Jr. had been diagnosed with Asberger's Syndrome; it was mild and they could afford to have a therapist work with him several times a week.

JM was standing over another little boy, his small fists raised and expression fierce. "You better say you're sorry or I'll hit you again!"

"Johnathon Michael Bristow!" Jack didn't raise his voice but every single child looked his way. "You know better than that."

Liam, Laura's twin brother, was sitting with his arm around his cousin and piped up. "But Grandpa, Sam was being mean to EJ. He called him stupid!"

Sam was presumably the boy on the ground. Jack picked him up and dusted him off. "JM, come over here and apologize."

"Grandpa Jack . . ."

"Now, young man."

"Sorry I pushed you," JM said sullenly.

"Maggie, EJ come here please." Maggie tugged her older brother's hand, something he usually didn't allow. "Why don't you explain to Sam why EJ is different."

EJ was a quiet, sensitive boy, and incredibly bright. At this age he thrived on his schedules; loud noises and strangers tended to bother him. But his sister and cousins loved him and protected him. Even the twins, who could be rambunctious, knew to be gentle with EJ.

"My bwothew has Asbewgew's," said Maggie. "He doesn't like stwangews, they scare him."

"Can't he talk?" said the boy scornfully.

"I can talk, but not to you," EJ interrupted. "You are too loud."

"I don't want to be your friend anyway, you're weird." Sam walked away.

"Well, you're a jerk!" JM said, angrily.

"JM! It's his loss," Jack put a hand on his shoulder. "All right everyone, let's pack up and get back. It's almost time for lunch."

"Can we get woom sewvice?" Maggie asked.

"No, no! Grandma Elizabeth!" cried the twins in unison.

Jack lifted EJ and kissed his cheek, something he would not have tolerated just a year ago. "How about you, little man? What do you want for lunch?"

"Grandma Elizabeth."

Jack laughed, "We can't _eat_ her, but she can make a pretty mean toasted cheese."

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Back in Jack and Elizabeth's suite, their grandchildren played a rousing game of 'Duck-Duck-Goose'. It was good, Jack thought, that their clan were the only guests on the floor.

Elizabeth smiled at Jack as she heated up some soup to go along with the grilled cheese. "What are you thinking about, love?"

"How sexy you look in that bikini," he slid a hand around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Unless you want to give the 'birds and bees' talk, you might want to wait until the kids have gone."

"I think I'll pass," Jack kissed her again and moved away.

"Grandpa?"

Jack looked down at his oldest grandson. "Yes, JM?"

"Are you gonna tell Mom what I did?"

"I don't know," Jack got down on JM's level. "You know how disappointed I am . . ."

JM's lower lip trembled, "But you said we're supposed to take care of EJ!"

"Yes I did. But you also need to tell your friends how to play with EJ. They don't know how much fun he is. And you know how your Mom and Dad and I feel about fighting." Jack hadn't raised his voice, but tears had formed in the little boy's eyes anyway.

"I'll make you a deal. I won't tell Mom _if_ you clean up after everyone _and_ help Grandma with the dishes. Deal?"

"Deal."

Jack scooped him into a bear hug, then pushed him back to play.

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Dinner that night was in Sydney and Will's suite. The family was in Jamaica for a three-week vacation to celebrate their respective five-year wedding anniversaries. And Jack was contemplating how much had changed in the past five years.

Not one of them was active in the CIA anymore. Jack was the only one who would occasionally consult on assignment, but that was few and far between. He and Elizabeth were adjunct professors at Berkley; he in Game Theory, she in Political Science.

Sydney was a full time Literature professor while Will was, at long last, a reporter for a national newspaper. Nadia and Eric had an Internet bakery. It allowed them to work at home and prepare the orders as they came in. The biggest advantage was that it allowed them to stay home with their children.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Sydney?"

"I just asked if the kids behaved."

JM looked a little nervous as Jack answered. Jack winked at him and said, "They were little angels."

"Sure, Jack," Will laughed.

"EJ had fun? No problems?" Eric asked.

"He was fine. Maggie had a good time, too," Elizabeth told him.

"You enjoyed your dolphin encounter?" Jack inquired.

"They were amazing!" gushed Nadia.

The group continued to chat and eat until the children's head started to droop. Will took the twins down the hall while Eric packed up EJ and Maggie.

Nadia hugged Jack, "Thanks for watching the kids, Dad. We had so much fun!" She turned and hugged Elizabeth as well.

"Yeah, thank you both. For everything," Sydney added.

The girls hugged him again, while JM threw his skinny arms around Jack's leg. "Time for bed, my boy." He hefted JM and kissed his cheek.

Once everyone was gone Elizabeth put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door. "Whew," she mimed wiping sweat from her brow.

Jack tugged her into his embrace. "I believe we have some unfinished business."

"Oh really?" she murmured as he kissed the sensitive spot behind her ear. "What would that be exactly?"

"A lesson in the birds and the bees." Jack picked Elizabeth up and carried her to the bedroom, intent on celebrating their fifth anniversary.

**Fin**


End file.
